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Author Topic: Please pray for me  (Read 16835 times)

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Änσnymσus

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Re: Please pray for me
« Reply #65 on: September 09, 2019, 09:27:56 AM »
You never should have married this man but you have to sleep in the bed you made. Do you love your husband? Pray and make sacrifices for him. Now to practical matters. I've been married for 31
Op here
Yes, I will pray and offer sacrifices.
Of course I love him. Its out of qyestion.
As the priest said, he has suffered a lot, but he is fine now. And that is important to me.
I m not nagging all day, I wasnt raised to do this. I was raised to obey hubby, not to be all day giving him problems.... its not my style.
 

Änσnymσus

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Re: Please pray for me
« Reply #66 on: September 09, 2019, 09:37:16 AM »
Stop fighting. Men will forgive a lot if they love their wife but they never get over the feeling of betrayal if they think you trapped or lied them into marriage. If you knew how he felt before the wedding then marrying him was assent to his views. Make your home a wonderful place and he MIGHT one day get the feeling that having you at home all day would be a good thing. If all you do is fight about it he will back into a corner and if his family and friends, (most especially his friends),  start telling him that you are being lazy at home and not adding anything of value to his life, then your hopes for being an at home wife and mother will be dashed for good. Ultimately you have to sleep in the bed that you made and make the best of it. 


Änσnymσus

  • Guest
Re: Please pray for me
« Reply #67 on: September 09, 2019, 12:55:57 PM »
Op here.
Thank you for your answer.

We dont fight about this. There were SOME soft disagreements but not properly fights. I wasnt raised to fight hubby and hubby doesnt want to fight.

If I have to describe the situation: both of us now our disagreements but no one is going to fight with the other.

I really care about hubby and he is the one in charge.

That doesnt mean I cannot be worried, or talk to Father X, or talk about this in this anonymous subforum. But we are not fighting all the time.

It was good to hear advice from good traditional catholics at this forum because I cannot talk about this with other people face to face about it,except with a priest.

Ps. I never lied to hubby. I always told him about my views. Father X believes its a matter of time.

Re: Please pray for me
« Reply #68 on: September 10, 2019, 07:38:35 PM »
OP here

Thank you so much for your replies.

Well...

1. I have never criticized my mother in love and I will never do. Is out of question so dont worry about that.
2. He wants two incomes because he likes a good life style.
3. We dont have the necessity of two incomes, all our bassic needs are supplied with his income.
4. I dont earn so much money as him, but he has the view that a womam needs to develop herself and the only way to do this is working outside home (as his mother did).
5. He despise being a home maker.
6. I dont have trouble working now (I would be happy at home because , anyway) but I will not be happy going to work and leaving a baby at a day care.
7.yes, Im anxious. I dont have people to talk about this. My mother believes as my hubby, and I could not go outside telling people my marriage problems, is out of question. I could not talk about this to my friends ... I think its disrespectful to my hubby. I can post here about it, but its anonymous.
8. I dont want to be the one in charge. I only said to him that he has to respect my views about motherhood because if I dont do that, Im lost. He will never agree about this and he will go on talking about how mothers who stay at home dont develop themselves.
9. I said to him to please respect my view, not to do what I want. Its different. Of course I have to do what he wants, he is the hubby. If I get pregnant soon, I have to do what he says (working outside home).
10. Working from home its not an option... I could not make the money I earn now and he will not see it as a real job (for him, a job is working outside, having a boss, being recognized, etc)
11. Yeah, we jave trad friends. But he dont  agree with all things trads do...
12. He even didnt want children before I could have settled at my job...then he changed his opinion.

I will obbey my husband's decisions, its out of question.
you can't obey his decisions if they go against the catholic faith, how about you take the approach that when you actually do have kids you simply stay home and take care of them, have your priest tell him the wife's duty is to stay home with the kids, maybe look into  doing  some on line business at home

Re: Please pray for me
« Reply #69 on: September 10, 2019, 10:51:47 PM »
About the "dont live in the future" point I agree, but a woman wants to make future plans about home, children and a lot of things. I can't plsn anything, even about a home, and it's very hard. But that's another thing and I  don't want to discuss it.

But you are still living in the future. The future is not. Only the present is.

Can you not embrace the present. You are wearing yourself out with nothing substantial. You have a work life and a home life, but it seems that is not enough for you. What about filling your time caring for someone else to take your mind off worrying about your husband faults?  Some volunteer or charity work?