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Quote from: Guest

That's nice of you to ask, but I don't know if you can, because I'm not sure we're working towards the same purpose, but I'll give it a try, since you asked so nicely.  

I would be interested in how a wife could constructively deal with this situation, in a catholic way.  I'd also be interested in why a catholic husband might decide that the roles of priest and protector was something they could do/wanted to do, but the role of provider wasn't.  I mean, there seems to be an assumption that men who are like that are  scuм, who make the world a bad place for women and children and are an embarrassment to all good catholic men and I just don't know if I believe that is true.  In fact, I'm beginning to wonder if some of the people who know them, aren't worse people than the slacker husbands/discouraged providers/wrongly criticized providers they talk/gossip about.  

This is a well-thought out response.  It seems the OP is frustrated in some way with the seeming dichotomy of a man/husband who wants to enjoy the fruits of marriage (authority over wife and kids, respect from the Catholic community, etc) but in his heart feels a right to refuse his God commanded responsibility.  Maybe I'm reading it incorrectly.

See here's the problem with the disobedience of the woman/wife that some have pointed out:  she is rebelling against the man because the man is rebelling against God.  When a husband doesn't submit to Christ the consequence is the wife and children don't submit to the husband.  

So the easiest and most constructive way to repair the situation would be for the man/husband to begin submitting to Christ and in time the wife will follow suit.  There are many resources that teach how this is done.  Bishop Williamson has taught EXTENSIVELY on this topic.  Perhaps listening to his teachings could be a start for someone who isn't clear on it.

Can others chime in on how a man can learn to submit to Christ?

Quote from: Guest

That makes sense.  It just seems so confused today though, with women working and so few jobs paying enough to support a family/being a stable and secure source of income for decades to come.  It must be very hard for women to submit to not working and relying on their husbands and for men to trust their wives to/truly want them to.  

Agreed.  But this is where the life in full submission to Christ comes in--virtue is brought to the family.  We cannot develop virtue on our own, like learning a new skill.  Virtue is a gift from God alone and we must seek that from Him directly.  

The lack of trust between spouses is not a symptom of a bad marriage--it is a symptom of a bad faith.  When we live with a spirit of poverty, trusting God to provide all things we need according to His Will, then we will not distrust our spouse.  A husband who fully trusts God to provide suitable work that supports the family and prayerfully seeks it will have his trust in his wife increase.  A wife who fully trusts God to guide her husband in all his duties will have trust in her husband to take care of her and their children.

But when both spouses are in rebelllion.....everyone suffers.  The solution is submission to Christ.