Marriage is a far more attractive proposition than it used to be, and therefore, if there is a religious vocation, it gets drowned out by the various things that are perceived to be appealing about modern marriage.  (I said "if there is..." --- it's possible, in our faithless age, that Almighty God is simply not calling these people.  I won't dogmatize either way.  That's out of my wheelhouse.)

Before the modern era, marriage for a Catholic meant entering into a union where, even with use of the "rhythm method", more children would come than would be desired or convenient.  The man would have to work hard all of his life, possibly even dying young due to work-related injury or illness (my own grandfather, who was not Catholic, died young for that very reason, and it is highly unlikely that my grandparents "used anything").  The woman would have a very hard life of raising all those children, having more pregnancies than she would have preferred, and would have to put massive amounts of effort into maintaining a home and large family.  Moreover, divorce was impossible --- if the marriage went sour, you were stuck.  Looking at it this way --- and, as I mentioned in another recent posting, you then get this blubbering from "Novus Ordo Puritans" that "oh, no, no, a vocation has to be pure, it has to be solely from the highest motives" --- the priesthood or religious life doesn't look so bad.  You get an education, you get a career, you have lifetime job security, your work isn't herculean, really, aside from having to give up sɛҳuąƖ relations --- let's just call it like it is --- it's really a pretty sweet, fairly easy life.  And if those sɛҳuąƖ relations --- again, let's just call it like it is --- are going to get you in all that trouble, make your life so difficult, maybe it's easier just to turn off that aspect of your life, and be done with it.

But now you have an entirely different marriage paradigm.  You get to have one, two, three kids tops, basically, you can order children like you order pizzas, you have them when you want to and not a moment sooner, and when you're done, one or the other "gets fixed", says "I've been blessed, I'm done having kids", and it's sex on demand for life without consequences.  One big party!  And if the marriage goes south?  Easy peasy, get the divorce, start "dating" again (in the secular world and the world of cafeteria religionists, premarital chastity is unknown, it's pretty much sex by the third date, fifth or sixth "if you have good morals"), usually end up moving in with one another, lather, rinse, repeat.  Marriage ends up being pretty much one big date and one endless good time, with a fun-sized family, or if you don't want kids at all, hey, that's okay too, just enjoy one another.  You can go to Mass (the Novus Ordo), receive communion, either never go to confession, or go and don't bring up the contraception thing --- you'll probably never be asked --- fun, fun, fun, rockin' in the free world!  When you can have a life like that, then a priestly or religious vocation is going to be absolutely, positively, the last thing you would ever think about.

I don't think it's any more complicated than that.

I have given some thought on starting a thread about this, but I do not want it to be misleading. Adults who have been married for over ten years should give their insight. Bigger parishes are bit of an issue because more gossip, more bias, more competition. Everyone attempts to be like everyone else; young ladies tend to dress to impress with their floral dresses and high heels, and plastered faces, which a priest has said “women tend to do, in order to find a husband. That is not a proper approach to matrimony.” Why do young girls appear to be petty and unfriendly when it comes to finding a husband, and why do men appear to be aggressive when having girls present? It seems to be getting out of hand. I have seen matchmaking happen in parishes, and that is really the downfall for an unhappy marriage on the price of matchmaking from the start. This is not why God instituted the Sacrament, and it is not to be meddled with. Marriage is not play time, but do these young people know this? Such a rush into things might explain that chastity is not in order. Priests have no choice but to witness the marriage of a young couple, in which the bride had become pregnant.

Once young people graduate from traditional schools, they immediately begin to date. These unchaste courtships have lead to passionate kissing; to the touching of thighs; to late hours out together and even in apartments. Bigger parishes more the gossip. Where are the chaperones? Where is the purity being put into practice? We are not talking about fallen human nature here. Indeed it plays a part, but has marriage become a trend? Catholics should behave better than the person down the street who has multiple partners. It is only natural to marry, but among our sons and daughters, how natural is it to them? Do they wish to marry well or must they marry because all their friends are, and because the whole parish is doing it? This is quite serious. 

Where are the priestly and Religious vocations? There are none, because everyone wants to marry. If there were any, the selfishness of the individual prevented it. In Vocations written by a pre-Vatican II priest states, “Once in a vocation, always in it”. He goes on to say that if one deliberately chose to enter a state in life or attempt a vocation (which they knew was not for them), but did it out of selfish motives, it is too late. He gave an example that if a man chose to become priest purely to provide for himself, it is too late. This does not mean God will not provide the graces, because He does. Another priest commented on so many young people marrying that “If they had just waited, a possible higher calling would have revealed itself.”

I have given some thought on starting a thread about this, but I do not want it to be misleading. Adults who have been married for over ten years should give their insight. Bigger parishes are bit of an issue because more gossip, more bias, more competition. Everyone attempts to be like everyone else; young ladies tend to dress to impress with their floral dresses and high heels, and plastered faces, which a priest has said “women tend to do, in order to find a husband. That is not a proper approach to matrimony.” Why do young girls appear to be petty and unfriendly when it comes to finding a husband, and why do men appear to be aggressive when having girls present? It seems to be getting out of hand. I have seen matchmaking happen in parishes, and that is really the downfall for an unhappy marriage on the price of matchmaking from the start. This is not why God instituted the Sacrament, and it is not to be meddled with. Marriage is not play time, but do these young people know this? Such a rush into things might explain that chastity is not in order. Priests have no choice but to witness the marriage of a young couple, in which the bride had become pregnant.

Once young people graduate from traditional schools, they immediately begin to date. These unchaste courtships have lead to passionate kissing; to the touching of thighs; to late hours out together and even in apartments. Bigger parishes more the gossip. Where are the chaperones? Where is the purity being put into practice? We are not talking about fallen human nature here. Indeed it plays a part, but has marriage become a trend? Catholics should behave better than the person down the street who has multiple partners. It is only natural to marry, but among our sons and daughters, how natural is it to them? Do they wish to marry well or must they marry because all their friends are, and because the whole parish is doing it? This is quite serious. 

Where are the priestly and Religious vocations? There are none, because everyone wants to marry. If there were any, the selfishness of the individual prevented it. In Vocations written by a pre-Vatican II priest states, “Once in a vocation, always in it”. He goes on to say that if one deliberately chose to enter a state in life or attempt a vocation (which they knew was not for them), but did it out of selfish motives, it is too late. He gave an example that if a man chose to become priest purely to provide for himself, it is too late. This does not mean God will not provide the graces, because He does. Another priest commented on so many young people marrying that “If they had just waited, a possible higher calling would have revealed itself.”

In fact, some seem to reach a point where they discount marriage or religious life in their mid 20's or 30's, and dive into long college educations or very intense jobs that require 100% attention and energy at all times. Basically, they marry careers, some of which are more virtuous or charitable pursuits than others. While there is no doubt that some may be meant to be single or end up without a marriage/religious vocation due to various circuмstances, the numbers of single trads in these chapels who were/are not interested in religious life or marriage seems somewhat disproportionate.

Hansel, what do you suggest for the adult who reaches his or her mid-20s through 40s and older, with neither religious vocation nor marriage prospect? With no education or training to be able to support him/herself?  If there is no need (or aptitude) for home care of elderly parents or younger siblings, the parents wish to enjoy their older years in a smaller home together, not living with an adult child child who, no matter how helpful around the house, lacks the skill and training to support him, or more likely, herself, is this good for anyone?  What about when the parents pass away?  Sure, maybe the house can be passed on, but can the single person support herself to continue living there after an entire lifetime?  Maybe a sibling or nephew can better use a large house for a family.  Then what has been the mission or purpose of the single old maid or geezer on the shelf?  IMO, a single life of service to others in the world, whether or not it involves university, is just the thing.  Just because a person, female especially, studies in university doesn’t mean she’s married to it!

Also, unfortunately, marriages of the sspx, sede, resistance and independent can be annulled very easily.  I always encourage such marriages to be re-done, so to speak, at the FSSP or NO, just to make sure annulment is more difficult.