Your pastor likely won't be of any help, but part of the problem, too. Most pastors these days are eunuchs, subversives and / or apathetic.

It's not quite that simple.
The worst SJWs still quote the alphabet soup, "LGBT..." guess what the B stands for?
It's

Lesbian
gαy
BisɛҳuąƖ
Transgendered

I've never heard a single leftist/SJW rail against or even complain about the term "bisɛҳuąƖ". I'm open to correction, if you can point me to one. At most, the term is less fashionable than "pansɛҳuąƖ". It's so 20 years ago. So while the term is not forbidden or frowned upon, would-be bisɛҳuąƖs are nevertheless guided into different, more hip labels nowadays.

First off, you sound like you need a hug, and a friend to pray with you.

Second off, my first piece of advice is chill. I mean it... just relax, and listen to her. The more you listen to her talk about this the more you’ll learn her feelings on it. Sometimes the hardest thing to do as a parent is just sit quietly, and let the fear rage on the inside only. My second piece of advice is. She needs her dad. Girls need to have quality time with their dads. Some ideas would be coffee dates, movie dates, ice skating, since the holidays are coming up they could go out to shop for fun decorations for her room. Or maybe start making a pack to go to confession once a week during advent. Get those graces up! Also, family advent candle lighting. My husband is new to the whole practicing faith thing, but I started since we were married having him say prayers on all Sunday’s during advent (or lent) when we light the candles. It’s amazing bonding time for the family. He needs to make all his time pressure free, and not make this issues the center of “date.” Just act natural, and talk about God, His love for us, what He expects from us. Family catechism study is another good idea. Third, just pray, and monitor what you can at home. Watch the internet, watch the phone, watch the tv. There are some great routers that will give you files on all the families search websites including the ones that are in the hidden browser. Please, talk to your priest, and get support for your family. You can do this guys! She’s only 12, and that’s not to late to Guide her!

I’m not brainwashed, and I actually care. She needs to be heard so the mom knows what friends are putting this in her head (if they are, what the source of her confusion is, and if she needs to get more help. The young thing is 12, and still a baby. I wonder if you have kids because the more you yell, and force the less they listen. They will fight back which leaves unpleasant feelings all around. This is also a young girl we are talking about, and the bigger you make an issue the more she will buck, fight, and push away until she goes so far you loose all hope. Take it from someone who did.

As a father, I know this much: my children obey me before I ever even have to raise my voice. That's part and parcel of fatherly discipline. They don't want it to get to the point where I'm raising my voice. Any household where the parents are having to choose between yelling and bargaining to get their children to listen is one where the father is either absent altogether, or else he is an emasculated weakling who might as well be.

Your referring to a 12 year old as "a baby' is also very telling. Our Lady was not much older when she bore Our Lord. If 12 year olds are "babies" perhaps its only logical that adolescence has been extended into the 30's.

No one said anything about "coming down hard on them", the spirit of rebellion most often comes from outside influences, most often peer pressure/brainwashing at school/internet/TV etc, which are then ingrained into the mind of the child and practiced against all authority - parents inparticular.
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And please note, that's what a 12 year old girl is, a child - not a baby. Do you try to unravel what goes on inside the mind of a baby? or do you already know and even anticipate what the baby needs? The same applies to the child, particularly when the child believes she is a perverted queer. What exactly is the purpose that the adult needs to dialogue with the child when the obvious is manifest?