Author Topic: "marriage prep" pre vatican II (Read 28443 times)

s2srea · « **Reply #20 on:** September 10, 2011, 02:05:29 PM »

Quote from: Telesphorus

Make them wait a year!

...What does a long engagement do but inflame the passions while frustrating them? Excessively long engagements that involve frequent close intimacy between the betrothed are morally unacceptable.

But, my friend, I think that there is quite the difference between a year and six months. Also, the situation that Bolkonsky was in, part of a aristocratic family in a novel set in the 19th century, can not be used as a blanket application for those looking to become married today.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #21 on:** September 10, 2011, 02:05:47 PM »

Quote from: Matthew

The six month wait is a test for men. It builds strength that will prove your true love for your spouse-to-be, and carry your marriage for years.

Matthew, with all due respect, that's preposterous.

Young men and young women have their whole lives to learn self restraint. Their whole lives before their engagement.

You cannot tell me that intimacy and closeness (an occasion of sin) with someone that will be one's spouse (that is owing the marriage debt) for a length of time is some sort of advantageous "training" or "test." It's simply entering into an occasion of sin unnecessarily to conform to modern prejudices, and it's morally unacceptable.

Morally unacceptable to believe a minimum six month engagment is necessary or somehow salutary.

Being forced into an occasions of sin without justification by the clergy is a very grave error and sin committed by clergy.

Telesphorus · « **Reply #22 on:** September 10, 2011, 02:07:27 PM »

Quote from: s2srea

Quote from: Telesphorus
Make them wait a year!

...What does a long engagement do but inflame the passions while frustrating them? Excessively long engagements that involve frequent close intimacy between the betrothed are morally unacceptable.

But, my friend, I think that there is quite the difference between a year and six months. Also, the situation that Bolkonsky was in, part of a aristocratic family in a novel set in the 19th century, can not be used as a blanket application for those looking to become married today.

I think the same thing is true though. A young woman or young man waiting is likely to fall into sin that can fundamentally compromise their future married life if they do get married.

I know a Protestant pastor who went with a Catholic girl for years. Years on years. The Catholic girl betrayed him - he was waiting to have a position to support his future wife. He has never spoken to me since I told him he was wrong to believe he could make her wait so long.

s2srea · « **Reply #23 on:** September 10, 2011, 02:08:18 PM »

Quote from: curiouscatholic23

Matthew- What do you think about the World War 2 catholic GI's who fell in love with european women and married them within a couple weeks of meeting them, and them brought them back to the US? This actually happened quite a bit.

They may have done something serious (as in fornication) and been forced to due to the norms of that time as well. I don't think it was as innocent or Catholic as you might think in all cases.

(the bold was for you Misses Leah :wink:)

TKGS · « **Reply #24 on:** September 10, 2011, 02:08:50 PM »

I agree that a standard 6 month waiting period is unnecessary and may be harmful. They are reacting, I think, to the divorce problem that is so prevelant amongst self-professed Catholics. Now, not one of the traditional Catholics I know have been divorced since becoming traditional Catholics. Some may, perhaps, have divorced before finding tradition, but I don't really know about that either.

I can understand not allowing a couple to get married unless both parties have been traditional Catholics for a lengthy period of time in order to prevent pretended conversions in order to get married. But two traditional Catholics who desire marriage should be able to get married within a fairly short period as long as they discuss the proposed marriage with the priest in a detailed fashion. It seems to me that since the Banns of Marriage are to be announced for three consecutive Sundays (Canon 1024), and the pastor must ensure a proper education prior to that, the minimum time would be about two months, give or take a few weeks.

However, I can hear the hoots and hollers now here on CathInfo if a traditional Catholic priest allowed marriages after only a short period of time and the couple later divorces and blames the priest for not giving sufficient marriage preparation.

For the clergy, it's damned if they do; damned if they don't.