First of all, english is not my native language and on top of that i'm iliterate in my own native language, so please excuse me for my bad english.
I'm severely mentaly ill: mildly autistic but severely traumatized. My father was a drug addict, my mother is kinda sociopathic and my family is from the communist elite here in my country. I was basicaly expeled from my family for trying to become catholic. I'm completely isolated; no friends and family support at all. I'm becoming homeless pretty soon. I'm living in a socialistic country in wich churches are taken over by anticatholic priests (people related to a catholic church bomb attack who killed almost 100 brothers, 40 of them were children, just to give an example). I was baptized in a mass that was probably sacrilegious (I don't even know if my baptism was valid). I have so many mortal sins that I don't even know how to perform a confession because I can't keep track of my sins and the brain fog is overwhelming. I feel paralized not knowing what to do next and I feel like i'm going to die soon. I just want to try to get my act together, but i'm too confused and lost.