CathInfo.com

You say that you love him very much, but you're depressed, mentioning divorce, obviously regretting your decision to marry, advising people not to let their daughters marry into this type of situation.

Here's the problem.  Your "love" is entirely on the emotional level.  You never really saw eye-to-eye INTELLECTUALLY.  You love him with your emotions but do not love him with your intellect and will.  So your emotions are at odds with your intellect, and this is what is causing your distress and your depression.  You are being torn in two different directions.  You have an emotional attachment to the man ... because of his look or personality or something else.  But you do not have an attachment to him intellectually or with your will.  This split between your intellect/will and your emotions is undoubtedly the cause of your depression and your anxiety.

But you MUST find a way to settle the intellect and the will ... or you're done.  No marriage can be sustained on emotion alone.  That stuff fades very quickly.  I suspect that the minute these emotions wear off (and they will), you'll be calling a divorce attorney.

So how do you quiet your intellect and will?  You must accept the fact that now subjection to your husband is in fact God's will.  By submitting to him, you are in fact submitting to God.  Now see a priest if you think he's crossing a line where you cannot comply in good conscience with something.  But apart from that, you must make the resolution of your intellect and will to submit to him.  Your decision to marry him is in the past.  NOW it is your obligation to submit.  View this submission to him as submission to God.  If this causes you some pain, offer it to God for his mind to be changed for the better.  You say that he must respect your opinions, but now that you are subject to him, that respect weights entirely in his favor.  While he SHOULD in charity listen to what you have to say, ultimately it is you who must submit to him ... and not the other way around.  I suspect that when you suggest he has to respect you're opinion, you're hoping that he'll give in to yours.

OP here

Thank you so much for your replies.

Well...

1. I have never criticized my mother in love and I will never do. Is out of question so dont worry about that.
2. He wants two incomes because he likes a good life style. 
3. We dont have the necessity of two incomes, all our bassic needs are supplied with his income.
4. I dont earn so much money as him, but he has the view that a womam needs to develop herself and the only way to do this is working outside home (as his mother did).
5. He despise being a home maker. 
6. I dont have trouble working now (I would be happy at home because , anyway) but I will not be happy going to work and leaving a baby at a day care.
7.yes, Im anxious. I dont have people to talk about this. My mother believes as my hubby, and I could not go outside telling people my marriage problems, is out of question. I could not talk about this to my friends ... I think its disrespectful to my hubby. I can post here about it, but its anonymous.
8. I dont want to be the one in charge. I only said to him that he has to respect my views about motherhood because if I dont do that, Im lost. He will never agree about this and he will go on talking about how mothers who stay at home dont develop themselves.
9. I said to him to please respect my view, not to do what I want. Its different. Of course I have to do what he wants, he is the hubby. If I get pregnant soon, I have to do what he says (working outside home).
10. Working from home its not an option... I could not make the money I earn now and he will not see it as a real job (for him, a job is working outside, having a boss, being recognized, etc)
11. Yeah, we jave trad friends. But he dont  agree with all things trads do... 
12. He even didnt want children before I could have settled at my job...then he changed his opinion.

I will obbey my husband's decisions, its out of question.

12. He even didnt want children before I could have settled at my job...then he changed his opinion.

Are you using contraception? I don't see how you could delay children otherwise, unless you're abstaining entirely. 
I think you need to make clear to him that the reason you don't want to work is because you're anxious about childcare and what they might be subjected to if they have to go to daycare. You may have to continue working, but I'm sure there's some solution you can come to.