Catholic Info
Traditional Catholic Faith => Anσnymσus Posts Allowed => Topic started by: Änσnymσus on May 23, 2014, 10:23:11 AM
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I know the Church teaching on discipline and corporal punishment but I have a problem with a teenage son who is interfering with my attempts to punish younger children. He has charged himself with "preventing" abuse that he "imagines" we might do. I've talked to him and he is totally convinced he's doing the right thing by rebelling in this way. He acknowledges that he has no authority over us (the parents) but nevertheless he feels justified in stepping in to "prevent" the punishments from going too far. He's creating a lot of chaos in the home over small incidences where a spank or two is needed. My husband has repeatedly told him he is not the third adult in the house but the problem is getting worse.
Any advice?
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It sounds as though your teenage son is the one who needs discipline. Start by taking away some privileges. No offense intended, but your husband isn’t doing his job as a father if he has “repeatedly told him he is not the third adult in the house.” One time should be enough.
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First of all, is your family saying a daily rosary every day and a specific time with no exceptions? This is the first and foremost action that must be done.
Second, find a traditional chapel that is not affiliated with the local diocese.
Get him out of public or private school and homeschool him. He is learning what constitutes "abuse" from these evil people.
If he is already graduated or close to graduation from high school and has reached the age of majority, he may have to be sent packing. As difficult as this will be, you cannot allow him to usurp your authority as parents (that is, unless you are locking kids up in closets for hours or using whips and chains as punishments, in which case, he is probably right--but something tells me that this is not what is going on).
Plus, what Charlemagne said.
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I wonder what bad influence he got this idea from?
Perhaps you can find him something to read that will counteract it?
I hope you're both, the father especially praying daily prayers for your family's spiritual protection. It's a duty, and esp. necessary in helping counteract the diabolical influences that try to tear apart a family.
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OP here. My son is homeschooled but attended public school through 9th grade. We pray daily rosary, son does a lot of spiritual reading, regular confession, but his rebellion is directed at me (mother). He doesn't treat my husband this way at all but he's gone to work 10 hours a day. Son seems to have a lot of animosity towards me because in the past we didn't live our Catholic faith as we do now. We strive to have a holy "cloister" home, enthronement to Sacred Heart, very involved in our Resistance parish.
One thing is that I'm going through menopause so I have mood swings that son reacts strongly too and he sees them as evidence of immoral or satanic influence rather than natural hormonal effects.
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FWIW, you probably have heard this already, from what I've been told you normally shouldn't do corporal punishment when you're angry, but only after the passion has passed?
Just a thought, since he's a teen he's overly emotionally sensitive, don't know if it's an issue. Hopefully Dad can teach him about the vice of effeminacy and being more manly in the face of painful stuff being virtuous, and reinforce that how a child becomes a saint by being obedient to parents for the sake of God.
:pray:
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This sounds like the OP is in a tough spot.
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Kids in public school are very much indoctrinated against parents, )posters all over to report parents to the state) combine that with the teen without life experience well meaning but sometimes oddball sense of justice/convictions I'm sure this isn't uncommon.
I would applaud him wanting to stand up to his siblings, hear him out, and then try to explain to him when neither of you is upset, do it in parts if you have to First is mom's authority needs to be respected even if you don't agree or think it's unjust. Don't force him into silence though, let him know if he feels strongly that a punishment was unjust at a LATER time he can always appeal to you but he never defies you in front of the siblings.
Young men can be tough, get as much sleep as you can and try to eat well yourself. I get far less aggravated if I've had some time of dedicated exercise time where I'm sweating during the day.
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Menopause: How are you caring for your change? No Estrogen replacement, take Evening in Prime Rose Oil gel tabs, and D3, and look at SAMe for starts.
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Menopause: How are you caring for your change? No Estrogen replacement, take Evening in Prime Rose Oil gel tabs, and D3, and look at SAMe for starts.
Magnesium, D3, SAMe, chasteberry and chiropractic.
BTW, we had a priest talk to son. And he's grounded to his bedroom for a while including other loss of privileges. All seems quiet on the Western Front for now.
Thanks everyone for your care and advice.
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Perhaps you can find him something to read that will counteract it?
There are Bible passages that state such things as (paraphrasing) "he who would spare the rod (whip) hates his son" (I think this is in Proverbs) and "a son that a father will not discipline is not a son but a bastard" (I think this is from a Pauline epistle, maybe Hebrews).
Also, S. Alphonsus is a very stern preacher of morals, not the least bit effeminate. I think of a sermon of his that I believe you may read online entitld something like "on the duties of parents."
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You need to go to counseling before CPS becomes involved.
Go to a counselor who can be objective, not someone affiliated with a religion. Keep an open mind and be open to criticism.
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How about contacting Fr. David Hewko? Fr. is having a summer camp making pilgrimages to various sites and roughing it! It may be exactly what your son needs!
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You need to go to counseling before CPS becomes involved.
Go to a counselor who can be objective, not someone affiliated with a religion. Keep an open mind and be open to criticism.
I can't think of a more effective way to get CPS involved in a Catholic family's life than to go to an atheistic counselor. What exactly does "keep an open mind" mean Crossbro? Open to what? Heresy? Denial of doctrine? Submission to the viewpoint of our zionist overlords? Maybe we should stay open to the idea that "the Catholic Church doesn't have a monopoly on Truth." Please specify what you are saying.
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You need to go to counseling before CPS becomes involved.
Go to a counselor who can be objective, not someone affiliated with a religion. Keep an open mind and be open to criticism.
This is actually about the worst thing one can do.
Catholics have no business receiving council from worldly non- Catholics.
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If the counselor considers corporal punishment a crime wouldn't that be enough to cause the counselor to report to CPS?
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If the counselor considers corporal punishment a crime wouldn't that be enough to cause the counselor to report to CPS?
Yes, they are mandatory reporters. And not just for corporal punishment.
Bringing difficult situations to people and asking for counsel is a very risky business these days.
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FWIW, you probably have heard this already, from what I've been told you normally shouldn't do corporal punishment when you're angry, but only after the passion has passed?
Just a thought, since he's a teen he's overly emotionally sensitive, don't know if it's an issue. Hopefully Dad can teach him about the vice of effeminacy and being more manly in the face of painful stuff being virtuous, and reinforce that how a child becomes a saint by being obedient to parents for the sake of God.
:pray:
Maybe the boy had been too harshly disciplined in the past, so now he seeks to protect his younger siblings. I have seen way over-the-top beating and neglect by trad parents. I don't necessarily believe the boy is bad and Dad is weak. Unless dad looks the other way when his family is suffering. I think there is more to this story.
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You need to go to counseling before CPS becomes involved.
Go to a counselor who can be objective, not someone affiliated with a religion. Keep an open mind and be open to criticism.
If she does that- the counselor will probably be the one to call the CPS on her! There are now laws requiring them to do so if there is mention of abuse.
Oops! Didn't see that other posters had mentioned this possibility already.
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Children who attend government schools are well indoctrinated to rebel against parents. CYS workers come in and speak to classes everywhere.... better to get counseling from a Traditional Catholic priest if no Traditional Catholic Counselor is available.
no one needs the state involved in anything