I know you mean well, but therapy is a terrible suggestion. Hear me out.
Therapy is extremely fatiguing for both client and therapist. These problems are not easy to solve, and sometimes impossible with certain approaches.
First of all, therapists are not traditional Catholic, and therefore introduce errors and heresies in their advice. This is particularly dangerous when trying to heal from sɛҳuąƖ abuse, because of how corrupted the marital act has become in the minds of all today, generally speaking. Protestants may take a puritan approach, or a too "lovey-dovey" approach like the Novus Ordo Theology of the Body. The latter is more common, and is equally damaging.
Therapy involves the constant rehashing of memories, and consequently the renewal of feelings associated with them, and so on. To expect a vulnerable person such as one who has experienced sɛҳuąƖ trauma to be able to sift through the errors of the counsellor while being re-traumatized by all the memories from talking about them is cruel, and tortuous for them. It also involves impurity and can be a source of scruples.
As someone who was sɛҳuąƖly abused by my father, no one, absolutely NO ONE understands the depths to which this affects a person, unless they themselves have endured it.
I have been told by traditional Catholic priests to just forget about it, that I am not traumatized, that I am fine, etc. They have no clue how to handle it. There were always people who had experienced this kind of abuse in the history of the world, and they were able to overcome it not by therapy, but by the grace of God through prayer and frequenting the sacraments.
St. Maria Goretti was murdered because she wouldn't accept the corrupt advances of a young man. She triumphed over his impurity by her chastity. Wounds are healed by the practice of virtue.
St. Agatha, virgin and martyr, had her breasts cut off by her tormentor. She was healed by St. Peter and did not fear to face her torturer once again, showing him that her breasts were healed by the good God miraculously. Because of the shame, modern women would have hid themselves. Not so St. Agatha. The fortitude that God endowed her soul with gave her the strength to overcome the natural shame she would have felt from having been stripped naked in front of everyone, and having her breasts severed off of her. She did not walk away traumatized, by triumphed through virtue.
Pope Leo XIII ordered that the theology and philosophy of St. Thomas Aquinas be re-instituted in the seminaries, and not many listened to him unfortunately. This would include St. Thomas's psychology (which is in the Summa), and would equip priests to properly deal with their penitents who have suffered from sɛҳuąƖ abuse, and other kinds.
When one has been sɛҳuąƖly abused by a father figure, such as their biological father or their priest, it messes up their view of fatherhood. One associates fatherhood with this strange feeling of dishonour and guilt, and something to be feared. God begins to be viewed in this light, because He is the ultimate Father. How can one understand God as a father when the only fathers they have known have been evil? To abuse someone sɛҳuąƖly is to dishonour them, and it is especially a violation of honour when done by a father. The guilt arises from something that is supposed to be intimate and pleasurable with someone who loves you and in the context of marriage, becoming a source of torment and confusion.
The guilt can also arise from feeling involuntary pleasure on account of the stimulation of certain faculties, even against one's will that will happen when sɛҳuąƖly abused. This creates a lot of confusion and shame, and can be conducive to scrupulosity, where one feels they have sinned merely from the feeling of guilt. One may end up thinking that sin consists in feeling shameful rather than willfully choosing to do something evil. It also feels like one never had a chance to be pure or a virgin.
Due to the fact that we are all brought into this world through procreation, being sɛҳuąƖly abused also attacks the very existence of a person, because they begin to associate the creation of life with something horrific and terrifying. That is why a lot of these poor victims commit ѕυιcιdє or become chronically depressed.
One's view of the marital act becomes corrupted as well. Those who have been sɛҳuąƖly abused either become excessively preoccupied with impure things, or regard it with such horror as to almost begin to believe that the marriage act is something to be abhorred and to flee from.
The way that all of this is healed is by daily meditation on the eternal truths that sɛҳuąƖ abuse attacks, and praying the Rosary so that our Blessed Mother may obtain healing.
One must educate themselves on the Catholic understanding of the marriage act, fatherhood, read examples in the lives of the saints about what a true father is, to learn what a true father should be in practice. One may also pray to holy men that were fathers like St. Joseph and St. Louis IX. One must meditate and read about the Divine Providence of God, to see Him in all the things that happen to us, to see the goodness that can be brought out of it. It is also healing to read about the high chastity of priests such as St. Alphonsus Liguori, St. Francis de Sales, St. John Mary Vianney, so that one may realize not all priests are corrupt like this. That here are men who led innocent lives, doing harm to no one, and on the contrary, treasuring those under their charge.
One needs to separate what these men did from who God is, by meditating on the divine perfections of God; His infinite love, justice, goodness, truth, mercy. One must consider profoundly that in the Passion of Our Lord, He suffered similar things, and one may find consolation in identifying with the sorrow He felt, the shame He felt, and deep pain He felt in being scourged naked, betrayed, kissed by Judas, and so on. Until this begins to be done, even the sight of the cassock can be too frightening.
One must meditate on the sacredness of a human body on account of its potential to be the house of God by being in the state of grace, or by actually being in a state of grace. To develop a reverence for one's body, made in the image and likeness of God. To not allow oneself to be defined by what happened to them. To not believe the lie that purity has been lost because someone sought to take it away. As St. Augustine taught, virginity is in the will, and if something impure happens to the body, virginity is not lost so long as the will does not consent. This is so important for the sɛҳuąƖly abused to understand, because they often despair after being violated, thinking they are damaged goods, and that they may as well enjoy themselves through fornication and other impure sins, since they think innocence has forever been lost.
Confession can bring back bad memories of feeling too alone with a priest or a father figure due to the secrecy of the confessional, and since confession is a place of vulnerability where one has to explain the most shameful parts of their souls, this too can bring far too much grief and overwhelm the penitent, potentially causing a deeper trauma. The dishonour of being nude and taken advantage can create the same feelings of shame and exposure as does exposing the intimate parts of one's soul in the sacrament of penance. God will patiently wait for this person to be able to find the right priest to make their confession with, and to have the peace of soul and tranquility of mind required to make a good confession.
There is a far more effective therapy called Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART). Nothing needs to be said between client and therapist. The therapist works on the eye movements of the client, which has an intimate connection with the imagination, emotion and memories. It builds on the science of the rapid eye movement (REM) process that happens during sleep. It is difficult to explain, one may see it described here: https://acceleratedresolutiontherapy.com/what-is-art/
It may seem silly at first, but it is actually healing people and is scientifically proven to work. It gets rid of vivid memories that reside in the imagination and that constantly resurface throughout the days or weeks, depending on different events, people or things that trigger it. It only takes a view sessions or sometimes even only an hour. After the therapy, one knows what happened to them, but their brain can no longer access the images and emotions associated with those memories. It has done wonders for people who have been through all kinds of trauma.
The founder of this therapy gives a great talk on the matter, and gives film footage of her implementing this approach with her clients, showing how quickly their mental state changes even during the session.
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