This is a complicated one.  We are praying about this, and have been...however I constantly have the feeling that I am meant to do something directly to affect this situation.  Please read and tell me what you think this thing I am supposed to do may be, if any.

I am one of two siblings, we are very close in age.  My brother is very unwell.  He was born with a lot of minor handicaps.  Hard of hearing, minor spinal problems, some eye problems.  My parents treated him as handicapped and demanded special concessions from the schools, etc.  He was treated as fragile, while he himself was very willful.

He grew into a big strong man, and even though his medical problems all resolved with treatment, he remained a bitter complainer for 20 more years.  He was always lazy, always trading on his 'disabled' status within the family, even though he had no disabilities any more.        

Being the older sister, I always looked down on him a bit, and always complained that he was 'getting away with it' as a child.  This dynamic has not changed.  He came to the now-aging family for help often, as he was 'disadvantaged' and needed extra support, and I complained that they were enabling him as always.

Now, the situation is much more extreme.  He had a major surgery a few years ago.  In the wake of this surgery, he has claimed that he feels a non-specific but serious pain.  He spent much, much longer than expected in recovery, as a result he was fired from his job.  He won a disability settlement from the employer, enough to allow him to get by.  He began to spend all of his time visiting doctors about his non-specific pain.  

After a year of this, he found a doctor who diagnosed him with fibromyalgia.  This diagnosis basically means "unexplained pain".  It is extremely controversial.  With my brother, however, I know what to look for.  Sure enough, he acts relatively normal if he thinks no one is watching him.  If someone is watching, he visibly hunches over and makes a pained expression on his face.  It's amazing and childish.  To put it simply, I am convinced he was and is faking.

His doctors have him on a serious oral narcotic.  He is rarely lucid.

So, now he does not work, and he collects a check from an insurance company that he will keep as long as he keeps his diagnosis.  He sits in his apartment, stoned out of his mind on legal prescription drugs, playing computer games and eating Chinese delivery food and rarely goes outside.  He has gained approx 200 lbs.  

It's almost over for him, I fear.  I think his doctors don't care (actually, I KNOW they don't) and now his health problems are multiplying.  A 450 lb man has heart and back problems.  This, I believe.  I think everyone, including our parents, have given up on him and are waiting for him to die, which at this rate he will do before age 40.      

I am alone in this situation in believing that it was all a lie from the beginning.  I don't believe he has pain that requires narcotics.  I see the same lying, scheming little kid that he always was, trying to get out of doing his homework by appealing to a medical problem.  

I could be wrong.  But, whether I'm right or whether I'm wrong, he's dying.  I have fantasies of kidnapping him and taking away to detox off of the drugs, everything, and starving him back to normal weight...but I weigh only a fraction of what he does and could never accomplish those things.  I'd need to hire two big strong men just to get him out of the apartment.  Besides, he'd probably die before he got better.  So, it's only a fantasy.

Does anyone have any advice for me?

Yep, wait.

You won't change him after all these years.  As you sow so shall you reap.  Leopards and spots.

Pray for him, that is all you can do.