I broke celibacy out of wedlock. I haven't slept. I am ashamed.
I have been alone which is no good excuse. I have entire lives depending on my alert presence which is gone. I have prayed and asked forgiveness and feel myself returning slowly to a state of grace again.
I have been depressed the past few days and everything culminated. I never want to fall again.
All I ask is you pray. The whole rack in my closet came down lightly getting a shirt off the hanger. I am a hypocrite, a false teacher, and a scuмbag for being too weak to handle easy responsibility. I will take the harshest punishment available spiritually for this incredible stupidity I have done nothing but warn against ever since discovering it. More than for me, pray for the few people depending on my spiritual clarity, that they may receive it from another source or God themselves. My dear friends, how have I let them down? Curse my being O God. I am irresponsible. I need to prove I deserve responsibility again. I have forgiven myself but it will take time to return back to normal after such a horrible display of selfishness. St. Thomas Aquinas, Jesus, Joseph, St. John of God, Agnes, all of the Saints I've let down.