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Traditional Catholic Faith => Anσnymσus Posts Allowed => Topic started by: Änσnymσus on October 28, 2023, 11:55:46 AM

Title: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Änσnymσus on October 28, 2023, 11:55:46 AM
I am quoting below a letter which was shared with me:

+JMJ+
June 13, 2023
The Feast of St. Anthony within the Octave of Corpus Christi
Dear Catholic Bishops and Priests,
I am very sorry for the generic nature of this letter, but there are so many Catholic clergy, with so many different opinions that I felt I needed to write this letter to all of you without including any of your personal opinions on the current situation of the Catholic Church.
Who am I? I am a mother, whose heart is broken and all of you have broken my heart in some way. I know that seems like an unfair statement. How could you have broken my heart? You don’t even know who I am. You see God gave us His church to keep us happy and safe. The most important thing we teach our children is to know, love, and serve God in this world and to be happy with him forever in Heaven. Men, though, like to be right and have the answers. So they fight, yet they do not realize how that tears women apart and makes them not feel safe. When a woman does not feel safe, she cannot spread joy and happiness.
We need to stop fighting and let God heal His church. This starts with the Our Father.
“Our Father, who art in Heaven hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom
come thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day
our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who
trespass against and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.”
AMEN
We need to really think about those who have trespassed against us and then sincerely forgive them. If you still want to fight them, then you haven’t really forgiven them. We can speak charitably about our differences and realize that we can’t decide on the matter. Only a future Pope can.
I know you will think I am naive, but I just can’t keep a stiff upper lip anymore. I am dying inside and so are many of the women I know and love, too. Once the Devil has succeeded in destroying women’s hearts, then I believe all hell will break loose. We don’t want that. We want Nineveh, converting and being spared, not the death and destruction that Jonah wanted to see.
I forgive all of you, now I hope you forgive each other.
God bless you,
B.G.

Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Matthew on October 28, 2023, 12:59:03 PM
So, there's a Crisis in the Church (involving a crisis of authority, basically striking at the HEART of the Church, its center of unity, the Pope).

Isn't that NECESSARILY going to cause a certain amount of disunity, confusion, differences of opinion what to do, etc.?

And this emotional woman is blaming each-and-every Trad priest out there, regardless of whether they're doing their best or not, because de-facto the confusion hasn't been cleared and the Crisis hasn't been solved. If the Crisis isn't solved by human means and put past us, says this woman, it's the fault of EVERY priest and bishop.

1. I understand the weakness of her female, emotional nature. I understand her frustration. Perhaps her immediate family has "taken damage" as it were due to the confusion/crisis and human infighting which is going to be found anywhere they are human beings, especially without a clear leader. But how about we be FAIR and place the blame where it belongs? How about we blame the Modernists and Freemasons who caused the Crisis in the Church, rather than the +Lefebvres of the world who are only trying to pick up the pieces, trying to keep the Faith, trying to help as many souls as ONE MAN can do?

2. I can't get behind her, however, because you can have saintly priests and bishops doing 100% of what they can do to be holy and help the Church and souls -- all the while UNABLE to solve the Crisis, because that is in God's hands. You can't equate earthly, material success with holiness, a.k.a. doing God's will. God grades on effort, NOT results. He's not an American or a businessman.

And some solutions -- such as solving the Crisis in the Church -- are reserved to God alone. As is evidenced by the DURATION of the current Crisis. What are we on, our 54th year?

3. Yes, she is naive. And she's not the first one in the last 50 years to have an "epiphany" at Church, during prayer, right after receiving Holy Communion along the lines of: "Hey! Why don't we all come together and unite during this Crisis! Wow, I'm a regular Joan of Arc! A regular hero!"

4. I'm not buying what she's selling -- namely, "despair". I feel bad for her that she is at wits end, and in apparent despair, but I will say this: God doesn't expect the impossible, nor will He ever test someone beyond their strength. So perhaps she's being a bit hysterical, dramatic, emotional here. A bit of a drama queen.

5. And yes, related to 1-4, she is clearly proud. She thinks the Trad priests and bishops don't pray the Our Father, and many other prayers (daily Breviary, Rosary, daily mental prayer) as well? She thinks that SHE ALONE has thought of this simplistic "solution"? Disgustingly high on herself. And that pride is against her female nature, like a man being delicate or vain in his appearance/clothing. There are sins/faults, and then there are sins/faults that your nature shouldn't even be weak against. An athlete being "lazy" takes more malice than a 400 lb man being "lazy" -- the latter has to fight his frame and is weighed down just walking across the room. The muscular, toned athlete has no excuse for lazing around and being slothful.

My only question is: what actor is going to play this woman, when her inevitable biopic is made. I got dibs on the movie rights. ::)
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: TheRealMcCoy on October 28, 2023, 01:02:08 PM
A clear lack of humility. Sounds like a trad feminist. I feel sorry for her husband if she has one.
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: 2Vermont on October 28, 2023, 01:17:24 PM
I think her email address should be deleted.
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Matthew on October 28, 2023, 02:20:47 PM
Quote from: 2Vermont on October 28, 2023, 01:17:24 PM
I think her email address should be deleted.
I agree. I just removed it.
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Ladislaus on October 28, 2023, 03:36:50 PM
Quote from: Matthew on October 28, 2023, 12:59:03 PM
So, there's a Crisis in the Church (involving a crisis of authority, basically striking at the HEART of the Church, its center of unity, the Pope).

Isn't that NECESSARILY going to cause a certain amount of disunity, confusion, differences of opinion what to do, etc.?

Of course.  That's part of the chastisement.

Not only that, but theological disagreements have been around since the beginning of the Church.  Just like at the raging battle between the Thomists and Molinists as a striking example.  Until the end of the world, wherever there are human beings, there will be divisions and dissensions.

Women make these things personal and emotional, whereas men are capable of agreeing to disagree, and they just carry on.  It's in line with the spirit of Ecuмenism to promote the Rodney King kumbaya mentality ...

(https://i.redd.it/pk3rfpy2wy961.jpg)

With that said, there are a few groups (who shall remain nameless) who exhibit a childish / puerile contempt for some other groups ... one group in particular.
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Ladislaus on October 28, 2023, 03:42:47 PM
Quote from: Änσnymσus on October 28, 2023, 11:55:46 AM
We need to really think about those who have trespassed against us and then sincerely forgive them. 

Again, apart from one particular group, I don't know of any priests who remain divided on theological issues due to a lack of "forgiveness".  It's just a matter of principle.

When I was growing up, on occasion my brothers and I would get into some knock-down-drag-out fist fights.  5 minutes are the smoke has settle, we're sitting on the front porch eating ice cream together ... with zero hard feelings.

Meanwhile, if one sister says something offensive to the other, they'll hold a grudge for years over it.
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Seraphina on October 28, 2023, 10:57:34 PM
Quote from: Änσnymσus on October 28, 2023, 11:55:46 AM
I am quoting below a letter which was shared with me:

+JMJ+
June 13, 2023
The Feast of St. Anthony within the Octave of Corpus Christi
Dear Catholic Bishops and Priests,
I am very sorry for the generic nature of this letter, but there are so many Catholic clergy, with so many different opinions that I felt I needed to write this letter to all of you without including any of your personal opinions on the current situation of the Catholic Church.
Who am I? I am a mother, whose heart is broken and all of you have broken my heart in some way. I know that seems like an unfair statement. How could you have broken my heart? You don’t even know who I am. You see God gave us His church to keep us happy and safe. The most important thing we teach our children is to know, love, and serve God in this world and to be happy with him forever in Heaven. Men, though, like to be right and have the answers. So they fight, yet they do not realize how that tears women apart and makes them not feel safe. When a woman does not feel safe, she cannot spread joy and happiness.
We need to stop fighting and let God heal His church. This starts with the Our Father.
“Our Father, who art in Heaven hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom
come thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day
our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who
trespass against and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.”
AMEN
We need to really think about those who have trespassed against us and then sincerely forgive them. If you still want to fight them, then you haven’t really forgiven them. We can speak charitably about our differences and realize that we can’t decide on the matter. Only a future Pope can.
I know you will think I am naive, but I just can’t keep a stiff upper lip anymore. I am dying inside and so are many of the women I know and love, too. Once the Devil has succeeded in destroying women’s hearts, then I believe all hell will break loose. We don’t want that. We want Nineveh, converting and being spared, not the death and destruction that Jonah wanted to see.
I forgive all of you, now I hope you forgive each other.
God bless you,
B.G.
Boo hoo 😢?  For the sake of your children and husband, pick yourself up and get on with it!  
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Änσnymσus on November 10, 2023, 08:52:24 AM
1 Corinthians chapter 13.  Catholic men should protect woman at all costs no matter how hysterical they think they are.  
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: TheRealMcCoy on November 10, 2023, 09:00:49 AM
Quote from: Änσnymσus on November 10, 2023, 08:52:24 AM
1 Corinthians chapter 13.  Catholic men should protect woman at all costs no matter how hysterical they think they are. 
Feminist claptrap.  This is what led to so many innocent men being accused of rape.
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Gray2023 on November 10, 2023, 02:35:16 PM
OK.  I don't understand why people feel the immediate need to attack all the time.  I wrote the letter above. Most of the thoughts that Matthew had were inconsiderate embellishments that have no basses for truth because he did not know the author.  And I am going to assume that all comments are going to continue to be called truthful and right, but they lack compassion and charity.  My sister said I was never a drama queen and my husband said this is why he doesn't like forums, because they can easily hit and run away.  We are all trying to be Catholics, but we just keep hitting each other below the belt.  

The letter was about woman and children being caught up in the crossfire.  Another forum got my son kicked out of the Seminary before he even started.  WE NEED TO STOP HURTING EACH OTHER. 
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Gray2023 on November 10, 2023, 02:46:23 PM
Oh and I sent the letter out to four priests begging them to tell me stop before I sent it out to others.
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Matthew on November 11, 2023, 09:19:43 AM
Quote from: Gray2023 on November 10, 2023, 02:35:16 PM
The letter was about woman and children being caught up in the crossfire.  Another forum got my son kicked out of the Seminary before he even started.  WE NEED TO STOP HURTING EACH OTHER.

See? You're doing it again. WE don't need to do anything. >I< don't need to stop hurting anyone, because I'm not hurting anyone now. You're committing the logical fallacy of BEGGING THE QUESTION. The classic example of this fallacy is, "Have you stopped beating your wife?"

"We need to stop hurting each other."
Me: "No we don't."
"So you want to keep hurting people?"
Me: "I wasn't hurting anyone to begin with."

"Have you stopped beating your wife?"
Me: "No."
"So you're just going to keep beating her, huh?"
Me: "I never beat her to begin with."

I TRULY and correctly interpreted YOUR WORDS in your letter. Perhaps you could clarify what you really meant. FYI: Words mean things.

If you are talking about Fr. Pfeiffer or Fr. Hewko's causing unnecessary divisions in Tradition, then say so.
If you're talking about Fr. Cekada's novel (never seen before) doctrine "If you assist at a Mass that is Una cuм Papa Nostro Francisco, then you are Una cuм his heresies, hence a mortal sin" killing the competition and causing unnecessary division and home-aloneism, then say so.
If you're talking about the Dimond Brothers condemning virtually everyone in Tradition, being the poster boys for dogmatic home aloners, then say so.
If you're talking about the neo-SSPX being "The organization first, the good of souls second" then say so.

There are many priests and bishops who step over the line, over-step their authority, and command their flock where they can and can't go for Mass. They bind their flock, under pain of sin, to do what is good for their Group or even themselves. They are at fault, yes. Is there too much "Rah rah my group" and jingoism in the world of Tradition? Of course there is.

BUT THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS. There are holy men who are doing their duty, who follow God first, and don't give in to the temptations to cause division in order to increase their collection revenue, worldly comforts, fame, power, etc.

But in your words above, you painted with a broad brush, making NO exceptions, implying that every priest and bishop is to blame for the continued state of Crisis that we find ourselves in today. There is no other way to interpret YOUR WORDS above. So if you want to add or subtract words, be my guest.
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Matthew on November 11, 2023, 09:28:45 AM
Quote
Oh and I sent the letter out to four priests begging them to tell me stop before I sent it out to others.

Is that good Traditional, feminine behavior? There are some who would chime in here with sentences I won't write myself. But I bet those sentences would contain the words "kitchen", "cooking", "household", and "husband".

Asking to see the manager all the time, or writing to a bunch of priests, just makes them dread to see you walk in the door. You do realize what a Karen move that is, right?

"Begging them to tell me to stop" -- and you say you're not a drama queen? You're drawing that much attention to yourself and your behavior, bugging FOUR different priests with a letter, focused on you and your feelings? Behavior like this is the very definition of drama queen.
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: TheRealMcCoy on November 11, 2023, 09:44:58 AM
Quote from: Gray2023 on November 10, 2023, 02:35:16 PM
OK.  I don't understand why people feel the immediate need to attack all the time. 
I would invite you to look in the mirror but because of your profound lack of insight to your own motives and your sense of entitlement it wouldn't do any good.

You are an embarrassment to your sex. Your views do not represent good Catholic women or innocent children.  Take your feminism elsewhere.
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Änσnymσus on November 11, 2023, 10:09:53 AM
Quote from: Matthew on November 11, 2023, 09:19:43 AM
If you are talking about Fr. Pfeiffer or Fr. Hewko's causing unnecessary divisions in Tradition, then say so.
If you're talking about Fr. Cekada's novel (never seen before) doctrine "If you assist at a Mass that is Una cuм Papa Nostro Francisco, then you are Una cuм his heresies, hence a mortal sin" killing the competition and causing unnecessary division and home-aloneism, then say so.
If you're talking about the Dimond Brothers condemning virtually everyone in Tradition, being the poster boys for dogmatic home aloners, then say so.
If you're talking about the neo-SSPX being "The organization first, the good of souls second" then say so.


I agree.  If the OP would be more specific about what precisely she is criticizing (as stated in this quote above), it would be more helpful.  Or at least provide a few examples.  Likewise more specifics about what she sees as solutions.  As someone else mentioned in a post further up ("Again, apart from one particular group, I don't know of any priests who remain divided on theological issues due to a lack of "forgiveness".  It's just a matter of principle."), with a crisis such as we're in, of course people are going to have differing opinions, and argue them.  (especially the men. ;) ).  I agree that it's not a lack of "forgiveness".  They shouldn't judge others with differing positions on the crisis as not being Catholic.  And since the poster said, "Another forum got my son kicked out of the Seminary before he even started.", although I don't know the specifics, it is an unfortunate (but seems kind of 'natural') feature of this crisis that different seminaries are going to have different opinions on the crisis, and one pursuing a vocation has to line oneself up with the seminary that comes closest to that opinion.   If someone who agrees with most of their stand, but not everything about their stand, can't enter, that too is unfortunate.   But I'm not sure what 'forgiveness' has to do with it, other than asking said seminary to change that extremist policy.  

These are difficult times, and I do feel sympathy for the OP.   I will pray for her & for all of us.  :pray:
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Gray2023 on November 11, 2023, 10:40:05 AM
Quote from: Änσnymσus on November 11, 2023, 10:09:53 AM
I agree.  If the OP would be more specific about what precisely she is criticizing (as stated in this quote above), it would be more helpful.  Or at least provide a few examples.  Likewise more specifics about what she sees as solutions.  As someone else mentioned in a post further up ("Again, apart from one particular group, I don't know of any priests who remain divided on theological issues due to a lack of "forgiveness".  It's just a matter of principle."), with a crisis such as we're in, of course people are going to have differing opinions, and argue them.  (especially the men. ;) ). I agree that it's not a lack of "forgiveness".  They shouldn't judge others with differing positions on the crisis as not being Catholic.  And since the poster said, "Another forum got my son kicked out of the Seminary before he even started.", although I don't know the specifics, it is an unfortunate (but seems kind of 'natural') feature of this crisis that different seminaries are going to have different opinions on the crisis, and one pursuing a vocation has to line oneself up with the seminary that comes closest to that opinion. If someone who agrees with most of their stand, but not everything about their stand, can't enter, that too is unfortunate.   But I'm not sure what 'forgiveness' has to do with it, other than asking said seminary to change that extremist policy. 

These are difficult times, and I do feel sympathy for the OP.  I will pray for her & for all of us. :pray:


I was talking about all of these and then some.  My journey over the last 40 years has been influenced by this Catholic confusion.  
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Änσnymσus on November 11, 2023, 11:05:17 AM
I feel sympathy for the OP as well. I think some here are lacking compassion.  She’s just frustrated and she is looking to place the responsibility on traditional clergy, but there is enough accountability to go around on all of us because God gives us the pope we deserve.  The shepherd is struck and the sheep are scattered.  We have no good authority to find in the pope so how can the rest of the church manage when the leader is so misguided (at best). These are the times in which we live.  God knew we would live in these present circuмstances and she can be encouraged by that.  All of the people telling her to get on with it should take into account she is a woman (with all the emotional feelings that come natural to her) and her temperament, which is probably melancholic.  She’s just grasping at straws, looking for a way to make the situation better.
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Änσnymσus on November 11, 2023, 11:07:12 AM
Quote from: Gray2023 on November 11, 2023, 10:40:05 AM
I was talking about all of these and then some.  My journey over the last 40 years has been influenced by this Catholic confusion. 
Same with most of us.  I don’t know what to tell you, except keep the Faith as it has been handed down since the Apostles, and do your best to offer up the “confusion.”  It is sad that the crisis has divided so many Catholics, but on fundamentals, all real Catholics are more united than we seem.  For example, no matter how much folks here on CathInfo slug it out on the forum, if there is a prayer request because some member (even the most combative) is gravely ill or has a serious issue to be prayed for, from what I’ve seen, most members rally to pray for that person.  They don’t say, “I’m not going to pray for him, because he’s on the opposite side of my position!” 

It is sad when the differences/confusion/strong stands on the crisis cause people to have fallings-out, (if that’s a term) or other practical consequences (such as a son not being allowed in a seminary).  But I think we have to offer these things up, just as we offer up the other failings of our fellow Catholics.  If we know someone who has a bad temper or naturally grouchy disposition, we have to offer it up & still love them.  And in a war, we have to offer up many tragedies.  So it is with this crisis.  Try to do the practical things you can (for example, exploring other options for a potential vocation), and also, try to shelter yourself from discord to the extent possible.  And try not to be too hard on bishops/priests/others whom you perceive to be the chief agents of discord.  We’re all in this terrible crisis together, even if it doesn’t seem like it when we argue.  It’s like we’re on a lifeboat, arguing about the best way to get to shore, but whatever you do, don’t jump off the lifeboat. 

I’ve heard it said that those who live in our times will get more graces, and maybe more “merit” so to speak for keeping the Faith in these times.  God created you to live in these times!  Let’s focus on Our Lord on the Cross, standing with Our Lady, and keep fighting the good fight. 

Our Lady of Fatima, pray for us!
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Änσnymσus on November 11, 2023, 11:12:07 AM
I believe that the  letter was meant to be a petition basically trying to say this:

"Traditional Catholic priests who are responsible for unnecessary divisions...Please be humble and charitable and try to find ways to work together for the greater honor and glory of God and the restoration of the Church."

Matthew objected to the letter because she did not make an exception for the good and holy priests who are out there not fighting and who do great good.

Others objected to the letter because of the emotion involved.

I think that this letter and the reaction of everyone towards it shows just how much we all need to grow more in humility and charity.

Jesus meek and humble of heart.  Make my heart like until thine!

P.S.  Matthew, perhaps this thread should be deleted as the original writer of the letter seems to object to it being online?  



Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Änσnymσus on November 11, 2023, 02:01:30 PM
Quote from: Änσnymσus on November 11, 2023, 11:05:17 AM
I think some here are lacking compassion. 
It's my hobby! :cowboy: :facepalm: :'(
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: jvk on November 18, 2023, 05:08:48 PM
err
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Gray2023 on April 12, 2024, 11:37:20 AM
I came across this holy card. It was in the bookstore of the Church I attend. I think it says what I hoped Priests and Bishops would say.

I haven't found the one for wives, but I will post it here when I do.

May God bless you and keep you.

The problems we have come from people not just men or women.  Please keep fighting for God not against each other.
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Gray2023 on April 12, 2024, 11:38:34 AM
Quote from: Gray2023 on April 12, 2024, 11:37:20 AM
I came across this holy card. It was in the bookstore of the Church I attend. I think it says what I hoped Priests and Bishops would say.

I haven't found the one for wives, but I will post it here when I do.

May God bless you and keep you.

The problems we have come from people not just men or women.  Please keep fighting for God not against each other.
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Änσnymσus on April 12, 2024, 12:33:31 PM
I've seen that holy card.  I thought of a friend's husband (not mine) that I wish I could give it to.  And yes, I agree it would be good to hear more of this from the pulpit.  
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: AMDGJMJ on April 12, 2024, 12:40:14 PM
Here you go for the wife's version:  :popcorn:
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Änσnymσus on April 12, 2024, 12:46:09 PM
Interesting that they aren't all that different.
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Änσnymσus on April 12, 2024, 12:51:17 PM
All I could think of after reading the letter was Bishop Williamson saying ( paraphrasing) " We all want to have warm chocolate feelings in our hearts" .
These are not the days we are living in
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: josefamenendez on April 12, 2024, 12:53:19 PM
Quote from: Änσnymσus on April 12, 2024, 12:51:17 PM
All I could think of after reading the letter was Bishop Williamson saying ( paraphrasing) " We all want to have warm chocolate feelings in our hearts" .
These are not the days we are living in
me
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Gray2023 on April 12, 2024, 01:21:47 PM
If a man shouldn't share his frustrations with work with their wife, and a woman shouldn't share their frustrations with the household with her husband, then who are they suppose to talk about frustrations? Does mean everyone needs to bottle up their frustrations?  Is that right?
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Änσnymσus on April 12, 2024, 01:43:57 PM
Quote from: Gray2023 on April 12, 2024, 01:21:47 PM
If a man shouldn't share his frustrations with work with their wife, and a woman shouldn't share their frustrations with the household with her husband, then who are they suppose to talk about frustrations? Does mean everyone needs to bottle up their frustrations?  Is that right?

I think what it's probably getting at is:  Don't whine. 

I think it's a judgment call:  If there are household troubles that he needs to know about, then talk to him about it. 
Then there may be some things where she might be better off venting to a confidante, e.g. another woman who is discreet.  And as far as venting frustrations to the husband, hopefully she has the wisdom to know how much is appropriate, and how much is too much.  

I remember a good priest who said that, as far as what might be called "complaining," people should have a confidante to air their frustrations with.  For some things that might be hubby; for others maybe a female friend.  [And likewise with the husband.]   And all should try to have (pray for) the good judgment to know how much is appropriate, and how much is too much.   I don't think keeping them bottled up is the solution.  
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Änσnymσus on April 12, 2024, 02:30:06 PM
Quote from: Änσnymσus on April 12, 2024, 01:43:57 PM
I think what it's probably getting at is:  Don't whine.

I think it's a judgment call:  If there are household troubles that he needs to know about, then talk to him about it.
Then there may be some things where she might be better off venting to a confidante, e.g. another woman who is discreet.  And as far as venting frustrations to the husband, hopefully she has the wisdom to know how much is appropriate, and how much is too much. 

I remember a good priest who said that, as far as what might be called "complaining," people should have a confidante to air their frustrations with.  For some things that might be hubby; for others maybe a female friend.  [And likewise with the husband.]  And all should try to have (pray for) the good judgment to know how much is appropriate, and how much is too much.  I don't think keeping them bottled up is the solution. 

We take our frustrations to prayer. 

If we've been blessed with a patient and understanding spouse, wonderful. If we've been blessed with some other dear confidante, wonderful.

But lots of people have zero options, whether because there is no spouse and no confidante, or because we sense that unburdening ourselves on that person is asking/expecting too much of that person. 
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Nadir on April 12, 2024, 05:25:01 PM
Quote from: Gray2023 on April 12, 2024, 01:21:47 PM
If a man shouldn't share his frustrations with work with their wife, and a woman shouldn't share their frustrations with the household with her husband, then who are they suppose to talk about frustrations? Does mean everyone needs to bottle up their frustrations?  Is that right?
I was thinking likewise. That makes no sense to me.
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Änσnymσus on April 13, 2024, 05:40:50 AM
Quote from: Änσnymσus on April 12, 2024, 01:43:57 PM
I think what it's probably getting at is:  Don't whine.

I think it's a judgment call:  If there are household troubles that he needs to know about, then talk to him about it.
Then there may be some things where she might be better off venting to a confidante, e.g. another woman who is discreet.  And as far as venting frustrations to the husband, hopefully she has the wisdom to know how much is appropriate, and how much is too much. 

I remember a good priest who said that, as far as what might be called "complaining," people should have a confidante to air their frustrations with.  For some things that might be hubby; for others maybe a female friend.  [And likewise with the husband.]  And all should try to have (pray for) the good judgment to know how much is appropriate, and how much is too much.  I don't think keeping them bottled up is the solution. 
Well said.  ^^^
Title: Re: The Tears of a Traditional Catholic Mother
Post by: Änσnymσus on April 13, 2024, 08:54:46 AM
Usually when a woman wants to vent to her husband, it's HIM that she wants vent about.  But not wanting to take accountability for herself she'll say she wants to share her feelings.