If I refuse him the debt things would become unbearable between us. He would be mean, and angry. I don’t know if that’s a solution, but I will consider it. 


I guess from the answers until he reverses it there will be no closeness like there was between us. It’s something I suppose I already know. But then I wonder if he goes to confession would he still need to have it reversed? Because I read somewhere there was less chance of it being able to reattach successfully after being detached for so long. 

If I refuse him the debt things would become unbearable between us. He would be mean, and angry. I don’t know if that’s a solution, but I will consider it.


I guess from the answers until he reverses it there will be no closeness like there was between us. It’s something I suppose I already know. But then I wonder if he goes to confession would he still need to have it reversed? Because I read somewhere there was less chance of it being able to reattach successfully after being detached for so long.

He would need to TRY to get it reversed.  But, if it failed despite best efforts, then he could not be asked to do anything more.

You come across as a very kind-hearted person, OP.  You forgave his sins ... the porn and talking with his ex.  You obviously still love him.

Now, if I were your father or brother, I'd threaten this guy with a beat-down unless he treated you as you deserve and have a right to be treated.

At this point, perhaps all you can do is to offer up your own sufferings for his conversion.

I don’t want to loose my marriage because I think that would be another victory for Satan. I won’t let him keep my husband... We will both belong to God, and our babies.

Perhaps you could tell him that you're offering all the suffering HE is causing you for his soul.  Only the most barbaric animal would not be moved by that.

I guess you could say pretty faces are for difficult men! It is funny how much we look for simple validation up front and how quickly it evaporates the moment things get tough. You are fighting a noble fight, just keep baring your heart everyday to God and you will prevail... maybe not the way you presently expect, but at least concerning the final things. 

Sometimes, even when you've heard the best advice out there, the best shoulder to cry on, the pain will still get you all alone and all you can do is throw yourself in the arms of the Holy Family. If you don't have a home shrine or altar, maybe it's time to put that together so when the pain sneaks up on you again, at least there's some place to go and something holy to look at without leaving the house. Get some large devotional statues, set some space aside, make it as baby-proof as possible. If your husband is so big about spoiling you, maybe he can start with helping you on that project.

God be with you and your family!

Awesome! Post a pic when it's finished if you can!

thank you all for the support. I must admit I feel calmer now that I’ve talked about it. I will be slowly working on talking to him, and when the moment is right I will tell him how heavy this weighs on me.