There are two kinds of communities.
In a monogamous society, the leader gets the wife he wants, and he ensures the collaboration of other men by helping to ensure that they too can have wives and families. Typically family has its own territory, in which the man of the house is in charge. Some men are richer, some are poorer, but all have an independent means of livelihood (eg the land the they live on) and they all have a common interest in the system, in each little family keeping order.
In a anarchistic, chaotic, or polygamist society, the leader attempts to have control over as many women as possible. His goal is not the collaboration of the other men, but their subjugation. Many of them will end up irreconcilably opposed to the system, some will end up as outlaws. The hearth and home is not respected. The small independent incomes become mortgaged to usurers. A poor man cannot easily have a dignified family life, because he is either forced into crime or dispossessed.
Now it's true that there has never been a large society that is purely one or purely the other.
However, it's quite clear that there is a war going on against the old system of yeomanry. Just as there were the enclosures, the poor laws, etc. The lower classes see marriage breaking down so that lawless men in those class are the ones who have the women. Feminism is part of this, because in the older system, women had a lot of responsibility (as wives and mothers that's inevitable) that today they don't want.
It is a war, and people have to pick sides. You either support monogamy despite the difficulties of the economic system, or you decide, as the British upper classes did a long time ago, to wage social war against the lower classes. (even starving the Irish, and blaming it on their lack of enterprise)