CathMom, if it's any consolation, well of course your mother is Baptised, so there you go. But also, she probably saw the conciliar church days and 'catholic' to her might mean "Ah, liars and child rapists". For some reason, I have faith God will understand those turned off by the so-called "catholic church" of the late WW2/Vatican 2 eras. She's Baptised; she probably has no huge mortal sins; she prays in her own way; she saw the abomination of desolation in technicolor... keep praying that she might see Heaven, of course, but I'd imagine she's in a good place right now (people praying for her, innate love of God even if she didn't have the full knowledge, etc). I find playing Litany of the Saints and explaining the Latin to people (in nursing homes) shows them how WE know the Saints are alive and can intercede. Right there's the "cloud of witnesses" that Protestants can't explain and Luther didn't desecrate out of their bibles enough. Older Prots really pick up on these things, I find. (A priest told me he'd found a new place to harvest at one of the nursing homes last year; they call out for him!)
Poor Vermont2. I'll add your parents to my prayer list as well. I'm sure it would be for them like someone telling us, "Oh, well Jesus already CAME back and this is the new heaven and new earth" (you know, the stuff Frank is trying to pass off now). Wouldn't go down so well. Okay, we'd laugh uproariously. But when our ancestors are one thing, then there's this idea that pretty much condemns (as far as you can tell) your family, some people opt to go down with the ship, doing what they taught was right, so they don't "damn" their ancestors. My Dad didn't leave the NO until relatively recently (though my parents had definitely stopped going by the 1990s), and a huge reason was how his ancestors (esp his parents/uncles/aunts) passed away during the V2 upheavals. He felt like "leaving" the V2 "church" would be leaving Church. And their cultic priests know how to answer the "trad questions" (by explaining how trads are going to Hell). It's a HARD TIME to convert anyone!
Your mom will be given every chance at Baptism, because of your works, and graces God has given you. And that she can sit at Mass is a positive sign. I personally would guess the sooner the better, so she can help your dad, but it's not as we will, but as God wills. Her conversion could have ripple effects you may never know about. (Hey, my dad inadvertently got a vascular surgeon to convert from Judaism/atheism by ...staying alive during a procedure he had very little chance of surviving, about 8 years ago now. We'd show up and pray; priests would pray; miracle! Well, I guess that's properly God using my dad to convert.) To this day, Daddy asks why he's still alive; he doesn't see everything he does, his witness, his hope, etc, for people who I'd guess otherwise wouldn't have much hope. God's using your mom for a reason. She'll be Baptised of her own free will. (Or so we'll pray, that is.) I like that green scapular idea, too.