I read a passage in the Bible where it states if you repent of your ways and turn back to your own ways, there will be no more forgiveness left for you from heaven.
Can't tell you how many times I've been back and forth with my faith.
I guess st john vianney talks about the sins God no longer continues to pardon
How do i escape this despair? I feel like there's no hope. Lived most of my life with the way of the world... My own stupid fault
There's no such thing as "no more forgiveness" from God. So long as you are capable of making a choice to turn back to God, i.e. so long as you live, there's still hope. What these types of passages mean is that if you return over and over again, your will can be more and more hardened against grace. Don't be like the Protestants who find an isolated passage in Scripture and interpret it out of context with their own lights. In other words, it's all on your side, and not on God's. So if you turn back to Him, He's always there waiting, and He has infinite patience.