I can empathize. It must be very difficult at the chapel.
The pain is much worse when you are young. As you get older and it becomes apparent that God has a different plan for your life than you did, you come to terms with it in a way. You may not like it, you may be angry about it, but this is the cross that God chose especially for your salvation and you do not know the degree of reward waiting for you in Heaven. I can't even offer a conjecture because it is beyond our understanding and even if we could comprehend it's difficult to get beyond the anger and searing pain. You are right. Few can really understand.
All I know is that I avoid Mother's Day and learned to numb myself to get by.
We never know what the future holds and situations can change in an instant.