Pax there are many notes here if you care to look them up that go back to where those who deny BOD do claim damnation upon souls who were for reasons known only to God, unable to receive water Baptism, The Sacrament, yet they had love for God.
Perhaps like yourself, have softened this claim which is a good thing.
Myrna, salvation is not about "softening" or "being mean". It is about Church teaching. Your views on salvation are too emotional. You cannot confuse the Church's GENERAL teaching on salvation with Her SPECIFIC opinion on the Person A's salvation. 2 different things.
Example:
GENERAL, infallible, Church teaching:- Outside the Church there is no salvation
- Unless you are born again of water and the spirit, you shall not enter heaven
- Unless you follow the 10 commandments, you will go to hell
- Conclusions:
1. Unless one receives baptism, and is a VISIBLE member of the Church, they do not make it to heaven.
2. Non-catholics, thus, are in hell.
3. Catholics and non-catholics who do not follow the 10 commandments are in hell.
4. Certain catechumens, who died before baptism, could be in limbo if they were justified. But this deals with such a small, handful of people; it's almost meaningless.
SPECIFIC, Church teaching:1. Is John Doe, a non-catholic who didn't receive baptism, and died of a heart attack, in heaven? Church: "Probably not, because He didn't get baptised, but we don't know. Pray for him".
2. Is this John Doe in hell? "Probably, because he didn't get baptised, but we don't know. Pray for him."
3. Is Mary Jane, a catholic, who died of cancer in heaven? Church: "We don't know. She SEEMED to die a good death. Pray for her soul."
4. Is Mary Jane in hell? "We don't know. Pray for her soul."
5. Is Susie, a catechumen who died in a car accident before baptism, in heaven? Church: "We don't know. She was not baptised, so she can't have a catholic funeral, but pray for her."
6. Is Susie in hell? "Susie SEEMED to want to become part of the Church. Only God knows her heart and He called her to judgement. We don't know. She cannot have a catholic funeral since she wasn't a member, but pray for her."
I hope you see the differences between the GENERAL church teachings, which we MUST accept, and the SPECIFIC answers given about SPECIFIC people's deaths. The Church, and Christ, are not in the business of condeming people to hell for the fun of it. On the contrary, the Church was founded to save souls! But, you CANNOT contradict the GENERAL Church teaching out of emotion and for sentimental reasons, because it sounds "mean" to condemn a non-catholic to hell. It is not mean, it is Church teaching and the letter of the law. But as St Paul says, 'the letter of the law, without the spirit, kills.' Thus, the spirit of the law says to pray for non-catholics. But this does not mean that they are saved, because, based on appearances, they were not saved, since they didn't become catholics. And if they were not saved, there is a VERY good reason they were not, for God is all-just and does not condemn anyone to hell who does not deserve it.