Author Topic: Wife defrosts meat on the floor (Read 8778 times)

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #225 on:** June 18, 2025, 07:44:07 PM »

Quote from: MaterDominici on June 18, 2025, 06:05:07 PM

You're not going to get far if you can't manage to have a discussion with your wife without losing your temper.

Is her family Traditional? If you're in her country and the family is Catholic, go and ask her parents or siblings for advice.

You're telling me. Imagine having a discussion with someone that constantly interrupts you and twist the topic. I cant remember if I was ever able to have an honest discussion about our problems. It immediately turns into blaming and how my past treatment justifies her contempt for me.

MaterDominici · « **Reply #226 on:** June 18, 2025, 08:37:35 PM »

You can't control her reaction, but you can at least try to stay calm on your end. If she interrupts, let her talk and consider not who is wrong or right, but is what she wants something you're willing to do for the sake of your family. I'm not suggesting you always just do her bidding, but you're at an impasse right now and someone has to extend a gesture of good will, and you're the one here asking.

I'm no expert, but the two of you loved (and even liked) each other at some point in the past and now you both drive each other crazy and have a hard time remembering anything you like about each other. Often, it really boils down to one big thing that sets off this pattern. Often you tolerate a great number of small things until something big comes along and then all of those small things become intolerable as well. So far, the things you've mentioned all seem pretty small, albeit a little crazy imo. The crazy was already there when you still liked her, so what was the trigger? Was it a big move? a job change? The new baby? Maybe all of the above? -- The baby alone is a huge change even if health isn't an issue. Does she need help adjusting to motherhood?

Unless this was an arranged marriage, you knew her beforehand and didn't take issue with her need for cleanliness. If you think she's acting like a completely different person because of the recent pregnancy and she doesn't agree, you're just going to have to be patient with her and try not to make things worse while she recovers.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #227 on:** June 19, 2025, 01:55:37 AM »

For the sake of your child first and foremost I would endure as peacefully as possible until you get back to your own country then you can put manners on your wife once you are in your own country but until then, lay low and quiet. Pray for the strength to endure. I am a woman so take this advice with a pinch of salt but it is what I would say to my own son if he was in this situation. Also her threats of leaving must be empty as you post that she is afraid that she would be on the streets if anything happened you. However If she lived on her own she may have some financial independence, how much are her own family involved in her life, has she a support network if she did leave, you need to have a realistic evaluation on how strong her threats are for your own peace of mind. I do believe she is bluffing, she may not be bluffing about calling the police on you.
Was this unreasonable behaviour there during her 9 months of pregnancy or did it suddenly explode after the baby was born? If it was only minor beforehand and it escalated way out of proportion after the baby was born then it is certainly a mental health issue tied into hormones and you can ignore previous advice and focus on getting her back to health. Just my two cents worth but you have my full sympathy and prayers.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #228 on:** June 19, 2025, 04:11:29 AM »

Quote from: MaterDominici on June 18, 2025, 08:37:35 PM

You can't control her reaction, but you can at least try to stay calm on your end. If she interrupts, let her talk and consider not who is wrong or right, but is what she wants something you're willing to do for the sake of your family. I'm not suggesting you always just do her bidding, but you're at an impasse right now and someone has to extend a gesture of good will, and you're the one here asking.

I'm no expert, but the two of you loved (and even liked) each other at some point in the past and now you both drive each other crazy and have a hard time remembering anything you like about each other. Often, it really boils down to one big thing that sets off this pattern. Often you tolerate a great number of small things until something big comes along and then all of those small things become intolerable as well. So far, the things you've mentioned all seem pretty small, albeit a little crazy imo. The crazy was already there when you still liked her, so what was the trigger? Was it a big move? a job change? The new baby? Maybe all of the above? -- The baby alone is a huge change even if health isn't an issue. Does she need help adjusting to motherhood?

Unless this was an arranged marriage, you knew her beforehand and didn't take issue with her need for cleanliness. If you think she's acting like a completely different person because of the recent pregnancy and she doesn't agree, you're just going to have to be patient with her and try not to make things worse while she recovers.

No triggers. When people start living together they notice things about the other person more. It wasn't until after we got married. There weren't any major red flags beforehand. I noticed she has some slightly oddities which I didn't think much of, but after we got married she became increasingly hostile and demanding about certain things. I'm usually the one to swallow my pride and intiate making peace with her like I just did earlier. Also, we are in a temporary living situation due to U.S. immigration. You get married to someone from another country and if you decide to follow the U.S. immigration rules, then you can expect a wait time of a year and half or more until you and your spouse can live in your U.S. home. Hence why I'm currently living in her country. Not only that but we have a child now and I don't want him being separated from me.

Trying to have honest discussions about our issue never ends well. This is why I i wanted for us to see a counselor together so we could discuss these important issues, but she's doesn't want to do this. So I'll just need to figure out how I can have these discussions with her without it turning into a heated argument

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #229 on:** June 19, 2025, 04:18:25 AM »

Quote from: Änσnymσus on June 19, 2025, 01:55:37 AM

For the sake of your child first and foremost I would endure as peacefully as possible until you get back to your own country then you can put manners on your wife once you are in your own country but until then, lay low and quiet. Pray for the strength to endure. I am a woman so take this advice with a pinch of salt but it is what I would say to my own son if he was in this situation. Also her threats of leaving must be empty as you post that she is afraid that she would be on the streets if anything happened you. However If she lived on her own she may have some financial independence, how much are her own family involved in her life, has she a support network if she did leave, you need to have a realistic evaluation on how strong her threats are for your own peace of mind. I do believe she is bluffing, she may not be bluffing about calling the police on you.
Was this unreasonable behaviour there during her 9 months of pregnancy or did it suddenly explode after the baby was born? If it was only minor beforehand and it escalated way out of proportion after the baby was born then it is certainly a mental health issue tied into hormones and you can ignore previous advice and focus on getting her back to health. Just my two cents worth but you have my full sympathy and prayers.

Yes, this is basically what I've been trying to do. Lay low and try and keep the peace. It's not easy. Once we get back to America then I will turn the tables on her and make her suffer twice as hard as she made me suffer. Okay that last part was a joke

I would never do that. That would just continue this vicious cycle.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #230 on:** June 19, 2025, 12:07:48 PM »

When a spouse acts like a child, do you stoop to their level and get even with them to teach them a lesson? Do you let it go? If you let it go and they continue repeat the same behavior, shouldn't you have taught them their lesson then?

This adult child wants to create a great anger in me. The same adult child accuses me of being malicious, yet they just project over and over again their wickedness. When will it end? How much can a human being put up with? When is it time to call it quits??? I don't have much more patience left.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #231 on:** June 19, 2025, 12:19:30 PM »

Quote from: Änσnymσus on June 19, 2025, 12:07:48 PM

When a spouse acts like a child, do you stoop to their level and get even with them to teach them a lesson? Do you let it go? If you let it go and they continue repeat the same behavior, shouldn't you have taught them their lesson then?

This adult child wants to create a great anger in me. The same adult child accuses me of being malicious, yet they just project over and over again their wickedness. When will it end? How much can a human being put up with? When is it time to call it quits??? I don't have much more patience left.

At this point I can’t decide who is the bigger child, her or you.

Im leaning towards this is all made up and you’re trolling.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #232 on:** June 19, 2025, 12:29:52 PM »

Quote from: Änσnymσus on June 19, 2025, 12:19:30 PM

At this point I can’t decide who is the bigger child, her or you.

Im leaning towards this is all made up and you’re trolling.

you have no clue troll boy

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #233 on:** June 19, 2025, 12:52:48 PM »

i think im just about done

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #234 on:** June 19, 2025, 12:56:17 PM »

Quote from: Änσnymσus on June 19, 2025, 12:19:30 PM

At this point I can’t decide who is the bigger child, her or you.

Im leaning towards this is all made up and you’re trolling.

You sound like you're not married or your wife wears the pants. I'm tired of this Reddit-like advice saying it's the man's fault. You seriously think this is made-up? Well you have your head in the sand if you don't think this is happening in many marriages right now.

Gray2023 · « **Reply #235 on:** June 19, 2025, 04:24:22 PM »

Quote from: Änσnymσus on June 19, 2025, 12:56:17 PM

You sound like you're not married or your wife wears the pants. I'm tired of this Reddit-like advice saying it's the man's fault. You seriously think this is made-up? Well you have your head in the sand if you don't think this is happening in many marriages right now.

OP, is every post that sounds like you, you? Sometimes you sound understanding and sane and sometimes you sound whiny? I guess this is why we can't really give you sound advice.

Prayers for you.

Are all her traditional Catholic friends just like her?

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #236 on:** June 19, 2025, 06:17:14 PM »

Quote from: Gray2023 on June 19, 2025, 04:24:22 PM

OP, is every post that sounds like you, you? Sometimes you sound understanding and sane and sometimes you sound whiny? I guess this is why we can't really give you sound advice.

Prayers for you.

Are all her traditional Catholic friends just like her?

That's not me. It's anonymous and you also sound like the reddit guy.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #237 on:** June 19, 2025, 06:24:17 PM »

Quote from: Änσnymσus on June 19, 2025, 06:17:14 PM

That's not me. It's anonymous and you also sound like the reddit guy.

I have know idea what you are trying to say.

Minnesota · « **Reply #238 on:** June 19, 2025, 07:28:13 PM »

Quote from: Gray2023 on June 19, 2025, 04:24:22 PM

OP, is every post that sounds like you, you? Sometimes you sound understanding and sane and sometimes you sound whiny? I guess this is why we can't really give you sound advice.

Prayers for you.

Are all her traditional Catholic friends just like her?

Honestly, I have doubts that this is a real person. It could be. But something is off.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #239 on:** June 19, 2025, 07:47:00 PM »

Quote from: Änσnymσus on June 19, 2025, 06:17:14 PM

That's not me. It's anonymous and you also sound like the reddit guy.

Gray is very feminist.

Author Topic: Wife defrosts meat on the floor (Read 8778 times)

Änσnymσus

Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor

MaterDominici

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Änσnymσus

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Änσnymσus

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Änσnymσus

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Änσnymσus

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Änσnymσus

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Änσnymσus

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Änσnymσus

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Änσnymσus

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Gray2023

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Änσnymσus

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Änσnymσus

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Minnesota

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Änσnymσus

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