Author Topic: I am losing everything. (Read 3471 times)

spouse of Jesus · « **on:** March 14, 2009, 06:08:46 AM »

I always wanted to be a saint.........
the idea of becoming a christian had just entered my mind that I heard about St.Bernadette.I was then nearly 14 and I knew that she was 14 when she saw our Lady,I cried bitterly over my being 14 and not being holy.I used to write love letters to Jesus asking him to give me cross and nail my hands.I was so full of courage,really ready to die for my beloved.somedays I was so restless that I ran to the Church people looked surprsingly at me and my ferver and told me to thank God for such a holy zeal.I gave large alms and avoided lying and backbitting.and many saw my good example and went to the Church with me and even asked me to paint an image of Jesus for them.in school my classmate called me "Holy" and my uncle named me"Christ's dear friend".I used to go church to church begging for baptism even trying to baptyize myself in a tube!!!.when I heard that I must wait till priests are given more freedom of action,I became really sad.....I was dead to this world and it was necessary for my family to force me to adorn myself when we wanted to go to a banquet because I paid no attention to my appearace.
all thses years I had a strong confidence in God.there was a moslem beliefe that God watches over his saints,and never forsakes them,he apposes and resists the enemies of his saints.
then I asked a protestant preacher whether christianity says the same or not.he answered:"NO".it was end of everything.
"God respects the free will of your enemy","God hasn't promised to keep those who believe in him" and so many other sad truths.
then I realized that it was I who must help myself not God.
I began to wear make up to backbite and lie and to see bad images and read bad materials.I began to learn what I should have never learnd.I used to say:"I must make myself strong or I will be trampeled under feet I must know this world or I will be ruined"
"God respects the free will of your enemy even the free will of those who want to damn you,or rape you".
"I thought that Jesus was a husband to nuns.no husband allows his wife to be raped before his eyes,why then Jesus allowed many nuns to be raped".the answer was the old saying"God respects their free will"
then I saw an image of our Lord with a child in his arms the painter wanted to impoly that the Lord will keep you safe in his arms.but I knew that God's fatherhood is not like man's.he is a father who respects the free will of wolves who want to devour his child.
I made a vow of chastity and felt married to Jesus.but I thought:"if I had an earthly husband he would defend me and give me a refuge in his arms.but Jesus will never do so"
and Now that we are approaching the era of Antichrist I am more afraid than ever."what if many soldiers invade our house and desire to*****?"what if the government ever desire to imprison me and put in the same cell with women of *****?","what if they take me to a bad place?","what if they imprison me in a public convenience place where I can't pray?"
and many other what ifs.I am so afraid knowing that God will respect free will of everybody.
Norooz celeberation is at hand and we should visit our relatives I am going to swoon out of grief because I don't want to go to my paternal greandmother's house whose walls is full of islamic picture and verses.
I am done perhaps I should give up.
I am at the threshold of despair.I must accept my ruin.
God will not stop those who want to destroy my salvation.
he will respect their free will.

gladius_veritatis · « **Reply #1 on:** March 14, 2009, 08:45:13 AM »

Get a grip, my lady. NO ONE - man or devil - can ever make you sin, much less lose your soul. Their free will, or absence thereof, means NOTHING where your own free will is concerned. You go on (and on and on) about this or that, but you refrain from entering the Ark that has an abundance of grace and the access thereto. GET BAPTIZED, TRUST IN GOD - NOT YOURSELF - and let the chips fall where they may. I have told you - ANYONE can baptize you validly. Find out the correct form, find someone willing to help you, etc., and DO IT.

As you know the Protestant has got the bigger picture incorrect, why have you let his false ideas about grace, etc., influence your ideas and actions? FORGET him and his nonsense. With God, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

Catholic Samurai · « **Reply #2 on:** March 14, 2009, 12:11:12 PM »

spouse of Jesus · « **Reply #3 on:** March 14, 2009, 02:38:42 PM »

oh thank you.now I feel better.
so you mean that God will take care of those who love him and will watch over them.
but living among moslems(who don't want to baptize any one)I could find only this protestant man wiling to baptize me.
but it will be a private baptism and a private baptism can be given in the case of necessity dosent it?
is it bad if I ask our Lady to obtain from Jesus a catholic baptism for me?for example:"dear Lady please obtain that a fearless catholic priest be founds wiling to baptize me."

Adesto · « **Reply #4 on:** March 14, 2009, 03:52:00 PM »

Dear Spouse,
Have you been received into the Catholic Church by a priest, received instruction, etc?

If so, they should have discussed with you your earlier baptism, and perhaps you could have been baptized conditionally, which means, in case your previous baptism wasn't valid. You can still receive conditional baptism if a priest thinks it necessary. My advice would be to speak to a Catholic priest.

As regards protecting the Saints, I have discussed this with several of my Muslim friends and their big problem (as you know) is that they cannot accept Jesus as God, or even accept that Jesus, as a prophet, was killed on the Cross, because of this idea of protecting the Saints. But Jesus protects us by giving us STRENGTH when bad things happen to us, just as He was STRONG when He was crucified and Our Lady was STRONG when she had to watch her Beloved Son die. If bad things never happened to us, or we never had temptations to sin, how could we prove to Jesus that we love Him by resisting those temptations?

To use an analogy- suppose I wanted to show my mother how much I love her, and promised her that I would always sweep the yard for her, every day. If I find it easy, and it takes very little effort, it's not a big deal. But if I find it very tiring, and it's a big effort to sweep that yard, it's showing my mother even more love because I'm doing something which is difficult for me. Likewise, if we find it easy to practice virtue, and to stay out of sin, it's great, but we're not being tested. If we find it hard to be good, and we keep getting tempted to commit sin, it makes it all the more pleasing to God when we ARE good and resist sin. Because it costs us more, it's worth more in the eyes of God. God sometimes allows us to be tempted in order to test our love for Him. But remember, He never allows us to be tempted above our strength.

As for suffering and being hurt by others, remember that Jesus Himself gave us the supreme example. He was crucified out of love for us. If we are hurt or killed because we are followers of Christ, we will earn glory in Heaven because of our love for Jesus, and we will please Him immensely. I'm sure you know that if someone is chooses to be killed rather than deny the Catholic Faith, they will go straight to Heaven. I would advise you to read the stories of the Saints and Martyrs, they will give you encouragement.

"if I had an earthly husband he would defend me and give me a refuge in his arms.but Jesus will never do so"

The key word there is EARTHLY husband. An earthly husband will (should!) defend your body and protect your life here on earth. Jesus will defend your soul and take you to Heaven, if you love Him and His Church and obey the Commandments, live as a good Catholic etc etc.

Hope that helps :) Prayers anyways!

gladius_veritatis · « **Reply #5 on:** March 14, 2009, 06:26:40 PM »

Quote from: Adesto

The key word there is EARTHLY husband. An earthly husband will (should!) defend your body and protect your life here on earth. Jesus will defend your soul and take you to Heaven, if you love Him and His Church and obey the Commandments, live as a good Catholic etc etc.

This could give some the impression that the earthly husband does not need to worry about safeguarding the soul, and that Jesus is unconcerned with your physical well being - NONSENSE.

spouse of Jesus · « **Reply #6 on:** March 15, 2009, 01:22:43 AM »

You are so good and kind.
you caused me to think seriously about the whole matter.I am looking for a very powerful prayer/devotion,because I want to ask God to remove the obstacles.I was considering 54 day Rosary.but it must begin with joyful and end with glorious mysteries the problem is that if you begin on a saturday or monday (joyful) you will not end it on a sunday or wednesday(glorious).how do you do it?

Adesto · « **Reply #7 on:** March 15, 2009, 03:16:20 AM »

Quote from: gladius_veritatis

Quote from: Adesto
The key word there is EARTHLY husband. An earthly husband will (should!) defend your body and protect your life here on earth. Jesus will defend your soul and take you to Heaven, if you love Him and His Church and obey the Commandments, live as a good Catholic etc etc.

This could give some the impression that the earthly husband does not need to worry about safeguarding the soul, and that Jesus is unconcerned with your physical well being - NONSENSE.

Apologies, it wasn't my intention to confuse. Thank you for pointing out my error, Gladius.

Irenaeus · « **Reply #8 on:** March 15, 2009, 08:26:21 PM »

Quote from: spouse of Jesus

You are so good and kind.
you caused me to think seriously about the whole matter.I am looking for a very powerful prayer/devotion,because I want to ask God to remove the obstacles.I was considering 54 day Rosary.but it must begin with joyful and end with glorious mysteries the problem is that if you begin on a saturday or monday (joyful) you will not end it on a sunday or wednesday(glorious).how do you do it?

You always start this novena by praying the joyful mysteries. It doesn't matter what day of the week you begin. Here are a couple of helpful links.

http://www.fatima.org/apostolate/vlarchive/vl083_1006.asp

http://www.fatima.org/apostolate/vlarchive/novena_table.asp

spouse of Jesus · « **Reply #9 on:** March 15, 2009, 10:43:36 PM »

thanks all of you!

spouse of Jesus · « **Reply #10 on:** March 15, 2009, 10:47:43 PM »

I just realized that this thread is in a wrong forum.
sorry ChantCD please forgive me.

gladius_veritatis · « **Reply #11 on:** March 16, 2009, 07:05:43 PM »

Well, if it is any consolation, I believe we are ALL losing everything right now, in one way or another. This is the stripping down that is part of the purification that the world must pass through to be cleansed. God speed.

DeMaistre · « **Reply #12 on:** May 20, 2009, 01:32:31 PM »

My apologies if I come off an whiny or rude, but you must get baptized -- why do you think that you are despairing? Despair is a sure sign of the devil, who is trying to drag this out long enough for you to die before you get baptized. Remember, anyone can baptize you.

Dawn · « **Reply #13 on:** May 20, 2009, 04:45:09 PM »

Hard for her to find someone to baptize you in Iran.

DeMaistre · « **Reply #14 on:** May 20, 2009, 10:45:04 PM »

Quote from: Dawn

Hard for her to find someone to baptize you in Iran.

I am more than certain, that if she got down her knees and begged a priest (if one is available), or even Protestant minister, to baptize her, she would be baptized. Persia is not as anti-Catholic as we make it out to be. Of course, while a priest might object at first, if she persists, I have no doubt it would happen eventually.