Dear Friends of tradition,

I recently met a woman and she is a widow for several years.  She is really great and I like her a lot.
In 1986 at the age of 20 she was drugged and date raped. Not long after this happened she met a guy and got married.
The marriage lasted only a few months. From what I understand this is a typical response when this happens to a young girl. She did not tell her parents or go to the police until years later. She began therapy to try and heal this horrific event. She was a Protestant and was not baptized when all this happened. In 1994 she met a catholic man converted
to the faith and was baptized. She went through the process of annulment, got married and raised a family.
I wanted some thoughts on if this is a legit reason for an annulment?
I did talk to a traditional priest.

Talking to a traditional priest is really the best way to go.  I am glad to hear that you already have approached that route.

From what I understand, many protestants don't believe in the permanency of marriage and that is often grounds for annulment. However...  Every case and situation is different.  

Prayers for you and the widow lady.  

Are you considering this woman as a potential marriage partner? Or do you just want to help her clarify the status of her previous marriage for her peace of mind?

If you are thinking of marrying her, please read this:

1 Corinthians 7

39 A woman is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband die, she is at liberty: let her marry to whom she will; only in the Lord. 40 But more blessed shall she be, if she so remain [a widow], according to my counsel; and I think that I also have the spirit of God.

No need to answer anything I say below. I am just suggesting food for thought.

If you and she have no interest in the procreation and rearing of children (she is almost 60 years old), why do you want to get "married?" To have a friend to do things with? You don't have to be "married" for that.

Have you considered that her existing children (if she has any) may not want a new man in their mother's life? A step-parent complicates things in families. A mother that was previously dedicated to her children/grandchildren is now distracted from those activities by a new man who is not the natural parent of those children/grandchildren. This can create problems.

If your purpose is to remedy concupiscence, have you considered other ways of dealing with that problem, such as increasing prayer and penance to receive the grace to be free from slavery to those desires? You say she has trauma from a previous sɛҳuąƖ experience. Does she really need to get back into that kind of thing? Will this always be sore spot in the relationship?

By courting this woman, you are encouraging her to move from a "more blessed" condition (widowhood), according to St. Paul, into a less blessed condition. Yes, what St. Paul says is "of counsel," not of the law. But have you carefully considered his words?

God's ways are not our ways. Always try to conform to His counsels, if possible. May God bless you in your effort.

Are you considering this woman as a potential marriage partner? Or do you just want to help her clarify the status of her previous marriage for her peace of mind?

If you are thinking of marrying her, please read this:

1 Corinthians 7
No need to answer anything I say below. I am just suggesting food for thought.

If you and she have no interest in the procreation and rearing of children (she is almost 60 years old), why do you want to get "married?" To have a friend to do things with? You don't have to be "married" for that.

Have you considered that her existing children (if she has any) may not want a new man in their mother's life? A step-parent complicates things in families. A mother that was previously dedicated to her children/grandchildren is now distracted from those activities by a new man who is not the natural parent of those children/grandchildren. This can create problems.

If your purpose is to remedy concupiscence, have you considered other ways of dealing with that problem, such as increasing prayer and penance to receive the grace to be free from slavery to those desires? You say she has trauma from a previous sɛҳuąƖ experience. Does she really need to get back into that kind of thing? Will this always be sore spot in the relationship?

By courting this woman, you are encouraging her to move from a "more blessed" condition (widowhood), according to St. Paul, into a less blessed condition. Yes, what St. Paul says is "of counsel," not of the law. But have you carefully considered his words?

God's ways are not our ways. Always try to conform to His counsels, if possible. May God bless you in your effort.

I always wonder about this. If the marriage is for procreation, why do old people get married (again)? Would it be a Josephine marriage? What do traditional priests say about that?