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Author Topic: suspected emotonal affair  (Read 2307 times)

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Offline Ladislaus

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Re: suspected emotonal affair
« Reply #30 on: March 19, 2023, 07:39:34 AM »
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  • And the children? What do you think should be done about them? Should they be abandoned?

    Children are victims of your brother and the women he's with, but none of this changes the fact that he can't continue living with this woman, and the "emotional affair" is meaningless, in that he has not right to any kind of more-than-purely-Platonic relationship with this woman.

    Offline Ladislaus

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    Re: suspected emotonal affair
    « Reply #31 on: March 19, 2023, 07:42:00 AM »
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  • Of course he has rights.  He has the right to his children.
    If she wants to go...GO...but both children stay and he should contact a lawyer right now to make it so.
    Also, where is she getting the money for this trip?  If it's from him or his account or a joint account, clean them out NOW.  Let the new guy pay for the trip.  Any past promises made about money are now null and void as they don't relate to this kind of situation.

    You're conflating two issue here.  First you're worried about the "emotional affair", which is completely moot.  It's also moot about where she got the money.  Children are a completely separate issue.  Given that neither your brother nor the woman seem to have a high sense of Catholic morals, is it better of the children were to stay with him vs. with the woman.  In the court, there would likely be some joint custody situation, since the courts acknowledge "common law" relationships.

    But he is required to separate from living in sin with here ANYWAY, regardless of this "emotional affair".


    Offline Ladislaus

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    Re: suspected emotonal affair
    « Reply #32 on: March 19, 2023, 07:44:37 AM »
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  • There are long term consequences to unrepentant mortal sin.  Those effects can last generations. Your time is better spent encouraging him to take solace in the arms of Holy Mother Church as this situation is going to devastate him either way he is losing someone.

    Agreed.  He needs to convert, try to get custody of the children, who would then be raised Catholic, but he can't say with this woman anyway ... unless the Church were to approve a brother-sister type of arrangement, but then there's no expectation of "fidelity" that can be had any more than there could be between a brother and sister.

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    Re: suspected emotonal affair
    « Reply #33 on: March 19, 2023, 07:51:06 AM »
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  • I think as a legal parent he can get an emergency court order to stop her from taking the child out of the country- it's a start anyway.

    Offline Quo vadis Domine

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    Re: suspected emotonal affair
    « Reply #34 on: March 19, 2023, 08:20:53 AM »
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  • I was talking about how he has no right to her "fidelity" in the first place.  Read what I actually wrote.

    And not not only that, he's required to separate from living in sin with her ... unless somehow dispensed by the Church to live as brother and sister, in which case also there's no actual "husband-wife" relatlionship.

    As for his rights over his children, due to his situation, it would then be court battle ... which is something he has to deal with as a consequence of his actions.

    Thank you for this! I think the problem here is that too many Catholics have become desensitized to the seriousness of these immoral practices. I have family members who are in such situations and I refuse to go over to their house or acknowledge their situation. It’s funny, I’ve been ostracized, to a certain extent, by other family members because of my “rigorous” stance. Thanks be to God!
    For what doth it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of his own soul? Or what exchange shall a man give for his soul?


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    Re: suspected emotonal affair
    « Reply #35 on: March 19, 2023, 08:37:03 AM »
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  • Children are victims of your brother and the women he's with, but none of this changes the fact that he can't continue living with this woman, and the "emotional affair" is meaningless, in that he has not right to any kind of more-than-purely-Platonic relationship with this woman.
    This is the OP.  There are other anonymous people posting in this thread.  (I don't know why they want to hide their identity. My reasons should be clear.)  I did not write the post you are replying to.  I agreed with your take on the situation and upvoted you.

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    Re: suspected emotonal affair
    « Reply #36 on: March 19, 2023, 08:39:32 AM »
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  • Hey, this same thing happened to me! Except I was the little baby that my mom took to meet her "friend" and my parents were actually married in the NO, though they didn't practice or raise us Catholic.
    This is the OP.  I'm sorry you went through such a difficult childhood, but I appreciated getting your perspective on this.  It was really helpful.

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    Re: suspected emotonal affair
    « Reply #37 on: March 19, 2023, 08:48:39 AM »
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  • I think the problem here is that too many Catholics have become desensitized to the seriousness of these immoral practices. 
    This is the OP.  Having a front row seat to this situation has given me a new appreciation for the wisdom of Church teaching.  While the world complains about Catholicism lacking in compassion, look at all the suffering that happens when people ignore Catholic moral teaching.

    I don't have much sympathy for the adults in this situation, who are facing the consequences of their actions, but the children are innocent.  I feel sorry for them. 


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    Re: suspected emotonal affair
    « Reply #38 on: March 19, 2023, 09:43:27 AM »
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  • This is the OP.  Other than a post where I was answering a question about the situation, I started all my posts saying "This is the OP".  Any anonymous who did not do that is not me.

    Offline Quo vadis Domine

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    Re: suspected emotonal affair
    « Reply #39 on: March 19, 2023, 10:11:11 AM »
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  • This is the OP.  Having a front row seat to this situation has given me a new appreciation for the wisdom of Church teaching.  While the world complains about Catholicism lacking in compassion, look at all the suffering that happens when people ignore Catholic moral teaching.

    I don't have much sympathy for the adults in this situation, who are facing the consequences of their actions, but the children are innocent.  I feel sorry for them.


    Yes, I agree.
    For what doth it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of his own soul? Or what exchange shall a man give for his soul?

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    Re: suspected emotonal affair
    « Reply #40 on: March 19, 2023, 04:49:01 PM »
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  • Tell him to dismiss the concubine and good riddance to her but refuse to let her take the baby and he needs to  get custody of  the children for their safety. A woman who'd do this can't be too bright. If she's walking into a death trap at least keep the baby out of it.


    Offline Mark 79

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    Re: suspected emotonal affair
    « Reply #41 on: March 19, 2023, 08:44:12 PM »
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  • She can't travel with his child out of the country without his permission.

    He should let her go without the kid and tell her to not come back.