I've only read what you've posted so far but the winking temptress made me laugh. I'm not sure why but I just wasn't expecting the wink. It caught me off guard. It's good though, gets the point across without being graphic.
The only table I had difficulty with was the "Thomas is suffering from lameness". Being of a modern mind, lameness made me think of "uncool" rather than of an actual limp, so I wasn't sure what you were getting at. I had to reread it to get it. Younger generations may have the same trip up but it might just be me.
Other than that it looks good! Looks like you've put a lot of work into it. I have bookmarked the link for future referrence. Thanks for sharing!