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Author Topic: Wife defrosts meat on the floor  (Read 6626 times)

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Offline Mithrandylan

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Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
« Reply #90 on: June 11, 2025, 03:16:42 PM »
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    • Quote from: Änσnymσus on June 11, 2025, 03:05:56 PM
    I don't agree with the disparaging remarks, but correct, we don't live in era where you can force women to obey you. Women today have all these "equal" rights.

    She does not have a secular background. She is not a feminist.

    "Navigating it correctly and effectively has almost nothing to do with your God given authority, but much more to do with your ability to manage a relationship, to inspire others trust, to reward proper behavior, and so forth."

    It has everything to do with God's given authority to men. Without God's authority, men cannot lead.

    What comes to mind is Thy will be done. It came from God and God wills this. It is only temporary. You are right we are still newly weds. This is all new. The pregnancy. The child. It's all a gift from God. We don't please God by choosing what we would like to tolerate. We please God by tolerating what he has chosen for us.
    .
    Every husband in human history has had authority over his wife, given him by God, but not every husband has been in a happy marriage.  So clearly and plainly the having of authority, although necessary, is not at all sufficient for a happy marriage.  If it was then there would be no unhappy marriages and you would not be in the situation you are in now.




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    "Be kind; do not seek the malicious satisfaction of having discovered an additional enemy to the Church... And, above all, be scrupulously truthful. To all, friends and foes alike, give that serious attention which does not misrepresent any opinion, does not distort any statement, does not mutilate any quotation. We need not fear to serve the cause of Christ less efficiently by putting on His spirit". (Vermeersch, 1913).

    Online Gray2023

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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #91 on: June 11, 2025, 03:25:02 PM »
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    • Quote from: Änσnymσus on June 11, 2025, 03:11:05 PM
    I know and I didn't really want to talk about it here even if it is anonymous. However, just from talking about these bad points I realize that it isn't so bad after all from listening to everyone else. It just good to talk about it. It's hard to keep that stuff bottled up for sanity reasons.
    Yes. We need a place to talk about these things for sanity purposes.  It is hard to be little islands all over the place.
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    1 Corinthians: Chapter 13 "4 Charity is patient, is kind: charity envieth not, dealeth not perversely; is not puffed up; 5 Is not ambitious, seeketh not her own, is not provoked to anger, thinketh no evil;"

    Offline FourteenWords

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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #92 on: June 11, 2025, 04:00:24 PM »
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    • Quote from: Änσnymσus on June 11, 2025, 05:19:26 AM
    sink is currently empty. She believes the sink will become contaminated with dirt if she puts anything in there from outside. For example, fruits and vegetables just bought from store she washes in the restroom sink.
    So she would rather have bathroom germs cross-contaminate the fruits and vegetables? :facepalm: Not logical.
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #93 on: June 11, 2025, 04:08:41 PM »
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    • Quote from: Mithrandylan on June 11, 2025, 03:16:42 PM
    .
    Every husband in human history has had authority over his wife, given him by God, but not every husband has been in a happy marriage.  So clearly and plainly the having of authority, although necessary, is not at all sufficient for a happy marriage.  If it was then there would be no unhappy marriages and you would not be in the situation you are in now.
    I figured you meant that, but the way it was written seemed to be inspired by self determination and not by God.
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #94 on: June 11, 2025, 04:20:08 PM »
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    • Threatening with separation over defrosting meat on the floor thing seems like a symptom of a much bigger problem. I would not focus on whether or not the meat thing is rational or some cultural difference, or a newlywed issue, feminism etc. Instead I would look into the root cause. Maybe she has some regrets about being married, perhaps post partum depression that is affecting her mental health. I'm not a marriage expert, just a man that has been learning to be a better husband to my wife.
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #95 on: June 11, 2025, 04:28:55 PM »
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    • Quote from: FarmerWife on June 11, 2025, 12:32:04 PM
    You need to put your foot down with her. She thinks she can be manipulative and there won’t be consequences.
    Yes, but what can be used as a consequence? She is an adult.
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #96 on: June 11, 2025, 04:30:01 PM »
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    • Quote from: Änσnymσus on June 11, 2025, 04:20:08 PM
    Threatening with separation over defrosting meat on the floor thing seems like a symptom of a much bigger problem. I would not focus on whether or not the meat thing is rational or some cultural difference, or a newlywed issue, feminism etc. Instead I would look into the root cause. Maybe she has some regrets about being married, perhaps post partum depression that is affecting her mental health. I'm not a marriage expert, just a man that has been learning to be a better husband to my wife.
    it has to do with ocd.
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    Offline songbird

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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #97 on: June 11, 2025, 06:41:02 PM »
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    • Well, when my dishwasher is finished.  I take out the clean dishes and set my frozen meat in its package and on a tray. The heat in the dishwasher thaws meat out.  I use my crockpot.
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #98 on: June 11, 2025, 06:52:28 PM »
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    • Quote from: Änσnymσus on June 11, 2025, 01:56:15 PM
    It sounds like there was a lot he did know (or at least sensed) and he chose to ignore it. Maybe he was in a rush to get married.
    No. I saw some red flags, but not enough to justify me not getting married to her. Besides, what's done is done. You can't change that. You find out many things when you begin to live together. It could be worse. i could of married a woman who rejects Catholicism.
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #99 on: June 11, 2025, 07:11:42 PM »
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    • Quote from: Änσnymσus on June 11, 2025, 05:19:26 AM
    sink is currently empty. She believes the sink will become contaminated with dirt if she puts anything in there from outside. For example, fruits and vegetables just bought from store she washes in the restroom sink.
    That's what a sink is for... so you can immediately wash it down the drain to the sewer!!!!!
    If she's so concerned about contamination, after rinsing the sink have bleach and water in a spray bottle handy and disinfect the sink!
    Is she out of her mind taking food into the bathroom?  You're not even supposed to leave a toothbrush out in the open in the bathroom as bacteria from the toilet can float around in the air.  Is she not concerned about contaminating the bathroom sink where you brush your teeth and put the toothpaste tube on the counter?
    As for putting food, packaged or not, on the floor is just plain insane.
    If this is her kind of behavior I wouldn't advise her to threaten a separation as she just might find herself being investigated by children's services and end up with a custody fight on her hands.
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    Offline Miseremini

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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #100 on: June 11, 2025, 07:20:52 PM »
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    • ^^^ is mine.  Forgot to check the box.
    I'm afraid to ask where she bathes the baby.
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    "Let God arise, and let His enemies be scattered: and them that hate Him flee from before His Holy Face"  Psalm 67:2[/b]

    Offline Giovanni Berto

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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #101 on: June 11, 2025, 11:30:32 PM »
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    • Quote from: Änσnymσus on June 11, 2025, 04:30:01 PM
    it has to do with ocd.

    If this is really OCD, you should take it seriously.

    I have been told that I have it, and I admit that I lean a bit to the crazy side. During my teenage years and my early adulthood I've had some difficulties. I have never taken medication, so, if I do have it, I am not one of the the worst cases out there, but I know that this kind of thing can make life very difficult. 

    If she is a mother, it can seriously affect the children if it is a serious case.

    Research it and look for professional help if you think that it is necessary. Don't wait until you both go crazy because of it. 
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #102 on: June 12, 2025, 04:27:37 AM »
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    • Quote from: Giovanni Berto on June 11, 2025, 11:30:32 PM
    If this is really OCD, you should take it seriously.

    I have been told that I have it, and I admit that I lean a bit to the crazy side. During my teenage years and my early adulthood I've had some difficulties. I have never taken medication, so, if I do have it, I am not one of the the worst cases out there, but I know that this kind of thing can make life very difficult.

    If she is a mother, it can seriously affect the children if it is a serious case.

    Research it and look for professional help if you think that it is necessary. Don't wait until you both go crazy because of it.
    I'm not sure what else it would be. I have mild ocd with things like washing hands. If we have guest or her relatives over, the rules are not strictly enforced on them. I know it's something psychological because it just too extreme. You might as well become the bubble boy with this logic about outside and inside.
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #103 on: June 12, 2025, 05:09:33 AM »
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    • I can see by a brief scroll through that this thread is :jester:!
    FYI, in the future I will thaw hotdogs under my armpits, the buns in a bag under my chin, and warm the sauerkraut or onions in my bosom.  
    I’ll squeeze the lemons with my bare feet, strain the seeds, rinds, and large pulp through the patio door. I’ll add water from the outdoor watering can, sugar, ice, and a teaspoon of baking soda into the washtub and mix it with my feet. 
    If your last name begins with A-G, bring a vegetable, pasta, salad, or egg side dish.
    If your last name begins with H-N, bring munchies like nuts, dried fruit, chips, crackers, etc.
    If your last name begins with O-Z, bring a dessert.
    All foods are to be prepared in an unusual manner.
    Those desiring alcoholic beverages or anything other than lemonade or water, BYOB. 
    Set up is at 5:45, Rosary at 6:00, dinner at 6:30.
    All manner of trads are welcome, just no fighting. 
    B there or B ◼️!  
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Wife defrosts meat on the floor
    « Reply #104 on: June 12, 2025, 06:01:14 AM »
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    • Quote from: Änσnymσus on June 11, 2025, 01:23:08 PM
    I brought up talking to a priest together and she refused saying that he wouldn't know anything about marriage... She said if we were to get counseling it would have to be a woman...
    OP, this is definitely unfortunate, but I think the main issue is her OCD.  Therefore, I think she first needs to get professional counseling for that alone.  Perhaps with someone who specializes in it.  I think that if she got help with this, any marital issues would improve.  One step at a time. 

    Btw, I think you have been quite the sport in this thread.  God Bless you.
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