Sometimes I really don’t know if I committed a mortal sin or not, I have a doubt whether there was full consent and advertence, for example.
I can only go to confession on the weekends (there’s no weekday confessions) but I have access to daily Mass and I’m able to go to it. So sometimes it can happen at the beginning of the week and that would mean I wouldn’t be able to go to Communion for the rest of the week till I confess.
Many times I’ve gone back and forth and decided there was no mortal sin based on previous confession feedback and based on what I know of when it becomes mortal, so in these situations, I’ve gone to Communion.
But then I always have the thought in the back of my mind: should I really have gone? Was it really not a mortal sin? Was it a sacrilege? Obviously each time I hope I wasn’t in mortal sin and made several acts of perfect contrition but of course I know perfect contrition is not enough to receive Communion if you’re truly certain you’re in mortal sin.
So I always wonder if I did the right thing because obviously I don’t want to commit sacrilege but at the same time I don’t want to be depriving myself of the benefit of Communion unnecessarily and I always wonder if it’s the devil trying to make me not go.