It might be best for traditional Catholic men not to marry until the fathers start doing their job. That will certainly get the attention of the clergy, fathers, and young women. Besides, it is not justice to require the young men to clean up the mess another group made.
So far the contradictory advice young men have received:
1. Men should go up to women and ask for their number.
2. Don't go to the indult just to check out the ladies. So he should act effeminate and dance around the issue of why he is there.
He certainly isn't there to attend Mass. What should his motivation be?
Not marrying because fathers don’t do their job is cutting off one's nose to spite one’s face. I dare say most fathers don’t know they are supposed to help their daughters and sons find a spouse. Most have no idea of how to do that, hence the reason for singles’ meet ups. At least someone is doing something, however successful or not. Priests are aware of the situation and are trying to take action.
Meet-ups are not for everyone, but some people may meet a future marriage partner at one. To me, they’re too fake, cringe, as young people say. If the gathering had another purpose, like a camping retreat weekend, a pilgrimage, or a fix up the chapel and grounds day in the spring and winterizing in the fall, I’d be more inclined to attend. How about the young adults run something like the chapel rummage sale? That way, there’s another goal in attending other than to look at the opposite sex and having them look at you. A person can get a look at how others interact, work, (or sit back and watch others do the work). Are they bossy, considerate, cooperative, overly critical, have good ideas to share, insist on doing everything their way? That’s far more important than checking out whether they’re a 10 or a 1. Anyone can look pious in the pew, but it doesn’t mean they’re holy when elsewhere. If a person, let’s say, is used to using profanity, that’s going to come out in a natural setting. This is not to say a person with a bad habit can’t give it up. A natural setting with more spiritual or charitable goals is easier for everyone. Even if there’s absolutely no one in whom you have any interest so far as a marriage partner, at least you come away having done something meritorious with your time. Maybe you just had a fun weekend of recreation, that’s perfectly legitimate. People need to recreate. Maybe you didn’t meet anyone of the opposite sex, but you met someone of the same sex with whom you can be friends. You share the same interest, ie. in fishing, hunting, cars, 4-wheeling, computers, ham radio, etc. Expanding your social network is always good.
Perhaps, instead of the priest doing the planning and preparation, how about a small committee of young adults do the work under the priest’s supervision? Of course, the priest has the final say and handles the spiritual aspects. It gives young people the opportunity to learn leadership, to take supporting roles, to manage time and finance, to plan wisely. These are skills with which many young people enter the real world woefully lacking.
I’m well beyond the age for young adult gatherings, except maybe as a chaperone. (Anyone up for a walker race? Then we’re going to fold table napkins for the young folks. They’ll need enough for 31 people, let’s call it 40 to be on the safe side, for nine meals/snacks. Tom, here’s the calculator. Please give us the total and we’ll get started.
“Calculator? We don’t need one. 40 x 9 = 360.”
Thanks, Betty. Here’s a package of 500. Let’s fold all of them to be on the safe side.)
Topic: Outside of indult (Read 1847 times)