It's better and recommended to pray prayers of the church, anyway.

Stop worrying and start planning.!!!!  There are things you can do to supply for the lack of a priest on your deathbed.
 
From the Father Lasance Blessed Sacrament book
"Plenary Indulgence in Articulo Mortis
To all who ,with sincere love towards God, after confession and communion, made on any day they choose, say the following prayer:
 
O Lord my God, I now at this moment, readily and willingly accept at Thy hand whatever kind of death it  may please Thee to send me, with all its pains, penalties, and sorrows.
                                                                                             PiusX, March 9 1904 "
 
You can offer this same communion as your Viaticuм, ( no special prayer required, make your own intention)which means you won't derive any graces from your communion until you are on your deathbed.
 
I can't understand why everyone hasn't prepared for this possibility when holy Mother Church has given us so many remedies.

I always get repetitive, intrusive, blasphemous thoughts that won't stop when praying those prayers too. Sometimes it will be dozens of times in a minute. Even at my best my prayers are unfocused and probably worthless because I am not thinking about the right things at the right moment during those prayers, even at my best... I always wonder if I was just born as a warning to other people.

I have very few friends who are Catholic since Traditional people are so dispersed.  The people I am friends with (invite to dinner) are non Catholics with zero interest in religion or in some cases interested but see the Church in Rome as a completely corrupt and scandalous institution.

Back in March I approached a chap at church, SSPX in England, and invited him to let me know a suitable weekend to have a picnic on the beach one day after church.  Just email or SMS me.  We have similar numbers and ages of children and are the largest two families in the pews at this Church.  Entire spring and summer has past but zero response from him despite 1 further nudge in June.

Far too many people are suspicious, unfriendly and frankly antisocial.  I have been going to the SSPX since childhood.  He for 2 years.   There's zero reason to think I am a weirdo.

He says hello after Mass but appears to have no interest in socialising with fellow Catholics.  Who his daughters are going to marry I have no idea.

I wasn't inviting him to dinner at my home, simply for a picnic at a beach 5 mind drive from the Church where 4 parents can chat share food and children can throw stones into the sea and paddle.

I am outgoing and socialable.  My best (only) SSPX friend moved to Portugal with his family.   I find the Trad life very lonely when it comes to simply having friends who share your views.  Luckily for me I have brothers and sisters, nieces, nephews and cousins.