When St Therese woke to find her sheets blood stained, which meant she would probably die soon from consumption, she rejoiced in her heart. Death meant life everlasting with God.
Suicidal thoughts however are always from the devil.
A good saint to research for more on that trial is St Mary Magdalene de Pazzi.
She suffered a great deal in her life and was struck with suicidal thoughts and temptations.
Her motto became, "To suffer and not to die!"
I pray to become more like her.
Will say a prayer for you as well.
