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Traditional Catholic Faith => Anσnymσus Posts Allowed => Topic started by: Änσnymσus on May 30, 2020, 07:03:47 PM

Title: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on May 30, 2020, 07:03:47 PM
What's a Catholic husband to do if his wife doesn't pray with him?
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Nadir on May 30, 2020, 07:11:51 PM
More information needed. 
Length of marriage, religious background of wife and husband, what you do do together, any children, etc, etc.?
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on May 30, 2020, 07:35:06 PM
Length of marriage, religious background of wife and husband, what you do do together, any children, etc, etc.?
wife and husband initially traditional, but wife attached to Novus Ordo family
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Ladislaus on May 30, 2020, 08:03:25 PM
Does she not pray at all or just not with you?
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on May 31, 2020, 08:11:33 AM
Do you pray ponderously slowly, or self-absorbedly fast?  That's enough to drive a person crazy, though I think the anonymous Wife Beater on this forum would probably advocate you giving your wife a good thrashing, dunking her in cold water and then perhaps tying her to a catapult and launching her into the distance...

I will pray a rosary for you and your family this week.  God bless you!
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: LaudaSion on May 31, 2020, 08:12:03 AM
Do you pray ponderously slowly, or self-absorbedly fast?  That's enough to drive a person crazy, though I think the anonymous Wife Beater on this forum would probably advocate you giving your wife a good thrashing, dunking her in cold water and then perhaps tying her to a catapult and launching her into the distance...

I will pray a rosary for you and your family this week.  God bless you!
Sorry, that was me.  I forgot to tick the box!
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Jaynek on May 31, 2020, 09:14:31 AM
wife and husband initially traditional, but wife attached to Novus Ordo family
I am a traditional Catholic and my husband is Novus Ordo.  It is a challenge for us to find forms of prayer that we both are comfortable with, but we do still manage to prayer together a bit.  It probably is less than an ideal amount though.  

I think you need to find a way of praying that she is able to do meaningfully.  While you have the authority to order her, if she merely obeyed you out of duty, she would end up going through the motions of prayer without sincerity.  Pray for God to guide you in fulfilling your duty as the spiritual head of the family.  

What kinds of prayers have you tried doing together?  Does she object to the Rosary? Does she pray by herself?
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 27, 2020, 08:32:57 PM
Does she not pray at all or just not with you?
just not with me
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 27, 2020, 08:34:43 PM
Does she object to the Rosary?
She doesn't pray it.
Does she pray by herself?
yes
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 27, 2020, 08:49:35 PM
what you do do together
eat one meal a day together
any children
no
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 27, 2020, 08:52:03 PM
What's a Catholic husband to do if his wife doesn't pray with him?
Two options that I see:
1. Beat her into submission.  I don't recommend this route.
2. Pray in a public place in the home at a set time every day, preferably with the children, and perhaps she will join.  Leave her alone otherwise.  We are to lead by example.
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 28, 2020, 08:44:33 AM
Just the Rosary... Both pray fifteen decades in the same language with the same prayers and mysteries at the same speed? Then what’s the problem... how about compromise and pray five alone, five together with him leading, five together with her leading, etc. Praying the Rosary with people who do not say it correctly in Latin or who do it too slowly can be distracting. Otherwise, why does it matter if she wants to say it alone?
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 28, 2020, 08:49:14 AM
 why does it matter if she wants to say it alone?
The family that prays together, stays together.
Also, spouses praying together reminds them that there are three in their marriage.
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: forlorn on July 28, 2020, 09:32:03 AM
just not with me
Why doesn't she want to pray with you? 
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 28, 2020, 09:56:44 AM
eat one meal a day together
That's all you do? Why is she so cold with you?
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 29, 2020, 09:04:47 PM
Why is she so cold with you?
Maybe she's unfaithful?
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Miseremini on July 29, 2020, 10:11:21 PM
Maybe she's unfaithful?
That's disgusting! Nothing in this thread even hints at that.  Many couples only get to eat one meal together.  My parents were married 60 years and 47 of those years when my father worked they only saw each other on weekends and from 6PM to 4:30 AM during the week.
As long as my husband worked we only ate one meal together during the week.
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Miseremini on July 29, 2020, 10:24:09 PM
When you have children a family rosary is admirable and advisable but 2 people, even a couple, are not necessarily on the same spiritual level.  Over the years your spirituality should blend together but the OP doesn't say how long they've been married.
Some people have longer periods of meditation when they pray.
I'd advise opening up a calm conversation about this.  Maybe start with praying the rosary together one day a week and let the graces take it from there.
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 29, 2020, 10:52:24 PM
When you have a intimate time, cozy up to maybe a decade of the rosary, first.
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on July 30, 2020, 05:59:33 AM
My husband's grandfather used to give these long sermon prayers before dinner. One time he prayed so long that a guest at the table yelled out, "oh come on Bob, let's eat." Do you  take half an hour or longer to pray the rosary?
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 09, 2020, 04:24:36 PM
When you have children a family rosary is admirable and advisable but 2 people, even a couple, are not necessarily on the same spiritual level.  Over the years your spirituality should blend together but the OP doesn't say how long they've been married.
over a decade
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 09, 2020, 04:24:54 PM
Maybe she's unfaithful?
There's no evidence of this.
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 09, 2020, 10:09:53 PM
If she is NO and you are traditional? then that may be the reason.  Maybe she is praying for your conversion and you are praying for hers?

What will break the camels back. Who will win out?  Your prayers are very strong.  Pray for whatever it takes.

My husband came home after a Sunday Mass that he attended alone and said no more to NO.  What happened I asked.  Two lesbians sat on either side of him in a pew.  That broke the camels back.

For my friend, it was proof that NO supports abortion in programs of Catholic Charities.  Then there is the pull of possible friends and family that do all they can to hold on to NO friends.  So, for every person there can be a reason to stay NO.  

For myself, I read Federal grants and proved to myself and those who had an ear to want to know, that all dioceses support abortion, all!  It has been going on for decades. NO serves the Gov't, federal and state.

So, if this is the case, besides prayer, the devil hates fasting.  One lady we know, fasted from sweets for 4 years and her husband gave up the booze. 
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 10, 2020, 02:51:00 PM
My parents were married 60 years and 47 of those years when my father worked they only saw each other on weekends and from 6PM to 4:30 AM during the week.
Sounds like they had little choice.
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 10, 2020, 05:25:54 PM
Have you asked your wife to pray with you? How does she answer?  Get deep and ask again, why?
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 11, 2020, 09:18:54 AM
eat one meal a day togetherno
What kind of a marriage is this????
You do nothing together but eat one meal together?
No wonder you don't have children after a decade.
You two need counseling.
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 12, 2020, 03:23:09 PM
Have you asked your wife to pray with you?
yes
How does she answer?
nothing that makes sense
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Croixalist on August 12, 2020, 04:31:07 PM
For some people there's a huge drop off when the pomp and fantasy of being with someone romantically 24/7 wears out. Sounds like the OP's spouse has that in spades plus a large backload of resentment as a result. It's impossible to say how much of his wife's current condition is attributable to the husband, but at this point it sounds like he's long past connecting over anything but daily routine. That's really tough! Her resentment might have even hardened into scathing hatred by the sounds of it. Then again, the OP must know this. In fact this entire thread may be an excuse to meditate on how much he ought to resent her in return. "Nothing that makes sense" says to me he already knows, he's just looking for validation.

But I could definitely be wrong on that.

It may be that a genuinely clueless guy is just figuring out the depths of his wife's animosity towards him. He has my sympathy if that is the case. In addition to examining where he himself may have helped cause the rift, it will be extremely useful to examine the wife's outside interests, coworkers, friends and family for signs of potential malignant influences. However she got to this point, brace yourself OP because it may take all your resources and wits as a man to pull her out of it while keeping your faith in the process.
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Venantius0518 on August 12, 2020, 05:08:45 PM
For some people there's a huge drop off when the pomp and fantasy of being with someone romantically 24/7 wears out. Sounds like the OP's spouse has that in spades plus a large backload of resentment as a result. It's impossible to say how much of his wife's current condition is attributable to the husband, but at this point it sounds like he's long past connecting over anything but daily routine. That's really tough! Her resentment might have even hardened into scathing hatred by the sounds of it. Then again, the OP must know this. In fact this entire thread may be an excuse to meditate on how much he ought to resent her in return. "Nothing that makes sense" says to me he already knows, he's just looking for validation.

But I could definitely be wrong on that.

It may be that a genuinely clueless guy is just figuring out the depths of his wife's animosity towards him. He has my sympathy if that is the case. In addition to examining where he himself may have helped cause the rift, it will be extremely useful to examine the wife's outside interests, coworkers, friends and family for signs of potential malignant influences. However she got to this point, brace yourself OP because it may take all your resources and wits as a man to pull her out of it while keeping your faith in the process.
A decade marriage and he doesn't know why he has trouble in his marriage?  I am not buying it.
.
Maybe it's the fact that they have no children after a decade that she has resentment.
.
He knows...
.
And he has much bigger problems than his wife not praying with him.
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Nadir on August 13, 2020, 02:12:56 AM
Why are you childless after such a period of time? Do you / your wife have a problem with fertility, or are children being thwarted?

Do you / your wife want children?
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on August 13, 2020, 11:56:49 AM
Maybe put a Green Scapular under her side of the bed or somewhere she spends a lot of time, and pray the rosary for her. Conversions have occurred through this practice. She may receive the grace to pray with you.
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: St Frumentius on August 13, 2020, 11:59:15 AM
Maybe put a Green Scapular under her side of the bed or somewhere she spends a lot of time, and pray the rosary for her. Conversions have occurred through this practice. She may receive the grace to pray with you.
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on September 18, 2020, 07:33:35 PM
resentment
like how Rachel seemingly resented Jacob:
1 And Rachel seeing herself without children, envied her sister, and said to her husband: Give me children, otherwise I shall die.
2 And Jacob being angry with her, answered: Am I as God, who hath deprived thee of the fruit of thy womb?
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on September 18, 2020, 07:34:54 PM
Maybe it's the fact that they have no children after a decade that she has resentment.
of course there's resentment
And he has much bigger problems than his wife not praying with him.
Such as?
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on September 18, 2020, 07:36:20 PM
are children being thwarted?
not actively
Do you / your wife want children?
in younger days, yes, but no longer
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on February 02, 2021, 07:29:17 PM
Does she not pray at all
I don't think so.
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on February 02, 2021, 07:37:08 PM
It should be that all married women are praying for children ! 
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: FlosCarmeli13 on February 10, 2021, 10:44:51 AM
To OP, if you and your wife share at least one meal together, do you pray before you eat?

It sounds like praying the Rosary together is too much--right now.  Does your wife have any favorites saints or devotions?  Perhaps you can pray a novena together.  
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on February 10, 2021, 03:04:51 PM
What's a Catholic husband to do if his wife doesn't pray with him?
My suggestion is as you are the key to your wife's full conversion, never stop praying, arrange Masses be offered for this important intention..... At this time in your life, it is your special cross, don't drag behind you, but embrace it completely!
God bless you both. 
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on February 10, 2021, 06:08:35 PM
It should be that all married women are praying for children !
You didn’t say your ages.  I don’t know for sure, but I highly doubt my mother prayed for children after a certain age!  She prayed for grandchildren.
You cannot convert your wife.  That’s the job of the Holy Ghost.  Your job is to cooperate with God by persevering in prayer for her.  Maybe if you just quit urging her to pray, pleading with her, giving her religious items, purposely praying so she can hear and see you, she’ll think you’ve given up.  That could lead her to wonder if she’s really a hopeless case and go to God for herself.  If you try this, pray about it first and make no change until you get permission.  I don’t know you or your wife, but I know of a woman who converted when her boyfriend seemingly gave up on proselytizing her.
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: songbird on February 10, 2021, 07:02:23 PM
The Cure of Ars knew that there were different demons for temptation.  Some require fasting. You fast with your prayers. There is a book on Satan in the Modern world.
It describes how the victims act, such as not prayerful and etc. And what helps to take care of demons, put them on their way out.
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 12, 2022, 05:23:54 PM
perhaps she will join.  Leave her alone otherwise.
Why? Is nagging/persistence counterproductive?
We are to lead by example.
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 12, 2022, 05:27:15 PM
You didn’t say your ages.
We're in our 30's.
You cannot convert your wife.  That’s the job of the Holy Ghost.  Your job is to cooperate with God by persevering in prayer for her.
Good advice, thanks
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 12, 2022, 06:42:27 PM
Maybe talk to her about the couple (family) that prays together stays together.  It brings grace and protection from evil. 


Put in rosary in cd of car or cell phone of rosary in car when you go for a ride.  She might pray along. Or at bedtime.  

If you nag and try to force someone , the more they reject.  
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 12, 2022, 06:43:47 PM
One thing that’s beautiful and holy is going to Mass and receiving communion next to my husband.  
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 12, 2022, 08:20:49 PM
Why? Is nagging/persistence counterproductive?
Yes, nagging is counterproductive.
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 12, 2022, 09:26:34 PM
The Cure of Ars knew that there were different demons for temptation.  Some require fasting. You fast with your prayers. There is a book on Satan in the Modern world.
It describes how the victims act, such as not prayerful and etc. And what helps to take care of demons, put them on their way out.
What book is this?
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 13, 2022, 02:37:13 PM
the full title is "Evidence of Satan in the Modern World", by Leon Christian

Cure of Ars, St. John Vianney also mentions how fasting along with prayer is needed to take care of demons that hold souls.

Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 13, 2022, 02:43:55 PM
It is sad and depressing to not to be able to have children and then watch complete morons have them.  That is understandable.  We know this pain. 

God blessed you both with each other.  God has His reasons.  

Be patient.  Keep praying.   Be happy and optimistic too.  Tell her that you love her. 


Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 14, 2022, 07:30:24 PM
I suggest the web site of "One More Soul". If the issue is low fertility and you and your wife did not receive info in this area, that site and Thomas Hilgers group.
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Nadir on June 14, 2022, 08:17:49 PM
If fertility is at the base of the problem

https://fertilitycare.org/what-is-naprotechnology

https://www.catholicmedicalcenter.org/care-and-treatment/obstetrics-gynecology/fertility%E2%80%93naprotechnology
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Änσnymσus on June 14, 2022, 08:26:09 PM
You can maybe try to get your wife interested in religious topics. There’s many interesting short items online that explain aspects of our faith (like  the Guadalupe tilma, the Shroud of Turin, Eucharistic miracles, Incorruptible Saints, etc.) that she might find interesting. In addition, there’s a very good NO program called Bible in a Year with Father Mike Schmitz, online that goes through the entire Bible over the course of one year. He reads it and comments on the passages read. He tries to give helpful hints as to how we can improve our lives through the examples from the Bible. Very good for conversation about prayer, since many passages are Psalms, etc. Also, you can mix up your prayers by month e.g. This is the month of the Sacred Heart and pray that extra prayer for that month. Anyway, I would try to get her more comfortable and interested in the topics and then attempt to pray with her.  
Title: Re: Wife not praying with husband
Post by: Sefa on June 15, 2022, 03:00:28 AM
It is sad and depressing to not to be able to have children and then watch complete morons have them.  That is understandable.  We know this pain.

God blessed you both with each other.  God has His reasons. 

Be patient.  Keep praying.  Be happy and optimistic too.  Tell her that you love her.
This is the kind of bitterness and pride that prevents people having children, whilst "morons" do. Judge not lest ye be judged and take the beam out of your own eye. Mortify your pride and you'll improve in spiritual and bodily health to bear fruit, unless it was an incompatible union in the first place borne out of pride.