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Author Topic: Text Etiquette w Regard to Relative  (Read 991 times)

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Änσnymσus

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Text Etiquette w Regard to Relative
« on: August 07, 2013, 08:21:21 PM »
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    • The only people I send and receive texts from are my husband and children.  

    Previously, no one but them had my cell phone number.  I needed to find out about another family number, and was concerned about them, so ended up sending a text to another relative who lives nearby (to the aforementioned family member).  

    Now the relative is texting me here and there and I can see where this is headed if I don't handle this correctly.  I want to maintain a polite manner, but do not wish to encourage this ongoing communication with them.

    How can I keep distance without being completely rude?  Or can I?  :thinking:

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    Offline Frances

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    Text Etiquette w Regard to Relative
    « Reply #1 on: August 07, 2013, 10:55:35 PM »
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    •  :smile:Try saying something like, "Jane, we find it works best when we limit texting to the ____ of us.  We'd appreciate it if you could contact us by voice, from now on."
    If your relative will not respect your wishes, I would simply cease to accept her texts.  When they arrive, delete them.  Instruct your children to do likewise.  Many phones have a blocking feature.  If yours has it, set it up and the problem is solved.  Don't offend unless it's unavoidable-and then let it be the relative's fault, not yours.
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     St. Francis Xavier threw a Crucifix into the sea, at once calming the waves.  Upon reaching the shore, the Crucifix was returned to him by a crab with a curious cross pattern on its shell.  

    Offline MaterDominici

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    Text Etiquette w Regard to Relative
    « Reply #2 on: August 08, 2013, 12:14:55 AM »
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    • Reply to the texts needing a response via your preferred medium (voice, email). If you never text back, they'll probably figure out that you don't wish to communicate in that manner.
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    "I think that Catholicism, that's as sane as people can get."  - Jordan Peterson

    Offline Tiffany

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    Text Etiquette w Regard to Relative
    « Reply #3 on: August 08, 2013, 07:30:20 AM »
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    • To be fair you did text her out of the blue. It be different if you met her at the wedding and suddenly she was texting you six times a day. I would just tell her you aren't into texting much but feel free to  call you or your husband.

    I had a terrible experience that started with texting. Made a short call to an acquaintance from my cell phone who I communicated with by emailed occasionally but hadn't spoken to in a few years. Later they started texting me and it really turned into something not good.
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    Änσnymσus

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    Text Etiquette w Regard to Relative
    « Reply #4 on: August 08, 2013, 12:22:53 PM »
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    • Quote from: MaterDominici
    Reply to the texts needing a response via your preferred medium (voice, email). If you never text back, they'll probably figure out that you don't wish to communicate in that manner.


    Good post.  Very well stated.
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    Änσnymσus

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    Text Etiquette w Regard to Relative
    « Reply #5 on: August 08, 2013, 12:30:16 PM »
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    • What is so hard in texting back and forth....   :facepalm:

    Let's try to not be social miscreants!  

    Is it really so hard to just say "hi" on a text?  Maybe this family member who you reached out to is in need of some companionship.  

    Always keeping people at arm's lenght even when you texted first is a sign that you want to deal with people only on your terms.  

    I wonder if God is offended by your prayers?
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    Offline MaterDominici

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    Text Etiquette w Regard to Relative
    « Reply #6 on: August 08, 2013, 01:28:32 PM »
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    • The OP didn't give a reason.

    Perhaps the texts are running up cellphone costs which they can't afford?

    Perhaps OP is a busy parent who has to prioritize their spouse and 15 children per their duty of state over the needs of more distant relatives?  :wink:
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    "I think that Catholicism, that's as sane as people can get."  - Jordan Peterson

    Änσnymσus

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    Text Etiquette w Regard to Relative
    « Reply #7 on: August 08, 2013, 03:08:37 PM »
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    • Quote from: MaterDominici
    The OP didn't give a reason.

    Perhaps the texts are running up cellphone costs which they can't afford?

    Perhaps OP is a busy parent who has to prioritize their spouse and 15 children per their duty of state over the needs of more distant relatives?  :wink:


    Some people aren't into chitchat, so you got me there.   :smile:

    Then again, how hard is it to say "That's nice" and leave at that?  

    The best method is to just not respond at all.  This technique is used by almost everyone I text - they just don't want to hear from me, I guess.   :wink:
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    Änσnymσus

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    Text Etiquette w Regard to Relative
    « Reply #8 on: August 08, 2013, 03:50:52 PM »
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    • Let's help the OP out here guys!

    Here are some ways to cut ties.

    Text this:  "Hey so and so, sure I contacted you out of the blue, but now that you've told me everything I want to know, please slink back on into the woodwork and do not text me ever again."

    Or text this:  "I am extremely busy, so please restrict correspondence to letter form.  My address is xxxxxxxx."

    Or try this:  "Please do not text me any longer."

    Or this:  "Stop texting me."

    Or:  "I apologize for any inconveniences, but I am unavailable at this time."  Send that in respond to the received texts and after three or four of them the texter will get the message and leave you alone.

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    Änσnymσus

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    Text Etiquette w Regard to Relative
    « Reply #9 on: August 08, 2013, 03:53:03 PM »
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    • Quote from: Guest
    Let's help the OP out here guys!

    Here are some ways to cut ties.

    Text this:  "Hey so and so, sure I contacted you out of the blue, but now that you've told me everything I want to know, please slink back on into the woodwork and do not text me ever again."

    Or text this:  "I am extremely busy, so please restrict correspondence to letter form.  My address is xxxxxxxx."

    Or try this:  "Please do not text me any longer."

    Or this:  "Stop texting me."

    Or:  "I apologize for any inconveniences, but I am unavailable at this time."  Send that in respond to the received texts and after three or four of them the texter will get the message and leave you alone.



    I posted the above and it is all meant as a joke.  

    Use them if you will but the respond may not be nice....   :jester:

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    Änσnymσus

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    Text Etiquette w Regard to Relative
    « Reply #10 on: August 09, 2013, 03:01:39 PM »
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    • Thank you all who've responded helpfully and nicely.  Obviously I was trying to be nice myself or I wouldn't have bothered asking for assistance so as not to offend.  

    The relative is a male and I am a female. We are not close and he's a very chatty type ... and I do not wish to spend time in a back and forth chit chat.  

    I don't know what it is about this anonymous forum and people who wish to attack someone rather than either refrain from commenting or try to find something helpful to say.  

    I would never say "I wonder if God hears your prayers"  to anyone regardless of what question they asked.  
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    Änσnymσus

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    Text Etiquette w Regard to Relative
    « Reply #11 on: August 09, 2013, 04:05:41 PM »
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    • Quote from: Guest
    Thank you all who've responded helpfully and nicely.  Obviously I was trying to be nice myself or I wouldn't have bothered asking for assistance so as not to offend.  

    The relative is a male and I am a female. We are not close and he's a very chatty type ... and I do not wish to spend time in a back and forth chit chat.  

    I don't know what it is about this anonymous forum and people who wish to attack someone rather than either refrain from commenting or try to find something helpful to say.  

    I would never say "I wonder if God hears your prayers"  to anyone regardless of what question they asked.  


    You came across really rude in your OP, as I saw it.  

    I sometimes see things wrong, ya know!   :wink:

    As for God hearing your prayers, you should start a nine day novena to St Philomena.  And pray the confiteur.  

    The worst response someone can do to a jab like "I wonder if God hears your prayers" is to get defensive.  

    Trust me on that one.   :wink:
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    Änσnymσus

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    Text Etiquette w Regard to Relative
    « Reply #12 on: August 09, 2013, 04:14:57 PM »
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    • texting is bizarre
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    Änσnymσus

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    Text Etiquette w Regard to Relative
    « Reply #13 on: August 09, 2013, 04:17:05 PM »
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    • FWIW I thought the OP was just fine. Said just enough.

    Why rude?
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    Änσnymσus

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    Text Etiquette w Regard to Relative
    « Reply #14 on: August 09, 2013, 11:04:26 PM »
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    • How about ignoring this person
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