Author Topic: this sounds sexist? But men dont seem to love-- (Read 1440 times)

Änσnymσus · « **on:** January 10, 2017, 05:06:55 PM »

yeh, sorry if this sounds sexist but i can't help what i feel and what i observe in "my" world

I have been alone for a long time, and have no interest in romance whatsoever.. (except that sometimes.. oh whatever. never mind)

So anyway, yeh, it seems like society sends the message that men are supposed to be macho and cold and hard and not show any emotions and etc... and they seem to generally speaking carry this to extremes

do you agree?

Women are the ones who love and that is u/standable b/c they have children and raise them and etc... But men who do not raise their children.. well, they never really learn unconditional LOVE

women who never have chilren.. you could say the same thing.. again : generally speaking

songbird · « **Reply #1 on:** January 10, 2017, 05:28:42 PM »

Try this experiment, that is if you have not tried it. I don't know how you dress, but, next time you go shopping, like for groceries, were a skirt or dress below the knees and nice top that covers pretty good. Then see if there is a difference in how people may approach you.

I tried this. First I was with comfortable jeans and top. Then I tried the skirt and such and wow, I got a smile from a "gentleman". Then someone said, "You look nice today, and a smile".

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #2 on:** January 10, 2017, 06:44:51 PM »

You will never love anyone till you begin to serve them, and that is a fact.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #3 on:** January 10, 2017, 06:52:27 PM »

It's surprising how quickly a man will change his manners around a woman that inspires him to rise to the occasion. In short, to get a good man, you've got to be a virtuous woman. There are of course men out there whose souls have gone completely rancid and no woman could inspire him, but men in general will be their best to earn the love and respect of a virtuous woman.
Spend your time learning about femininity as the Catholic church has taught through the ages, mediate on the virtues of Our Lady and pray for a good husband.

Croixalist · « **Reply #4 on:** January 10, 2017, 08:37:23 PM »

Quote from: Guest

yeh, sorry if this sounds sexist but i can't help what i feel and what i observe in "my" world

I have been alone for a long time, and have no interest in romance whatsoever.. (except that sometimes.. oh whatever. never mind)

So anyway, yeh, it seems like society sends the message that men are supposed to be macho and cold and hard and not show any emotions and etc... and they seem to generally speaking carry this to extremes

You sound like you're carrying a certain amount of hurt at this point in your life. Although you say you have no interest in romance, you complain about emotionless men! Be thankful that there are guys out there who don't readily give out reassurances, offer friendship too easily, or bask in the glow of female attention. Men are plenty emotional, but it tends to be tied to concrete things (good or bad) like hobbies, career, etc. Chances are no matter what, unless you are unfortunate enough to be extremely physically attractive, you will need to become accustomed to being stonewalled.

It's not that women love more than men, but for all intents and purposes, love is expressed so differently between the two that each sex should steer clear of trying to make "friends" with the other unless there's enough of an age gap to make marriage unthinkable. Women who look for supportive relationships with men who aren't their husbands have to be very honest with themselves about what they're looking for. I don't think you're giving yourself (or men in general) enough space to operate in.

Chances are, you really aren't okay with the lack of "romance". This is a good place to start to really explore the limitations of romantic love. Romance out of it's proper context is a deceptively sweet misunderstanding of the human condition. The unsavory parts, the holy duty men and women have for God is what every one of us has to make palatable somehow.

Quote from: Guest

Women are the ones who love and that is u/standable b/c they have children and raise them and etc... But men who do not raise their children.. well, they never really learn unconditional LOVE

women who never have chilren.. you could say the same thing.. again : generally speaking

If this were true, there'd be no point in holy virginity or vows of chastity! The problem here is you are judging things based off of low human standards. All of us, married or single, the fertile or childless, ought to make our lives resemble priests, monks or nuns. Unconditional love for God is available for all who seek it and is infinitely more tender than any other love between creatures. If the object of the love of our lives is anything less than the one true God and His one true, holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church, then everything else will leave us fatally disappointed.

AMDGJMJ · « **Reply #5 on:** January 11, 2017, 08:24:47 AM »

Quote from: Guest

yeh, sorry if this sounds sexist but i can't help what i feel and what i observe in "my" world

I have been alone for a long time, and have no interest in romance whatsoever.. (except that sometimes.. oh whatever. never mind)

So anyway, yeh, it seems like society sends the message that men are supposed to be macho and cold and hard and not show any emotions and etc... and they seem to generally speaking carry this to extremes

do you agree?

Women are the ones who love and that is u/standable b/c they have children and raise them and etc... But men who do not raise their children.. well, they never really learn unconditional LOVE

women who never have chilren.. you could say the same thing.. again : generally speaking

I think that Saint Paul's words in the Bible about marriage clarifies this matter to a large extent... "Wives obey your husbands...Husbands love your wives."

I believe that Saint Paul realized that the hardest thing for women in marriage is to obey their husbands in all things, and that the hardest thing is for husband to love their wives as Christ loves the Church.

The best wives are those who have complete respect for their husbands commands and never stand up against his wishes except for a matter against conscience.

The best husbands are those who love their wives no matter what her looks are. He will be there for her to help her when she is tired, and is considerate and thoughtful for her at all times.

Living as such is easier said than done, and requires a certain amount of self-sacrifice. Yet, it is certainly possible, especially if one has the True Faith to back them up.

There are good men and women out there. Granted, society does not support them, but God does. We can not change others, but we can only change ourselves so that our very presence among others will lead them to God.

Keep fighting the good fight and don't be too distressed!

God bless!

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #6 on:** January 13, 2017, 03:18:40 PM »

Quote from: songbird

Try this experiment, that is if you have not tried it. I don't know how you dress, but, next time you go shopping, like for groceries, were a skirt or dress below the knees and nice top that covers pretty good. Then see if there is a difference in how people may approach you.

I tried this. First I was with comfortable jeans and top. Then I tried the skirt and such and wow, I got a smile from a "gentleman". Then someone said, "You look nice today, and a smile".

so women should give in to men's vanity?

well, i say that If a man doesn't "like" a woman when she is NOT well dressed, why should a woman care about his opinion of her when she is well dressed? I thought we were called by Jesus to love others as we love ourselves? sorry, but unless there is a touch of sarcasm or facetiousness in your comments, I say this just goes to show the original point, which appears to be: that men do not "groove on 'love'" too much, (meaning real love, Christian love). OP seems to suggest and i concur that men leave this love stuff up to women and women only. That is wrong. Jesus did not say only to women (that we know of anyway) to love everyone

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #7 on:** January 13, 2017, 03:22:54 PM »

Quote from: AMDGJMJ

Quote from: Guest
yeh, sorry if this sounds sexist but i can't help what i feel and what i observe in "my" world

I have been alone for a long time, and have no interest in romance whatsoever.. (except that sometimes.. oh whatever. never mind)

So anyway, yeh, it seems like society sends the message that men are supposed to be macho and cold and hard and not show any emotions and etc... and they seem to generally speaking carry this to extremes

do you agree?

Women are the ones who love and that is u/standable b/c they have children and raise them and etc... But men who do not raise their children.. well, they never really learn unconditional LOVE

women who never have chilren.. you could say the same thing.. again : generally speaking

I think that Saint Paul's words in the Bible about marriage clarifies this matter to a large extent... "Wives obey your husbands...Husbands love your wives."

I believe that Saint Paul realized that the hardest thing for women in marriage is to obey their husbands in all things, and that the hardest thing is for husband to love their wives as Christ loves the Church.

The best wives are those who have complete respect for their husbands commands and never stand up against his wishes except for a matter against conscience.

The best husbands are those who love their wives no matter what her looks are. He will be there for her to help her when she is tired, and is considerate and thoughtful for her at all times.

Living as such is easier said than done, and requires a certain amount of self-sacrifice. Yet, it is certainly possible, especially if one has the True Faith to back them up.

There are good men and women out there. Granted, society does not support them, but God does. We can not change others, but we can only change ourselves so that our very presence among others will lead them to God.

Keep fighting the good fight and don't be too distressed!

God bless!

lovely words.

the most important thing is-as you say here- the part about caring what God thinks over what the worldly world thinks.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #8 on:** January 13, 2017, 03:25:21 PM »

Quote from: Croixalist

[q, Chances are no matter what, unless you are unfortunate enough to be extremely physically attractive, you will need to become accustomed to being stonewalled.
speaking

so love is only for the physically attractive. So much for your definition of love

if one can only love the beautiful-- that person seroiusly needs to look at himself/his values

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #9 on:** January 13, 2017, 03:27:36 PM »

Quote from: Guest

It's surprising how quickly a man will change his manners around a woman that inspires him to rise to the occasion. In short, to get a good man, you've got to be a virtuous woman. There are of course men out there whose souls have gone completely rancid and no woman could inspire him, but men in general will be their best to earn the love and respect of a virtuous woman.
Spend your time learning about femininity as the Catholic church has taught through the ages, mediate on the virtues of Our Lady and pray for a good husband.

from observing the women i have known & their experiences w/ men (or "men"), this is not true. I know of virtuous women who are totally ignored by men you would think are "virtuous" but really are not. You know, socitye today does not value virtue. Society seems to absolutely despise virtue. So i obviously dont live in the same wolrd you do

AMDGJMJ · « **Reply #10 on:** January 14, 2017, 10:24:32 AM »

Quote from: Guest

Quote from: Guest
It's surprising how quickly a man will change his manners around a woman that inspires him to rise to the occasion. In short, to get a good man, you've got to be a virtuous woman. There are of course men out there whose souls have gone completely rancid and no woman could inspire him, but men in general will be their best to earn the love and respect of a virtuous woman.
Spend your time learning about femininity as the Catholic church has taught through the ages, mediate on the virtues of Our Lady and pray for a good husband.

from observing the women i have known & their experiences w/ men (or "men"), this is not true. I know of virtuous women who are totally ignored by men you would think are "virtuous" but really are not. You know, socitye today does not value virtue. Society seems to absolutely despise virtue. So i obviously dont live in the same wolrd you do

A man who is worldly will not necessarily respect a woman who is devout because she reminds him of his error and faults...

Yet, all the same, a pious woman's attire, words, and gentle atmosphere can bring even a pagan man or woman to stand in awe of her.

I have witnesses this in person, and met people who have in similar ways effected me.

nctradcath · « **Reply #11 on:** January 14, 2017, 11:36:48 AM »

As a man, the presence of a truly devout woman in thoughts and actions is almost irresistible. The difference between her and a worldly woman is painfully apparent. I have only been around a few such women in my life. I feel blessed for such moments because it teaches me how women could be if they desired it. It is the smallest echo of the Blessed Virgin Mary. When I meditate on it, I am filled with awe.

Croixalist · « **Reply #12 on:** January 14, 2017, 04:10:47 PM »

Quote from: Guest

Quote from: Croixalist
[q, Chances are no matter what, unless you are unfortunate enough to be extremely physically attractive, you will need to become accustomed to being stonewalled.
speaking

so love is only for the physically attractive. So much for your definition of love

if one can only love the beautiful-- that person seroiusly needs to look at himself/his values

You're confusing surface level social niceties with love.

Beauty will always help you get your foot in the door as far as that goes, but it can become a hindrance to spiritual development. It's kind of like how money and power is for men: they'll always get attention but the wrong kind that leads to one of the 9 circles.

Now if we're talking about traditionalist men, I would expect a higher amount of courtesy though coupled with a much higher dose of emotional restraint. I don't know if you're a new convert, very young, or very embittered, but the world that we know and live in is messed up in so many ways that I would consider "cold" men a blessing rather than a curse. As long as we're not talking about cruel or spiteful, I'd say it's time to move on.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #13 on:** January 14, 2017, 04:25:42 PM »

Quote from: AMDGJMJ

[

Yet, all the same, a pious woman's attire, words, and gentle atmosphere can bring even a pagan man or woman to stand in awe of her.

I have witnesses this in person, and met people who have in similar ways effected me.

again, people do not honor virtue. Many are into lawlessness these days, except that i see also that many are tired of it, otherwise we'd probably have HC for pres. But as it is, she did win an awful lot of votes. So we are back to the.. lawlessness factor

I know or or have heard of people who follow Jesus diligently and all they get is kicked to the curb by this materialistic, hedonistic society that does not want to hear from such people

or

as Jesus said

You will be hated by all

AMDGJMJ · « **Reply #14 on:** January 14, 2017, 08:16:21 PM »

Quote from: nctradcath

As a man, the presence of a truly devout woman in thoughts and actions is almost irresistible. The difference between her and a worldly woman is painfully apparent. I have only been around a few such women in my life. I feel blessed for such moments because it teaches me how women could be if they desired it. It is the smallest echo of the Blessed Virgin Mary. When I meditate on it, I am filled with awe.

I am grateful to have known several devout men and women in my life, and am always very edified by their presence...

If only it was more common...

Author Topic: this sounds sexist? But men dont seem to love-- (Read 1440 times)

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