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Author Topic: Second Marriages  (Read 1038 times)

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Änσnymσus

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Second Marriages
« on: October 23, 2014, 10:37:44 AM »
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  • Despite the fact that they are technically permitted, do you believe that a widow or widower should get married a second time?


    Offline TKGS

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    Second Marriages
    « Reply #1 on: October 23, 2014, 11:30:38 AM »
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  • Saint Thomas More, my patron, married a second time very soon after his first wife died.  He married an elderly widow.  He did so for a variety of reasons, though many biographers attribute his main reason as wishing to shut the door to the priesthood since a widower that marries a second time is canonically ineligible for the priesthood.  Though his desire for the priesthood was strong, he believed he would not be a good and holy priest.

    Each and every circuмstance is different.  The Church is wise in permitting a man or woman whose first spouse dies to remarry and no one should condemn such a decision nor even second guess it.

    On the other hand, I do not believe any person whose first marriage is annulled after about a year should ever remarry.  Frankly, it seems (anecdotally, anyway) that most of the time a person asks for an annulment is in order to appear to justify (regularize) a subsequent marriage or because the individual wishes to remarry in the Church.


    Änσnymσus

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    Second Marriages
    « Reply #2 on: October 23, 2014, 11:38:20 AM »
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  • yes, as long as the first spouse is dead. Also, the first and most important reason for marriage should be children.  

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    Second Marriages
    « Reply #3 on: October 23, 2014, 01:59:03 PM »
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  • St. Thomas Aquinas states that second marriages, while permitted, lack the honor and dignity of a first marriage, are not blessed, create a canonical irregularity for the individuals involved, and can even be considered a defective sacrament when compared with a first marriage.

    Quote from: Summa Theologica, Supplement to the Third Part
    Question 63. Second marriages
    Article 1. Whether a second marriage is lawful?

    Objection 1. It would seem that a second marriage is unlawful. Because we should judge of things according to truth. Now Chrysostom [Hom. xxxii in the Opus Imperfectum falsely ascribed to St. John Chrysostom] says that "to take a second husband is in truth fornication," which is unlawful. Therefore neither is a second marriage lawful.

    Objection 2. Further, whatever is not good is unlawful. Now Ambrose [On 1 Corinthians 7:40 and De Viduis] says that a second marriage is not good. Therefore it is unlawful.

    Objection 3. Further, no one should be debarred from being present at such things as are becoming and lawful. Yet priests are debarred from being present at second marriages, as stated in the text (Sent. iv, D, 42). Therefore they are unlawful.

    Objection 4. Further, no one incurs a penalty save for sin. Now a person incurs the penalty of irregularity on account of being married twice. Therefore a second marriage is unlawful.

    On the contrary, We read of Abraham having contracted a second marriage (Genesis 25:1).

    Further, the Apostle says (1 Timothy 5:14): "I will . . . that the younger," namely widows, "should marry, bear children." Therefore second marriages are lawful.

    I answer that, The marriage tie lasts only until death (Romans 7:2), wherefore at the death of either spouse the marriage tie ceases: and consequently when one dies the other is not hindered from marrying a second time on account of the previous marriage. Therefore not only second marriages are lawful, but even third and so on.

    Reply to Objection 1. Chrysostom is speaking in reference to the cause which is wont at times to incite a person to a second marriage, namely concupiscence which incites also to fornication.

    Reply to Objection 2. A second marriage is stated not to be good, not that it is unlawful, but because it lacks the honor of the signification which is in a first marriage, where one husband has one wife, as in the case of Christ and the Church.

    Reply to Objection 3. Men who are consecrated to Divine things are debarred not only from unlawful things, but even from things which have any appearance of turpitude; and consequently they are debarred from second marriages, which lack the decorum which was in a first marriage.

    Reply to Objection 4. Irregularity is not always incurred on account of a sin, and may be incurred through a defect in a sacrament ["Defectus sacramenti," i.e. defect of signification; Cf. 2, Objection 3]. Hence the argument is not to the point.

    Article 2. Whether a second marriage is a sacrament?

    Objection 1. It would seem that a second marriage is not a sacrament. For he who repeats a sacrament injures the sacrament. But no sacrament should be done an injury. Therefore if a second marriage were a sacrament, marriage ought nowise to be repeated.

    Objection 2. Further, in every sacrament some kind of blessing is given. But no blessing is given in a second marriage, as stated in the text (Sent. iv, D, 42). Therefore no sacrament is conferred therein.

    Objection 3. Further, signification is essential to a sacrament. But the signification of marriage is not preserved in a second marriage, because there is not a union of only one woman with only one man, as in the case of Christ and the Church. Therefore it is not a sacrament.

    Objection 4. Further, one sacrament is not an impediment to receiving another. But a second marriage is an impediment to receiving orders. Therefore it is not a sacrament.

    On the contrary, Marital intercourse is excused from sin in a second marriage even as in a first marriage. Now marital intercourse is excused [Cf. 69, 1 by the marriage goods which are fidelity, offspring, and sacrament. Therefore a second marriage is a sacrament.

    Further, irregularity is not contracted through a second and non-sacramental union, such as fornication. Yet irregularity is contracted through a second marriage. Therefore it is a sacramental union.

    I answer that, Wherever we find the essentials of a sacrament, there is a true sacrament. Wherefore, since in a second marriage we find all the essentials of the sacrament of marriage (namely the due matter--which results from the parties having the conditions prescribed by law--and the due form, which is the expression of the inward consent by words of the present), it is clear that a second marriage is a sacrament even as a first.

    Reply to Objection 1. This is true of a sacrament which causes an everlasting effect: for then, if the sacrament be repeated, it is implied that the first was not effective, and thus an injury is done to the first, as is clear in all those sacraments which imprint a character. But those sacraments which have not an everlasting effect can be repeated without injury to the sacrament, as in the case of Penance. And, since the marriage tie ceases with death, no injury is done to the sacrament if a woman marry again after her husband's death.

    Reply to Objection 2. Although the second marriage, considered in itself, is a perfect sacrament, yet if we consider it in relation to the first marriage, it is somewhat a defective sacrament, because it has not its full signification, since there is not a union of only one woman with only one man as in the marriage of Christ with the Church. And on account of this defect the blessing is omitted in a second marriage. This, however, refers to the case when it is a second marriage on the part of both man and woman, or on the part of the woman only. For if a virgin marry a man who has had another wife, the marriage is blessed nevertheless. Because the signification is preserved to a certain extent even in relation to the former marriage, since though Christ has but one Church for His spouse, there are many persons espoused to Him in the one Church. But the soul cannot be espoused to another besides Christ, else it commits fornication with the devil. Nor is there a spiritual marriage. For this reason when a woman marries a second time the marriage is not blessed on account of the defect in the sacrament.

    Reply to Objection 3. The perfect signification is found in a second marriage considered in itself, not however if it be considered in relation to the previous marriage, and it is thus that it is a defective sacrament.

    Reply to Objection 4. A second marriage in so far as there is a defect in the sacrament, but not as a sacrament, is an impediment to the sacrament of Order.

    Änσnymσus

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    Second Marriages
    « Reply #4 on: October 23, 2014, 02:17:27 PM »
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  • 'We do not prohibit second marriages, but, on the other hand, we do not advise them; for not all that is allowed is profitable. The widow has no command to remain a widow, but she is counseled to do so; and the counsel has not only been once given, but has been often repeated. Do not say: "I am without assistance." This is the customary excuse of her who wishes to re-marry. Neither should you say: "I am all alone." Loneliness is favorable to purity; the modest woman loves retirement; she who is not so, is anxious to go out and parade herself. You have, you say, business to transact? And are there no lawyers in the world? But you are in dread of enemies? Well, then, our Lord himself pleads your case before the judges and says to them: "Deal justly with the widow." You are anxious to save your property? Chastity is also a property of the highest value, and the widow keeps it far better than the married woman. Do you still wish you get married? You are allowed to do so. I make no inquiries with regard to your motives: why do you dissemble when giving them? If your reasons are virtuous, state them; if otherwise, be silent about them. Accuse neither your relatives, nor God, when you complain of want of support; do not say you marry for the sake of your children, while depriving them of a mother.'

    St. Ambrose of Milan

    'Alas! They allege, as reason for their marriage, the very thing that ought to prevent them from doing so; for, by her second marriage, the widow places over her children, not a father who will provide for them, but an enemy. If you have children, why marry again? And if you have none, does not experience teach you to fear a like barrenness in the future?'

    St. Jerome


    Offline poche

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    Second Marriages
    « Reply #5 on: October 23, 2014, 11:58:18 PM »
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  • St Paul recommended second marriages for younger widows.

    Änσnymσus

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    Second Marriages
    « Reply #6 on: October 24, 2014, 03:36:20 AM »
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  • Quote from: poche
    St Paul recommended second marriages for younger widows.


    RE: Timothy 5

    Ver. 13. Idle, & . He shews by what steps they fall. Neglecting their prayers, they give themselves to idleness; they go about visiting from house to house; they are carried away with curiosity to hear what passes, and speak what they ought not of their neighbour's faults. (Witham) --- The young widow that bears a resemblance with this portrait, is not less to be lamented on her own account than feared and shunned on account of others.

    Ver. 14. The younger [5] (widows) should marry. They who understand this of a command or exhortation to all widows to marry, make St. Paul contradict himself, and the advice he gave to widows 1 Corinthians vii. where he says, (ver. 40.) She (the widow) will be happy if she so remain according to my counsel; and when it is there said, I would have all to be as myself. [See the notes on those places.] He can therefore only mean such young widows, of whom he is speaking, that are like to do worse. Thus it is expounded by St. Jerome to Sabina:[6] "Let her rather take a husband than the devil." And in another epistle, to Ageruchia: "It is better to take a second husband than many adulterers." St. Chrysostom[7] on this verse: I will, or would have such to marry, because they themselves will do it. See also St. Augustine,[8] de Bono viduitatis, chap. viii. (Witham)

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    Second Marriages
    « Reply #7 on: October 24, 2014, 09:04:29 AM »
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  • Quote from: TKGS
    Each and every circuмstance is different.  The Church is wise in permitting a man or woman whose first spouse dies to remarry and no one should condemn such a decision nor even second guess it.


    Yes, that is the Catholic sense.


    Änσnymσus

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    Second Marriages
    « Reply #8 on: October 24, 2014, 09:18:22 AM »
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  • One has to remember that widowhood is a holy state in life, due special respect on earth and in Heaven.