Ladislaus,

After posting back and forth with you for so long on baptism of desire, I noticed a pattern in your replies where many things are repeated post to post. So I thought I could save you some time in the future by creating a template for you to use as a starting point when you reply to someone on the subject of baptism of desire. Hope this helps:

Dear <insert name of person that believes in baptism of desire here>,

You are a <insert insult here>.

Your quote on baptism of desire is <choose one or more of the options below>:

1. An example of the Church contradicting itself
2. Doesn't mean what the rest of the world thinks it means
3. A heresy that no one noticed all of these centuries until the Feeneyites finally caught it

<Next be sure to use as an argument a quote that everyone already knows and agrees with, such as:>
The Church teaches, "Unless a man be born again of water and the Holy Ghost, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God"

<Insert a statement that you personally believe but that you can't find a quote for. Use lots of big words to make it look believable, and though you can't prove it, use lots of underlines and colors to show you MEAN it. REALLY embellish this baby - if you're lucky this may stop those Cushingites dead in their tracks. Something like:>

You are the only <insult here> that doesn't know that it is a super magisterially invincible dogma that angels baptize those in invincible ignorance. I am formally, materially, and doctrinally convinced this is solemnly binding! Someone years ago posted an extraordinarily solemn quote for it and it was implicitly explicit, so there is no doubt about it. You are the only <insult here> in the WHOLE universe that doesn't know this.

<Don't forget to add:>
You are the the biggest, hugest, most monstrous heretic not only of this entire forum, but of the whole Internet, whole world, and whole universe!

<Be sure to add a really cool smilie such as someone burning at the stake, even if you didn't prove anything by this post. It may make some inexperienced onlookers think you really did prove something. Either way, it looks cool.>

<Before sending, review the rest of your message above to make sure you dodged all questions that would make the Feeneyites look bad>

<Reminder: you can use this template for all future posts and it should hopefully save you some time, but just mix it up a little so it continues to look somewhat intelligent>