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Author Topic: Obedience or Charity?  (Read 768 times)

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Änσnymσus

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Obedience or Charity?
« on: April 13, 2021, 04:10:46 PM »
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    •  What is more important, obedience to one's parents or charity towards the poor? I have a friend who is poor who always asks me to buy things for him. I always do. He says he will pay me back for the things I buy for him, but I have probably spent four hundred dollars on him and he has only given me back twenty dollars. I am also poor, but I buy him things with my spare money as I have some extra money and am not materialistic. My parents (I am over 18 but live at home) don't want me to buy my friend anything more at least until he pays me back for what I bought him. They say maybe we could use the money so I should save it ans give it to them, though we don't need the money at this time, in the future we might need it. Is it more important to listen to my parents or to help my friend?
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Obedience or Charity?
    « Reply #1 on: April 13, 2021, 04:14:00 PM »
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    • They say he is taking advantage of me which may be true, but it is hard to say no when he keeps asking for things. 
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Obedience or Charity?
    « Reply #2 on: April 13, 2021, 04:30:47 PM »
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    • You live at home. Any money that you have should be given to your parents not your friend.  A real friend doesn’t ask for money. 

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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Obedience or Charity?
    « Reply #3 on: April 13, 2021, 04:34:45 PM »
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    • Quote from: Änσnymσus on April 13, 2021, 04:30:47 PM
    You live at home. Any money that you have should be given to your parents not your friend.  A real friend doesn’t ask for money.
    I do give mom and dad much more money than I give this friend.
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Obedience or Charity?
    « Reply #4 on: April 13, 2021, 04:55:18 PM »
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    • He's taking advantage of you because he knows he can.  As long as you keep giving in, he'll keep asking.  Your parents aren't as involved in the situation as you are, and can probably judge better.  

    Since what they're telling you to do isn't sinful, and in fact based on good common sense, I'd listen to them.  

    Don't buy this person any more things; is he really a "friend" or just someone who's using you?
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Obedience or Charity?
    « Reply #5 on: April 13, 2021, 07:34:08 PM »
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    • True friends want your time; not your money. 
    You live with your parents and you should hand over all your money to them. 
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    Offline Nadir

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    Re: Obedience or Charity?
    « Reply #6 on: April 13, 2021, 08:28:21 PM »
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    • Quote from: Änσnymσus on April 13, 2021, 04:14:00 PM
    They say he is taking advantage of me which may be true, but it is hard to say no when he keeps asking for things.
    You need to develop a backbone. You should respect your parents.
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    Offline TKGS

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    Re: Obedience or Charity?
    « Reply #7 on: April 14, 2021, 07:21:03 AM »
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    • The Fourth Commandment is the First Commandment in regards to our responsiblilities towards our neighbors.

    You should listen to your parents and, as long as you are living under their roof you should do as they say.  If the household doesn't need the money, then save it for future needs and don't even consider the funds available to give to your acquaintance.

    The poor will always be around, your parents won't always be around.  Finally, what "things" are you buying for this fellow?  If these things aren't basic needs, i.e., he's actually undernourished because he has not way to buy food and can't even buy clothes from Goodwill, then he's simply a con man and is stealing your money.
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Obedience or Charity?
    « Reply #8 on: April 14, 2021, 09:00:32 AM »
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    • Quote from: Änσnymσus on April 13, 2021, 04:10:46 PM
    What is more important, obedience to one's parents or charity towards the poor? I have a friend who is poor who always asks me to buy things for him. I always do. He says he will pay me back for the things I buy for him, but I have probably spent four hundred dollars on him and he has only given me back twenty dollars. I am also poor, but I buy him things with my spare money as I have some extra money and am not materialistic. My parents (I am over 18 but live at home) don't want me to buy my friend anything more at least until he pays me back for what I bought him. They say maybe we could use the money so I should save it ans give it to them, though we don't need the money at this time, in the future we might need it. Is it more important to listen to my parents or to help my friend?
    Send the money to Matthew here on CI, he has 7 children and lost his job. Your friend is just one person, and a man, he can take care of himself.
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    Offline Yeti

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    Re: Obedience or Charity?
    « Reply #9 on: April 14, 2021, 09:14:23 AM »
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    • Quote from: Änσnymσus on April 13, 2021, 04:10:46 PM
    He says he will pay me back for the things I buy for him, but I have probably spent four hundred dollars on him and he has only given me back twenty dollars.
    .
    This person is not your friend. He is someone who is lying to you to get money out of you. Your parents have much more experience in life and with people like this, and recognize what is going on. Trust their judgment here and do what they say.
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Obedience or Charity?
    « Reply #10 on: April 14, 2021, 09:20:46 AM »
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    • I just think common sense answers this question.  You've given him $400 and he's paid back $20.  Why in the world would you give him more until he's paid back at least $300?
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Obedience or Charity?
    « Reply #11 on: April 14, 2021, 10:42:01 AM »
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    • So it seems all agree that I should stop buying things for him. That makes sense. I will tell him I can't buy him things anymore. I added up the amount I gave him. On buying things it was about 250 dollars plus the cost of food and water I bring him once a week, probably at least 150 dollars more. Sometimes he asks for weird things. The last things I bought him were a half a gallon of soap for 37 dollars and beeswax candles for 20 dollars.
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Obedience or Charity?
    « Reply #12 on: April 14, 2021, 10:42:55 AM »
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    • I want to keep bringing him food once a week but I will no longer buy him things.
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Obedience or Charity?
    « Reply #13 on: April 14, 2021, 10:45:27 AM »
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    • He really is poor, sometimes his family only has rice to eat, but other than the food he does not need the things I buy him.
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    Änσnymσus

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    Re: Obedience or Charity?
    « Reply #14 on: April 14, 2021, 11:23:09 AM »
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    • Quote from: Änσnymσus on April 14, 2021, 10:45:27 AM
    He really is poor, sometimes his family only has rice to eat, but other than the food he does not need the things I buy him.
    Good, then only buy him food, or give the food with the other members of his family as witnesses.
    Does your friend have a job, if so teach him to spend his money wisely. If no job, then help him find a job. 
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