Send CathInfo's owner Matthew a gift from his Amazon wish list:
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/25M2B8RERL1UO

Author Topic: Unsure what to do  (Read 3557 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Änσnymσus

  • Guest
Re: Unsure what to do
« Reply #30 on: Yesterday at 07:13:26 AM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • Don't even think about it until you are ready for a courtship-to-marriage scenario that's objectively a possibility.
    I find it impossible not to think about her as I love her.

    Offline Everlast22

    • Supporter
    • ***
    • Posts: 819
    • Reputation: +715/-199
    • Gender: Male
    Re: Unsure what to do
    « Reply #31 on: Yesterday at 07:21:09 AM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • I find it impossible not to think about her as I love her.
    What advice did your parents give you?


    Offline WorldsAway

    • Jr. Member
    • **
    • Posts: 489
    • Reputation: +421/-50
    • Gender: Male
    Re: Unsure what to do
    « Reply #32 on: Yesterday at 07:28:12 AM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • I know rationally this is the best option but I have been emotional lately and attacked very bad thoughts, both in despair and depression.

    I really do love this girl and would be very upset if she forgot about me or found someone else, yet I know there isn't much I can actually do in this situation. This is very frustrating because as a man I like to feel in control or have a guarantee. If she really likes me she would wait to see me again wouldn't she?
     
    I also don't to cause scandal by going near the indult (they don't have valid orders) or seeing a girl for a relationship when I'm not financially ready.

    Frankly I'm worried this girl will go to hell when she died because the indult has no valid orders, meaning her confessions are not absolved, her communions aren't real, and her mass is but an imitation. I want to help her save her soul.
    The best you can do is pray for her, which I'm sure you already do. May Our Lady pray and intercede for her that she may come to realize the dangers of the indult, live a holy life and die a happy death. Unfortunately many of us young men will have to wait until we are not-so-young men to be financially secure enough for marriage. Prayers for you to, we are in the same boat..may we surrender to God's will in all things :pray:
    John 15:19  If you had been of the world, the world would love its own: but because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.

    Änσnymσus

    • Guest
    Re: Unsure what to do
    « Reply #33 on: Yesterday at 07:54:34 AM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • What advice did your parents give you?
    I have not the best communication with my parents, and frankly they have given me bad advice in the past. 

    Änσnymσus

    • Guest
    Re: Unsure what to do
    « Reply #34 on: Yesterday at 09:23:21 AM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • If you don’t mind me asking, how many hours a week are you working? Any way you can increase your hours/get a second job? Many husbands work 60+ hours a week to support their families. Being single is the best time to get ahead by working like crazy. Once you have a family you will be crunched for time always. 


    Änσnymσus

    • Guest
    Re: Unsure what to do
    « Reply #35 on: Yesterday at 09:46:59 AM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • Don't forget OP runs the risk of being attacked as a pedo just for taking with teenage girls. I've spoken with men in their mid/late 20s and they are all brainwashed.

    The usual
    "Anything past 18 is game"
    "Young girls are immature"

    Even if you suggest no degeneracy or no sinful behaviour they still don't get it. Even bringing up woman's peak fertility doesn't work on normies.

    So yeah if OP goes on a date with a young teenage girl they is a real risk of busy bodies doing evil things due to judaeo-feminist propaganda.
    You are the reason I had both my sons and daughters read through your posts.
    An example to my boys on who not to become and to my girls on who not to consider for marriage.

    Änσnymσus

    • Guest
    Re: Unsure what to do
    « Reply #36 on: Yesterday at 09:55:53 AM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  •  Many husbands work 60+ hours a week to support their families. 

    I never understood this. Are they working minimum wage? Are their wives spending too much? Shooting for a middle class lifestyle?

    Offline Everlast22

    • Supporter
    • ***
    • Posts: 819
    • Reputation: +715/-199
    • Gender: Male
    Re: Unsure what to do
    « Reply #37 on: Yesterday at 10:23:11 AM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • I'm gonna be very honest.


    Änσnymσus

    • Guest
    Re: Unsure what to do
    « Reply #38 on: Yesterday at 10:31:26 AM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • I'm gonna be very honest.

    It is currently not looking good at all for any guys making under.. 100k to support a family. and that's if you're in a non-expensive state.. Unless you come from straight money, you are not going to be ready until you have a nest egg, and absolutely no debt.. so, probably, 28-30 years old
    (and I'm not talking about keeping up with the Jones's salaries) 

    The expenses have SHOT UP AN UNGODLY amount worthy of straight up war in the last 2.5 years.

    I am so livid thinking about how they are at war with us, and we can't really do anything about it. It makes my blood boil. And we ALLLL KNOWWW who is behind it all...

    The places that are in within range for living expenses are in areas not even remotely close to most Churches/Jobs.



    Offline Gray2023

    • Supporter
    • ****
    • Posts: 2643
    • Reputation: +1514/-855
    • Gender: Female
    Re: Unsure what to do
    « Reply #39 on: Yesterday at 11:50:58 AM »
  • Thanks!2
  • No Thanks!0
  • I find it impossible not to think about her as I love her.
    I am not sure you can call it love.  I think you love the idea of her and you think she is very pretty.  I think you also think she has paid you attention, so you think she is returning your feelings.  From other posts, I have deduced that you have only talked to her in person a couple of times.  

    I know times are tough.  I know that it is hard to buy a house and have everything set in place.

    If you really do think that God is telling you that this is the girl, then you need to up your game.  You need to get a second job.  You need to spend less time worrying and being on the internet.

    I am sorry to be so blunt.
    1 Corinthians: Chapter 13 "4 Charity is patient, is kind: charity envieth not, dealeth not perversely; is not puffed up; 5 Is not ambitious, seeketh not her own, is not provoked to anger, thinketh no evil;"

    Änσnymσus

    • Guest
    Re: Unsure what to do
    « Reply #40 on: Yesterday at 01:03:50 PM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • I know rationally this is the best option but I have been emotional lately and attacked very bad thoughts, both in despair and depression.

    I really do love this girl and would be very upset if she forgot about me or found someone else, yet I know there isn't much I can actually do in this situation. This is very frustrating because as a man I like to feel in control or have a guarantee. If she really likes me she would wait to see me again wouldn't she?
     
    I also don't to cause scandal by going near the indult (they don't have valid orders) or seeing a girl for a relationship when I'm not financially ready.

    Frankly I'm worried this girl will go to hell when she died because the indult has no valid orders, meaning her confessions are not absolved, her communions aren't real, and her mass is but an imitation. I want to help her save her soul.
    Some things, in no particular order, come to mind:

    Do you actually love her or do you love being in love? It's not always easy to tell the difference when you're going through it. 

    I know some will disagree and label it as "imprudent", but almost all of the couples that I know that have stayed married long term (talking 50+ years) started out with both being relatively poor. When asked, universally they agree that having both start with nothing was a boon to their relationship because they built their lives together. Everything they have is theirs together, there's no room for resentment where one feels like they've sacrificed more than the other.

    I'm pretty sure none of us would exist if not for, at some point in our ancestry, our forebears being "imprudent".  

    If the response is going to be something like, "well times are different, it's much harder now!", I reply with Sacred Scripture, " 8 All things are hard: man cannot explain them by word. The eye is not filled with seeing, neither is the ear filled with hearing.  9 What is it that hath been? the same thing that shall be. What is it that hath been done? the same that shall be done.  10 Nothing under the sun is new, neither is any man able to say: Behold this is new: for it hath already gone before in the ages that were before us."

    I know it's difficult. You're not alone. I know there's an overwhelming number of reasons action and progress seems impossible, but it's really not.

    I'm seeing more and more clearly for myself how important it is to shut it off and LIVE my life. I'm fasting all this week, if you're able, please join in. It does wonders for the body and the soul.




    Offline Gray2023

    • Supporter
    • ****
    • Posts: 2643
    • Reputation: +1514/-855
    • Gender: Female
    Re: Unsure what to do
    « Reply #41 on: Yesterday at 01:51:24 PM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • Some things, in no particular order, come to mind:

    Do you actually love her or do you love being in love? It's not always easy to tell the difference when you're going through it.

    I know some will disagree and label it as "imprudent", but almost all of the couples that I know that have stayed married long term (talking 50+ years) started out with both being relatively poor. When asked, universally they agree that having both start with nothing was a boon to their relationship because they built their lives together. Everything they have is theirs together, there's no room for resentment where one feels like they've sacrificed more than the other.

    I'm pretty sure none of us would exist if not for, at some point in our ancestry, our forebears being "imprudent". 

    If the response is going to be something like, "well times are different, it's much harder now!", I reply with Sacred Scripture, " 8 All things are hard: man cannot explain them by word. The eye is not filled with seeing, neither is the ear filled with hearing.  9 What is it that hath been? the same thing that shall be. What is it that hath been done? the same that shall be done.  10 Nothing under the sun is new, neither is any man able to say: Behold this is new: for it hath already gone before in the ages that were before us."

    I know it's difficult. You're not alone. I know there's an overwhelming number of reasons action and progress seems impossible, but it's really not.

    I'm seeing more and more clearly for myself how important it is to shut it off and LIVE my life. I'm fasting all this week, if you're able, please join in. It does wonders for the body and the soul.
    THIS^^^
    1 Corinthians: Chapter 13 "4 Charity is patient, is kind: charity envieth not, dealeth not perversely; is not puffed up; 5 Is not ambitious, seeketh not her own, is not provoked to anger, thinketh no evil;"

    Änσnymσus

    • Guest
    Re: Unsure what to do
    « Reply #42 on: Yesterday at 04:49:57 PM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • I'm gonna be very honest.

    It is currently not looking good at all for any guys making under.. 100k to support a family. and that's if you're in a non-expensive state.. Unless you come from straight money, you are not going to be ready until you have a nest egg, and absolutely no debt.. so, probably, 28-30 years old
    (and I'm not talking about keeping up with the Jones's salaries)

    The expenses have SHOT UP AN UNGODLY amount worthy of straight up war in the last 2.5 years.

    I am so livid thinking about how they are at war with us, and we can't really do anything about it. It makes my blood boil. And we ALLLL KNOWWW who is behind it all...

    The places that are in within range for living expenses are in areas not even remotely close to most Churches/Jobs.
    80% of Americans make under 100k per year...

    Änσnymσus

    • Guest
    Re: Unsure what to do
    « Reply #43 on: Yesterday at 04:51:17 PM »
  • Thanks!0
  • No Thanks!0
  • You are the reason I had both my sons and daughters read through your posts.
    An example to my boys on who not to become and to my girls on who not to consider for marriage.
    Not sure what you mean by that, secular people are very brainwashed by feminism. They consider that soon as a girl is 18 she can do whatever she wants but before that it's not ok because the 'law' (which isn't even a law).

    Offline Gray2023

    • Supporter
    • ****
    • Posts: 2643
    • Reputation: +1514/-855
    • Gender: Female
    Re: Unsure what to do
    « Reply #44 on: Yesterday at 05:45:50 PM »
  • Thanks!2
  • No Thanks!0
  • You are the reason I had both my sons and daughters read through your posts.
    An example to my boys on who not to become and to my girls on who not to consider for marriage.

    Do you think there is a misunderstanding somewhere?

    The OP just sounds like a man who has a lot of thoughts weighing on his shoulder when it comes to his future.  And the cards really seem to be stacked against a traditional Catholic white male. 

    The posts are anonymous, so you don't really know who is saying what.

    If the OP does not have family to teach him the Catholic way, then he has to come to CI or other places on the internet.  Why do people see the worst in people all the time?  Do we not trust God anymore?  Do we not trust our Guardian Angels?  Do we not trust the Sacraments?  Has the media fed us a bill of goods that even true Catholics can't seem to rise above?

    Don't you think your comment was a bit presumptive and harsh?  You didn't even specify what exactly you were trying to teach your children.  What exactly in this conversation is so offensive?
    1 Corinthians: Chapter 13 "4 Charity is patient, is kind: charity envieth not, dealeth not perversely; is not puffed up; 5 Is not ambitious, seeketh not her own, is not provoked to anger, thinketh no evil;"