I can see how anybody, male of female, could be really hurt by this. While it's true that spouses must be very patient and bear with one another's faults, nobody needs to put up with being called by the name of a former partner. If it happened once by accident, that could be brushed off. It happens consistently, you need not feel bad for getting angry about it. You can tell your husband [wife] that you do NOT like that and will not stand for it, that they need to be more courteous when they talk to you.
For the record I am unmarried, so I don't have any direct experience with marriage. But speaking from my nature as a man, I would generally prefer not to use first names at all within the context of a marriage. I think that when spouses address one another privately, they ought to use terms of endearment that not only reinforce the bond between them but also express the nature of the sacrament of marriage.
My personal preference: I think a wife should simply call her husband "husband." It confirms him in his role as the head of the household. It is truthful, respectful, kind, and it acknowledges his superiority but also his obligation to care for her and the children. I would be flattered if a woman called me that. In turn, I would call my wife something similarly simple and gentle like "my love," which for my part confirms her in her belief that she is the object of my never ending affection and concern, the way that Christ loves the Church.
I should also emphasize the importance of keeping oneself chaste before marriage, as these situations would be far less likely to arise. But even if one has had an unchristian past, that does not excuse the spouses from the exclusive loyalty they must have for one another within the marriage bond. It just means they will have to work harder for it now; but work they must, for this is their vocation and their path to heaven. Their eternal destiny will depend on how well they fulfilled the obligations of marriage.
So patience is required but perfection is still the goal. It's okay to get mad once in awhile if that's what it takes to overcome an obstacle.