Author Topic: PARENTING ADVICE: Should I charge my son rent? (Read 1425 times)

Änσnymσus · « **on:** November 13, 2013, 02:05:50 PM »

My son is 22 (or thereabouts) and he lives at home. He works, has a job. Likes to hang out with friends and drink beer. He goes to the TLM on Sundays and every single Holy Day of Obligation.

What say you?

Should I charge him rent?

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #1 on:** November 13, 2013, 02:08:20 PM »

Yes, been there and done it. Nothing wrong in it. And teaches him to keep his bills paid and such and appreciation for a roof over his head. Keep rules! Be careful about keys to the house and the friends that he keeps and when he needs to be home and etc. Keep rules!

TKGS · « **Reply #2 on:** November 13, 2013, 02:18:14 PM »

No. But, as an adult family member living at home, he should help pay some of the household expenses. Charging rent would make you a landlord and change his responsibilities from that of son to renter. Furthermore, rent would be taxable income for you.

My oldest son pays his own direct expenses (e.g., gas for the car, insurance, etc.) and assists with some of the household expenses (e.g., groceries, electric, etc.). It might seem a little like rent money, but it is not. His income is part of the household income. The rest of the money he makes at his place of employment is largely being banked to pay for his expenses in the seminary which he will be entering in January. If he were not intending to enter the seminary, he would be paying more of the household expenses than he currently does and he would be looking for other housing arrangements.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #3 on:** November 13, 2013, 02:21:25 PM »

Quote from: TKGS

The rest of the money he makes at his place of employment is largely being banked to pay for his expenses in the seminary which he will be entering in January.

That's great that your son is going to the seminary. Which seminary will he be going to?

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #4 on:** November 13, 2013, 02:26:59 PM »

No but he should be helping out and pitching in with work around the house and with money to help out. Utilities, grocery, etc. are not unreasonable. Does he use your car? It isn't unreasonable to ask him to help with car maintenance if he does use it.

If you think rent would teach him a lesson, consider putting it into an account for him and giving it back to him when he enters the married state or needs it to train for a job.

ggreg · « **Reply #5 on:** November 13, 2013, 03:11:06 PM »

I agree, get him to open an account in his name, keep the login password or passbook yourself and make him save the equivalent of the rent as a discipline.

No tax liability for you and if he gets married or pursues a vocation he then has something to help him get started.

parentsfortruth · « **Reply #6 on:** November 13, 2013, 04:07:12 PM »

Quote from: ggreg

I agree, get him to open an account in his name, keep the login password or passbook yourself and make him save the equivalent of the rent as a discipline.

No tax liability for you and if he gets married or pursues a vocation he then has something to help him get started.

This is what my dad did for me.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #7 on:** November 13, 2013, 04:15:23 PM »

Yes. It will teach him financial responsibility and contribution to the household.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #8 on:** November 13, 2013, 04:47:34 PM »

We charge our adult son rent.

Matthew · « **Reply #9 on:** November 13, 2013, 04:58:37 PM »

It's a harsh but necessary message to teach our grown children (mostly the sons): Childhood is over at 18. It was great not having much responsibility, being able to play all day, not having to worry about work, bills, taxes, college, resumes, taking care of a house -- but welcome to the real world.

Teaching your son this lesson would be doing him a great service.

For better or worse, childhood ends at 18. Even if a child stays at home, he is still not a child and God does not want him to "play" anymore. He has other duties of state to attend to. He needs to be studying, working, apprenticing, working at a degree, or something along those lines. He should network and socialize with those in his field of interest. And for heaven's sake, help your son find out what he wants to be when he grows up! Parents need to assist their children a bit with choosing a career. Parents shouldn't be so hands-off in this category. The world is a lot more complicated than it was in the past.

But, long story short, he needs to be a man, not a boy -- as fun as being a boy was.

Frances · « **Reply #10 on:** November 13, 2013, 06:21:51 PM »

If you'd like your son to be exactly as he is now at age 50, by all means, let him play for free under your roof!

Sigismund · « **Reply #11 on:** November 13, 2013, 07:40:46 PM »

Quote from: TKGS

No. But, as an adult family member living at home, he should help pay some of the household expenses. Charging rent would make you a landlord and change his responsibilities from that of son to renter. Furthermore, rent would be taxable income for you.

My oldest son pays his own direct expenses (e.g., gas for the car, insurance, etc.) and assists with some of the household expenses (e.g., groceries, electric, etc.). It might seem a little like rent money, but it is not. His income is part of the household income. The rest of the money he makes at his place of employment is largely being banked to pay for his expenses in the seminary which he will be entering in January. If he were not intending to enter the seminary, he would be paying more of the household expenses than he currently does and he would be looking for other housing arrangements.

That seems like excellent advice.

Where is your son going to go to seminary?

Having had a son in seminary myself, I feel especially motivated to pray for you and him. I hope his experience ends as happily as my son's did.

Jaynek · « **Reply #12 on:** November 13, 2013, 07:53:28 PM »

Quote from: Matthew

It's a harsh but necessary message to teach our grown children (mostly the sons): Childhood is over at 18. It was great not having much responsibility, being able to play all day, not having to worry about work, bills, taxes, college, resumes, taking care of a house -- but welcome to the real world.

Teaching your son this lesson would be doing him a great service.

For better or worse, childhood ends at 18. Even if a child stays at home, he is still not a child and God does not want him to "play" anymore. He has other duties of state to attend to. He needs to be studying, working, apprenticing, working at a degree, or something along those lines. He should network and socialize with those in his field of interest. And for heaven's sake, help your son find out what he wants to be when he grows up! Parents need to assist their children a bit with choosing a career. Parents shouldn't be so hands-off in this category. The world is a lot more complicated than it was in the past.

But, long story short, he needs to be a man, not a boy -- as fun as being a boy was.

I actually read this out loud to my 18 year old son. Thank you for expressing this so well.

Änσnymσus · « **Reply #13 on:** November 14, 2013, 01:15:23 AM »

Quote from: Guest

My son is 22 (or thereabouts) and he lives at home. He works, has a job. Likes to hang out with friends and drink beer. He goes to the TLM on Sundays and every single Holy Day of Obligation.

What say you?

Should I charge him rent?

If he is not in school then he should pay rent.

Nadir · « **Reply #14 on:** November 14, 2013, 02:06:49 AM »

Do you own your home, or are you paying it off or are you renting?

In all cases he should contibute to the cost of having a home.

If it's rent, he should pay a share.
If you're paying the bank, he should help to bring the debt down.
If you own your home, there are still expenses. He should contribute to the household expenses.

I wouldn't call it rent. He would be just pulling his weight to make the home a good place to be. He owes you that, at least.

Author Topic: PARENTING ADVICE: Should I charge my son rent? (Read 1425 times)

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