Author Topic: Should lazy stay-at-home wives work outside the home to acquire diligence?  (Read 784 times)

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Änσnymσus

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Do some wives not have the discipline to be stay-at-home and need to work outside the home in order to acquire discipline/diligence?
I know there are mothers who do not have the discipline to homeschool.

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  • Not all mothers are meant to stay-at-home. It all depends on what she wants and can do.


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  • If she has small children, she'll be kept busy whether she wants to be or not.

    Maybe working-from-home could be a good option for a housewife who finds she has too much idle time on her hands. Whether that's running some kind of home business, or simply doing a remote job from the computer, etc.

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  • If she has small children, she'll be kept busy whether she wants to be or not.

    Maybe working-from-home could be a good option for a housewife who finds she has too much idle time on her hands. Whether that's running some kind of home business, or simply doing a remote job from the computer, etc.
    A large, large number of office jobs are now permanently work from home. So it's possible.

    Offline Matthew

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  • Do lazy husbands get a free pass, or what? ;)

    This thread seems kind of fishy. Kind of like if I said:


    Quote
    Should lazy stay-at-home wives work, or should those lazy wives continue to sit at home and eat bon-bons? Because all those lazy wives sitting on their cans all day need to be more productive, right?

    In Logic, that is called "begging the question" or perhaps "baseless assertion".
    The OP presumes lazy wives are "a thing" right off the bat, and proceeds to discuss what can best be done about them.
    Or better yet, to use a practical example from 2021:

    Quote
    "What is to be done about Man-caused Catastrophic Climate Change? Some say we don't need to do anything, that there is nothing we can do. Others think the world should be reset to a more eco-friendly mode of existence. Still others think we must make gradual changes to our lifestyle to save the earth. In conclusion, there are many sides in the great debate on what to do about Man-caused Catastrophic Climate Change."

    Note the problem with the above quote? It presumes that Man-caused Catastrophic Climate Change is a thing.

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    Offline SusanneT

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  • Not all mothers are meant to stay-at-home. It all depends on what she wants and can do.
    I don’t agree I strongly believe that all mothers should be at home looking after their children. 
    Not all are perfect, but very few have the opportunity to be lazy. 

    Offline SimpleMan

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  • Just playing it straight, if a wife who does not have children yet (or does not/cannot have them at all) is just sitting home on her rump eating bonbons and watching TV like Peg Bundy, then, yes, she needs to get off of that rump and do something.  Let her work and put money towards the couple's future home and child-rearing.

    There are, however, two things to consider:

    When women get out in the world working, they are highly susceptible to bad influences from (a) other women who would seek to "liberate" them, or drag them into "fun-loving" or even adulterous situations with men (or perhaps even other women, lesbians do exist) and (b) men who think no more of breaking up a marriage than the man in the moon, there's no better way to find someone to have an affair with, than in an office situation.

    Is a husband who works out in the world among women as susceptible to being seduced away from his home and marriage, as a woman who works out in the world among men?  It's a legitimate question.  I've never heard of a divorce where either money or sex (or both) wasn't in some way involved.  Keep in mind, too, that 70 percent of all divorces are filed for by the wives.  They don't just get up one morning and say "hey, I don't want to be married anymore".  There's almost always a history, a backstory to it.

    And the other thing is, once she does have children, her "job one" is the home and family.

    Sadly, I'm in a position to know what I'm talking about.  I cannot say more than that.

    Änσnymσus

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  • If there’s a wife and/or mother who has free time on their hands, they can always clean the house.  Most modern women are too good for this type of thing, but it was normal pre-Vatican 2.  Even “liberated” women of the 50s cleaned their own house.  
    .
    Also, notice how the label of “stay at home mom” is just part of the job of being a good wife.  The other part is creating & maintaining a home.  How many women know how to sew/repair clothes anymore?  Most don’t even know how to cook.  Domestic DUTIES are a lost art.  The proper label is “stay at home WIFE”.  Wife includes mother and home duties. 
    .
    Plenty to say about lazy husbands, but this thread is about wives. 


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  • I work full time (remotely), homeschool, and run my household.  I was not disciplined in my youth but my circumstances forced me to become so.  It's called maturing.  I also own my home, am financially solvent, and am building a legacy to leave to my children.  This was out of necessity because needs must when the devil drives.  I have no friends or family which might be of benefit to me in staying focused.  But I have a beautiful home that is comfortable and always clean.  I cook supper every night and we eat meals at the table.  There is daily prayer and weekly Mass.  It is possible to learn but only if you want to and need to.  By going out to work there will be no desire or need.  I do not agree that a job outside the home will teach self-discipline.  Most likely it will provide more opportunity for a lazy woman to become more worldly and focused on pleasure and entertainments.  

    Successful homeschooling is a matter of desire to be in control of your children's education, an acceptance of the duty, and a small amount of organizational skills.  It's not hard and there is no moral requirement to produce doctors or physicists.  

    Perhaps a lazy wife can be motivated through rewards like pretty clothes or small vacations and other gifts.  She might also need extra loving encouragement and affection.

    One last thing...never compare your wife to other women.  You will destroy her tender love for you and she will no longer trust you.  Rather help her to get organized and offer to purchase things to assist her with her tasks.  Show you care about her success and drop the entitled attitude.  I'm sure you fall short in her eyes with some of your duties and you wouldn't like it if she compared your to other men.

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  • I work full time (remotely), homeschool, and run my household.  I was not disciplined in my youth but my circumstances forced me to become so.  It's called maturing.  I also own my home, am financially solvent, and am building a legacy to leave to my children.  This was out of necessity because needs must when the devil drives.  I have no friends or family which might be of benefit to me in staying focused.  But I have a beautiful home that is comfortable and always clean.  I cook supper every night and we eat meals at the table.  There is daily prayer and weekly Mass.  It is possible to learn but only if you want to and need to.  By going out to work there will be no desire or need.  I do not agree that a job outside the home will teach self-discipline.  Most likely it will provide more opportunity for a lazy woman to become more worldly and focused on pleasure and entertainments.  

    Successful homeschooling is a matter of desire to be in control of your children's education, an acceptance of the duty, and a small amount of organizational skills.  It's not hard and there is no moral requirement to produce doctors or physicists.  

    Perhaps a lazy wife can be motivated through rewards like pretty clothes or small vacations and other gifts.  She might also need extra loving encouragement and affection.

    One last thing...never compare your wife to other women.  You will destroy her tender love for you and she will no longer trust you.  Rather help her to get organized and offer to purchase things to assist her with her tasks.  Show you care about her success and drop the entitled attitude.  I'm sure you fall short in her eyes with some of your duties and you wouldn't like it if she compared your to other men.
    Great post! I would give you thumbs up if I could.

    Offline Matthew

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  • In my personal, non-binding opinion, it's fine and even desirable for women to work until the first child comes along. A few points however:

    1. If she's just working at Wal-mart, target, or as a cashier, might as well not bother. You won't be socking away any money -- she might be spending as much or MORE than she's making, on clothes, makeup, extra car, gas, fast food, co-worker gift exchanges, extra money spent keeping up with co-workers, etc.  (My wife was working as a professional -- an accountant, albeit a lower-paid one -- so we cleared #1)

    Also don't forget the OPPORTUNITY COST of having your wife work. If she's working for "the man", she can't be cleaning, cooking, helping you save money, making clothes, calling businesses and researching stuff for you, helping you with bookkeeping, planning garage sales, SHOPPING garage sales, grocery shopping, you name it. If she works outside the home, you're on the hook for ALL that stuff. I guess what I'm saying is, not all women eat bon-bons and watch soap operas if they don't work outside the home. Some are industrious.

    2. You do want to make sure your wife isn't going to get tempted by all the men she will spend 8 hours a day with (way more than she spends with you). A good reason to bring her back home full-time during the newlywed phase of your marriage...

    3. You must NOT, under any circumstances, grow to depend on the wife's income! You must be ready to drop that income as soon as the first baby is born. I repeat, you must learn to live with a budget on ONLY the husband's income. All "her" income must be treated as a temporary windfall/bonus, and should go towards paying off debt, saving for a house, paying off your (first) mortgage, paying off student loan debt(s), building savings, etc.

    4. It's desirable for the wife to help you "get ahead" as it were, given the modern economy. It's SO difficult for young couples to get started compared to generations past. As great as it would be for your wife to greet you with a warm meal and a massage when you get home -- it would be better to use that first year to save up and get a running head start on REAL married life, which requires a lot of resources. You can't fit 10 kids in a 1400 square foot starter home! And did I mention that braces are about $5500 per kid?
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    Offline jvk

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  • As a woman who worked before marriage--and not after-- I want to add that working outside the home is an evil because: IT FOSTERS INDEPENDENCE.

    My husband and I had the most difficult times the first few years of our marriage, and it was related to the independence I unknowingly absorbed from working.  Of course, maybe all women wouldn't be this way, but I'd say the majority of them would.  

    There are many other things for a woman without children to do.  Volunteer, visit the sick/elderly, babysit friend's children so they can get out for an hour or so, cook for the stuck-at-home; not to mention cleaning, hobbies, etc.  


     

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