As I wrote before, it's absolutely imperative that you submit to him and respect him. Respect doesn't just mean lip-service, where you bite your lip as steam comes out of your ears. It means a genuine, sincere deference and respect ... and honor. This does not mean you agree with everything he's doing. You will find that it will be 10x more likely that he will listen to your opinions and take them into account, and even defer to them, if he sees you regularly showing him respect and deference and submission. If, on the other hand, you fight him and pick away, he's only going to dig his heels in deeper as he tries to defend his prerogative as head of the family.
It's not unlike the respect we owe a priest. We recognize their authority, and we see God in them ... which doesn't necessarily mean that we agree with everything they say or do. But we tip our head and say, "Good Morning, Father" as we walk by him.
As I said, you should joyfully and sincerely submit to his will in view of his authority ... even if you don't agree with it. How can you be joyful? Because you are in fact submitting to GOD's will THROUGH him. So his authority is giving you the opportunity to submit to God. In that way you can find joy in submission. Sometimes the greater the cost of giving up you own will, the greater the joy. Consequently, you will be able to find JOY in giving up your own will and see it as a happy occasion of grace, an opportunity to submit to God's will when it hurts to do so. What merit is there in a "submission" where you always get your way?
If you practice this, respecting him as God's will in your life, then you will find joy also in your intellect and will ... and then you'll no longer be torn by your emotions conflicting with your will.
When I was a seminarian, a priest asked me one evening after dinner, "Would you like to empty the garbage?" I responded ,"No," with a smile, but immediately added, "but I'll do it anyway." Father smiled back because he understood the point I was making. As I took out the garbage, did I enjoy the activity by itself? No. But, on another level, it gave me GREAT JOY to do it because in doing it, I wasn't just taking out the garbage, but I was doing God's will as expressed in the authority of the priest. How joyfully we would comply with a direct order from Our Lord, if He were to appear to us. If JESUS had asked me to take out the garbage, I would have bounded up out of my chair to do it immediately. But, in point of fact, He WAS asking me to take out the garbage through the authority of the priest, no differently than if He had appeared and asked me directly Himself.
Similarly, while you do not enjoy or agree with working, take joy in submitting to your husband and deferring to his will, since you are deferring to the will of God. If your husband sees this in you, joyfully deferring to his will, and saying, "I don't agree with this, but I am happy to do it because I love you and I respect your authority, and I put aside my own desires for you," .... there's a very high chance that he would be so moved by this that, at least in time, especially after you have children, he would insist that you quit. Only a beast with a heart of stone would not be moved by that.
Now, you might say, it's not just because I don't like working, but because I don't think it's right. Since there's nothing intrinsically evil about a woman working. If it gets the point that you think there's something intrinsically against your conscience, then bring a priest into it. But whether it's because you don't want to do it or you don't think it's ideal, the same principles as above apply. You give up your own will in subjection to your husband, find joy in THAT, even if you don't find joy in the activity itself, and you will find peace ... rather than his depression and anxiety.
Topic: Please pray for me (Read 3397 times)