I keep in contact by mail, once or twice a year, with a person who was the friend of a deceased relative of mine.  Now said person has sent me a letter in response to a short note and a couple of photos that I sent them, and asked emphatically that I give them my email and phone number.

My question is in the interest of charity do I have to accede to their request because this is what they want?  I do not wish to increase contact because I believe it will lead to increased requests for contact.  I am also concerned that they will give out my phone number to another individual whom I definitely do not wish to speak to ... but I cannot say this outright because it will likely hurt the feelings of one, or both, if the one tells the other.

I am not now nor have I ever been a personal friend of this person.  They are quite a bit older than me and feel connected to me due to the relationship with the relative.  I feel guilty about not wanting to increase contact .... but I don't want to be forced to have contact either.

Is this lack of charity?  Am I being a terrible person?

Thank you for replying :)

This individual is not a Catholic,, but rather secular, no faith.

I was remembering what I'd known of them years ago and even more currently due to past short term contact with one of their family members.  They tend to be very choleric in their dealings with others and have been estranged from family and friends at various times due to arguments and hurt feelings.  I do not want to get involved in that ... sooner or later, I'd offend them, due to my inadequacies and due to their temperament and then that would be worse than not dealing with them at all.

My conflict was in the sense that charity means doing whatever anyone wants you to do (barring sin) regardless of how you feel about it.



 

I'm not concerned with physical harm.

However, this individual and the other person with whom they are friends and knew my relative were all involved in immoral living and I was a child in that environment.  There's a lot more to this story.  Suffice it to say, I have no interest in reliving the past.  Their memories of that time are not mine.  I have good reason to believe based on past interactions with them, that they want to talk about that time and think I will share in some romantic view of it as well.  That's not the case.  It's not as though they've repented.  They are proud of their hippie past.

There's a lot more.  But I don't want to talk to or see these people.  I wish them well and I will continue to pray for them.  That is all.

Tell her the truth and tell her you have repented for the past.  Invite her to Mass.  
Give her a pamphlet about Heaven and Hell.

She knows I'm Catholic.  I send her religious Christmas cards every year with a holy card in them.  She lives 300 miles from me.  The increased contact idea has to do with what she wrote in her note.  Her grandson and his wife were on this side of the country for a hiking trip (thousands of miles from where they live), and apparently said individual wanted to give him my phone number in case of emergency.  Their hiking trip apparently encompassed a thousand miles over a few weeks and they apparently would pass through this area on their way down.  

I don't know her grandson and haven't seen him in person since he was 2 years old ... that was 23 years ago.

Another thing that is great concern to me has to do with the sins I struggle the most with...namely idle chatter, gossip and talking about myself and my feelings.  I've been doing this my whole life and it's really hard for me to spend time around people who are no circuмspect about their thoughts, opinions, feelings and also who don't see anything wrong with gossiping.  This person has and will likely talk about my deceased relatives and their lives and all of that and I don't want to go there.  It's a closed book as far as I'm concerned because their lives were terrible.  From my perspective as a Catholic, their lives and deaths were tragedies that are too painful to discuss.

I'm saying too much now.  Thanks for your advice. You've given me much to consider ... but at this time, I think I'm going to play it safe and be silent.  Better not to say or write something I'll regret.