I was talking about all of these and then some. My journey over the last 40 years has been influenced by this Catholic confusion.
Same with most of us. I don’t know what to tell you, except keep the Faith as it has been handed down since the Apostles, and do your best to offer up the “confusion.” It is sad that the crisis has divided so many Catholics, but on fundamentals, all real Catholics are more united than we seem. For example, no matter how much folks here on CathInfo slug it out on the forum, if there is a prayer request because some member (even the most combative) is gravely ill or has a serious issue to be prayed for, from what I’ve seen, most members rally to pray for that person. They don’t say, “I’m not going to pray for him, because he’s on the opposite side of my position!”
It is sad when the differences/confusion/strong stands on the crisis cause people to have fallings-out, (if that’s a term) or other practical consequences (such as a son not being allowed in a seminary). But I think we have to offer these things up, just as we offer up the other failings of our fellow Catholics. If we know someone who has a bad temper or naturally grouchy disposition, we have to offer it up & still love them. And in a war, we have to offer up many tragedies. So it is with this crisis. Try to do the practical things you can (for example, exploring other options for a potential vocation), and also, try to shelter yourself from discord to the extent possible. And try not to be too hard on bishops/priests/others whom you perceive to be the chief agents of discord. We’re all in this terrible crisis together, even if it doesn’t seem like it when we argue. It’s like we’re on a lifeboat, arguing about the best way to get to shore, but whatever you do, don’t jump off the lifeboat.
I’ve heard it said that those who live in our times will get more graces, and maybe more “merit” so to speak for keeping the Faith in these times. God created you to live in these times! Let’s focus on Our Lord on the Cross, standing with Our Lady, and keep fighting the good fight.
Our Lady of Fatima, pray for us!