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Traditional Catholic Faith => Anσnymσus Posts Allowed => Topic started by: Änσnymσus on April 26, 2017, 08:04:57 AM
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What should a Trad Catholic do if he marries in the Church but later, his wife divorces him without fault? In this day in age, How do you assure that Marriage is lifelong when the civil laws allow divorce so easily? I believe that divorce ought to be banned by the civil authorities. Plus you have Jorge Bergoglio's easy annulment mills to make matters worse. What ought a trad man who has become a victim to this do?
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You only get once chance... unless you become a widower. So, if you marry someone who divorces you later, that's it. Put up with it.
"His disciples say unto him: If the case of a man with his wife be so, it is not expedient to marry." Matthew 19:10
Yes divorce should be outlawed.. that has always been the teaching of the Church.
If you don't want to become a victim.. don't marry, or choose very wisely.
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What should a Trad Catholic do if he marries in the Church but later, his wife divorces him without fault? In this day in age, How do you assure that Marriage is lifelong when the civil laws allow divorce so easily? I believe that divorce ought to be banned by the civil authorities. Plus you have Jorge Bergoglio's easy annulment mills to make matters worse. What ought a trad man who has become a victim to this do?
Are you in such a situation? :-[ If so, you will have our prayers and greatest sympathy... :pray: :pray: :pray:
It is true that divorce should be banned by civil authorities... Yet, the key factor is making sure that one's spouse is truly a devout Catholic before getting married. The conscience of a truly virtuous Catholic would not let him or her even consider a divorce, and that is more binding that any sort of civil authority. The problem is that most people do not make this their primary deal-breaker when considering marriage.
Actually... Along this topic... Over the past few days someone I know, who recently converted to the traditional Catholic Faith, reconnected with me after doing so, and tried to pressure me into committing to a relationship with him. Yet, after a couple days I quickly came to realize that his heart was not fully into the Faith, and I had to tell him that as long as such was the case; I could not even consider his proposals.
I have seen so many failed marriages take place, and the main reason for this was that God was not the center of the marriage. Which reminds me of a quote from a book which I have been reading, "I could not love thee dear, so much, loved I not honour more." (Yet, switch honour to God, and you have it...)
Hope this helps! Keep fighting the good fight and may God bless you! :)
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the key factor is making sure that one's spouse is truly a devout Catholic before getting married. The conscience of a truly virtuous Catholic would not let him or her even consider a divorce, and that is more binding that any sort of civil authority. The problem is that most people do not make this their primary deal-breaker when considering marriage.
This is the main point here -- all too many Trads fail to make "they're not a solid, devout Catholic" a complete deal-breaker.
The Catholic Church normally forbids mixed-marriages, requiring a dispensation to marry a non-Catholic, and you still don't get the Nuptial Blessing even if you get that dispensation.
But how many people take that seriously? Or, how many take that rule in the right spirit? I feel sorry for anyone who looks at the Catholic Church like a mean old fuddy-duddy, a spoil sport, someone out to piss on our parade. On the contrary -- the Church is the Bride of Christ, looking out ONLY for OUR OWN best interests. We should trust Her judgment rather than groan at her rules and restrictions. The same goes for God and His Ten Commandments, but I digress...
Unless your sweetheart shows every sign of being a devout Catholic, you shouldn't even consider marrying them. It's true that strictly speaking there are no guarantees. But that doesn't mean you can't increase your chances.
My favorite philosophy: "winners make their own luck". You have to do everything you can. Don't make stupid moves and then blame God, "luck" or "the way it goes" for your misfortunes.
Yes, strictly speaking a person could fall from grace. And yes, strictly speaking any person COULD convert. But that doesn't mean it's "anything goes" and "anyone's guess" on which marriages will last and which will fail.
You want MORAL CERTAINTY that your prospective spouse is a good Catholic, and intends to stay Catholic for life. We can't get scientific certainty, but moral certainty is sufficient to make a prudential judgment, which is what the decision to marry is.
But as with any prudential judgment, the more information you have the better. That is what DATING is for -- not for "getting away with as much as you can", not for titillating the senses, not for "fun", but to really get to know a person so you can make a good judgment on whether or not they are good marriage material.
It's not that difficult, and certainly not impossible, to get to know someone well in a few months. Just have deep conversations, meet their friends and especially family members, and keep your eyes open. If you are used to loving the truth and embracing it, you will find it as always. But if you're used to deceit, especially lying to your own self, then beware!
- Matthew
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I don't know about the whole make sure your potential spouse is a devout Catholic thing. Simply because there are so few devout Catholics in the world if everyone followed that advice almost nobody would get married. There are only around a million traditional Catholics in the world, but how many of them are devout? Maybe a hundred thousand. And of those, how many are single and looking to get married? Maybe twenty thousand. So if everyone only considered marrying devout Catholics, we would have at most twenty thousand people getting married and everyone else would remain single.
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The point of getting married is to raise children for Heaven, and help each other there.
If you don't marry a devout Catholic. . . Then you're marrying someone helping you and them to Hell instead.
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The point of getting married is to raise children for Heaven, and help each other there.
If you don't marry a devout Catholic. . . Then you're marrying someone helping you and them to Hell instead.
But there are almost no devout Catholics in the world who are looking for marriage partners. Sure, it would be better to marry a devout Catholic, but since there are so few available, either nine-tenths of traditional Catholics will never marry and there will be no next generation, or they will have to settle for a non-devout Catholic.
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You don't seem to get the point.
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You don't seem to get the point.
I think I do get the point, but I think the advice is unrealistic.
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I must second what AMDGJMJ and Matthew said.
Single Catholics need to be cautious to not lower the standards of finding a potential spouse because it can mean heaven or hell for their soul and that of the other party.
My own mistake has been in the past to not been honest with myself and too hasty. I have been better about it, for God's will matters more.
Divorce should be unthinkable. You have rhese situations of "annulments?" as well where it is assumed one party can just pair off with another even if the "annulment?" or divorce has not gone through yet. Many people lack self-control and most importantly do not put God first in their life. We are not animals who can just pair off with just any other creature. This ties into the false doctrine of evolution and something related to that I think I learned from Matthew on the forum awhile back.
There was a recent situation where I had to admonish someone about not trying to have someone meet another party in spite their marital statuses. It was also related to the current challenge coming from Francis' error too.
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I must second what AMDGJMJ and Matthew said.
Single Catholics need to be cautious to not lower the standards of finding a potential spouse because it can mean heaven or hell for their soul and that of the other party.
My own mistake has been in the past to not been honest with myself and too hasty. I have been better about it, for God's will matters more.
Divorce should be unthinkable. You have rhese situations of "annulments?" as well where it is assumed one party can just pair off with another even if the "annulment?" or divorce has not gone through yet. Many people lack self-control and most importantly do not put God first in their life. We are not animals who can just pair off with just any other creature. This ties into the false doctrine of evolution and something related to that I think I learned from Matthew on the forum awhile back.
There was a recent situation where I had to admonish someone about not trying to have someone meet another party in spite their marital statuses. It was also related to the current challenge coming from Francis' error too.
This was posted Kephapaulos.
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This advice reminds me of the advice of some priests that no man should ever consider dating unless he is rich enough to own his own house and support a large family without the wife working. Sure it would be better if these conditions are met, but in the real world if this advice was followed, almost nobody would ever get married.
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This advice reminds me of the advice of some priests that no man should ever consider dating unless he is rich enough to own his own house and support a large family without the wife working. Sure it would be better if these conditions are met, but in the real world if this advice was followed, almost nobody would ever get married.
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I have never been married and probably never will be.
"Romance" has caused me nothing but misery
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What should a Trad Catholic do if he marries in the Church but later, his wife divorces him without fault? In this day in age, How do you assure that Marriage is lifelong when the civil laws allow divorce so easily?
Make sure your spouse vows "till death do us part" during the wedding ceremony.
That oughtta do it! :fryingpan:
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I don't know about the whole make sure your potential spouse is a devout Catholic thing. Simply because there are so few devout Catholics in the world if everyone followed that advice almost nobody would get married. There are only around a million traditional Catholics in the world, but how many of them are devout? Maybe a hundred thousand. And of those, how many are single and looking to get married? Maybe twenty thousand. So if everyone only considered marrying devout Catholics, we would have at most twenty thousand people getting married and everyone else would remain single.
The primary purpose of the Sacrament of Matrimony is the begetting raising of children to be saints.
Since bringing children up to be devout is the duty of Catholic parents, one would think that it would naturally then follow that anyone considering marriage would want a devout spouse to help them in this great responsibility. :)
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But there are almost no devout Catholics in the world who are looking for marriage partners. Sure, it would be better to marry a devout Catholic, but since there are so few available, either nine-tenths of traditional Catholics will never marry and there will be no next generation, or they will have to settle for a non-devout Catholic.
You might be amazed to find out just how many devout traditional Catholics are out there, many of whom have determined that they are called to the married state. :)
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This advice reminds me of the advice of some priests that no man should ever consider dating unless he is rich enough to own his own house and support a large family without the wife working. Sure it would be better if these conditions are met, but in the real world if this advice was followed, almost nobody would ever get married.
I don't know about everyone else, but I would rather have a poor husband who devout Catholic, than a rich one who was not devout.
The Holy Family was poor, and many saintly families have also been poor... Yet, there are rarely saintly families when the parents are not devout...
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What if you marry a non - Catholic when you are a young, fallen away Catholic and then revert to the Faith after having children but your spouse keeps as a non Catholic?
That is a very sad fate indeed. Probably one of the worst long time crosses to bear.
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It is a waste of time to marry someone who is not pious. The pious and the non-pious would not have the same priorities in life. It would lead to marital friction and could lead to eventual damnation for the spouses and children. You can't have a pious father and a frivolous mother or vice-versa because it leads to mixed messages being given to the children. The non-pious parent will often consciously and unconsciously undermine the religious training of the children by indulging in world-ling behaviors such as watching disgusting movies and going to places of sin such as modern beaches.
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It is a waste of time to marry someone who is not pious. The pious and the non-pious would not have the same priorities in life. It would lead to marital friction and could lead to eventual damnation for the spouses and children. You can't have a pious father and a frivolous mother or vice-versa because it leads to mixed messages being given to the children. The non-pious parent will often consciously and unconsciously undermine the religious training of the children by indulging in world-ling behaviors such as watching disgusting movies and going to places of sin such as modern beaches.
Call me a cynic, but the older I get, the more thankful I am for having never married.
A good friend of mine married a non-practicing Protestant. He kept the promise to have all the children God sent, and didn't prevent the rest of his large family from hearing Mass, receiving the Sacraments, and learning the catechism. Every last one of the children dropped the Faith as soon as they turned 18, despite attendance at a traditional chapel and school. The numerous grandchildren are illegitimate with only three baptized. Dad stayed home on Sundays and watched porn.
In my 50+ years in this world, I have never been to a wedding, traditional Catholic or otherwise, that did not end in divorce or disaster.
Pray, but there's nothing else to be done without losing your soul.
In the words of Bishop Williamson, "The problem is insoluble." [E.C. 510] All you can do is to remain a faithful Catholic. Saving your own soul takes priority over those of your spouse and children.
"Wipe the dust off your shoes," and ask Our Lady to show you what to do with the remainder of your life.
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What can be done? First of all, IF your spouse lied to you before the marriage. You must prove. Was their someone else and she did not speak of and never said, is lying to you. You would have to prove a lie. Testimonies from those who know her. And always, pray for her, pray for her to amend her sins. As Catholics, we believe in the forgiveness of sin.
MY brother-in-law did this to my sister. He was a ɧoɱosɛҳųαƖ before, during the marriage and my sister had no idea. That is an invalid marriage and family members testified that they knew it and said nothing to my sister. That marriage lasted 12 years. Very Sad and she has herpes for the rest of her life.
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What should a Trad Catholic do if he marries in the Church but later, his wife divorces him without fault?
The question of fault is not the issue here. He must remain faithful to his marriage vows and to her. He remains faithful to her by continuing to pray and make sacrifice for her.
In this day in age, How do you assure that Marriage is lifelong when the civil laws allow divorce so easily? I believe that divorce ought to be banned by the civil authorities.
We live in a pagan ambience with a pagan/masonic government, so divorce will not be banned in the foreseeable future. Neither can we be reassured that marriage is lifelong, but as Matthew and AMDG have pointed out, it is essential to marry a devout Catholic who we decide has all the signs that she keeps the laws of God and of His Church, without compromise.
Plus you have Jorge Bergoglio's easy annulment mills to make matters worse. What ought a trad man who has become a victim to this do?
The easy annulment mill is not the creation of Francis. I don't know the dates but easy annulment has been around for about 30 years.
He must continue in his responsibility to his wife (she is still his wife in God's eyes) and their children to the best of his abilities.
Regarding what somebody said here on this thread, it is not true that it's impossible to find a devout Catholic spouse. There are many here on this site who seek out spouses. My own children who were seeking devout Catholic spouses found them, not without a long search, but they are there. They only need to be brought together. I remember a particular SSPX priest saying that we need to help to bring these people together. I don't know what he had in mind but there is certainly a need there, though not insurmountable.
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The above post in blue replies is Nadir
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Regarding what somebody said here on this thread, it is not true that it's impossible to find a devout Catholic spouse. There are many here on this site who seek out spouses. My own children who were seeking devout Catholic spouses found them, not without a long search, but they are there. They only need to be brought together. I remember a particular SSPX priest saying that we need to help to bring these people together. I don't know what he had in mind but there is certainly a need there, though not insurmountable.
This... :cheers:
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What if you marry a non - Catholic when you are a young, fallen away Catholic and then revert to the Faith after having children but your spouse keeps as a non Catholic?
That is a very sad fate indeed. Probably one of the worst long time crosses to bear.
That happened to me. But after TWENTY years he was given the grace to convert. What held him back the longest was the ingrained protestant aversion to devotion to Our Lady. Then suddenly one day in prayer he just decided to give that problem over to Christ to fix, and thereafter it stopped impeding him entirely. Now he has a strong devotion to Our Lady, especially as Our Lady of Fatima. And this man was from a Baptist "all Catholics are idolaters who are going to Hell" background. I cry now when I see him praying the rosary. Miracles do happen.
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Regarding what somebody said here on this thread, it is not true that it's impossible to find a devout Catholic spouse. There are many here on this site who seek out spouses. My own children who were seeking devout Catholic spouses found them, not without a long search, but they are there. They only need to be brought together. I remember a particular SSPX priest saying that we need to help to bring these people together. I don't know what he had in mind but there is certainly a need there, though not insurmountable.
I hope to find a good Catholic spouse myself one day if God so wills, but I know that I need to finish my master degree and get a better job next year. I know also that good Catholic women do exist other parts of the country. In my neck of the woods, in spite of the "conservativism" of some women, it is neutralized by liberalism.
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I hope to find a good Catholic spouse myself one day if God so wills, but I know that I need to finish my master degree and get a better job next year. I know also that good Catholic women do exist other parts of the country. In my neck of the woods, in spite of the "conservativism" of some women, it is neutralized by liberalism.
It is sad to see how many traditional Catholics there are out there who claim to be Catholic but who are not really pious and follow the ways of the world, the flesh or the devil... Sometimes I wish my parents had become traditional Catholics with me because then they could help me choose a proper spouse. I always seem to misjudge good people for bad and bad people for good, and I don't really trust myself to make accurate assessments about people anymore... :-[
You seem to have a good heart, and to be trying hard to prepare yourself rightly for marriage. I think that most traditional Catholic women would appreciate that. Keep it up and God will surely help you to find a good and pious spouse if marriage is to be your vocation.
Please pray for me that I chose rightly according to God's will... You in turn shall be in my prayers... :)
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You only get once chance... unless you become a widower. So, if you marry someone who divorces you later, that's it. Put up with it.
"His disciples say unto him: If the case of a man with his wife be so, it is not expedient to marry." Matthew 19:10
Yes divorce should be outlawed.. that has always been the teaching of the Church.
If you don't want to become a victim.. don't marry, or choose very wisely.
i say Dont marry
it takes 2 people fully committed to Christ and ea other to make it work and i myself don't see much of that
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i say Dont marry
it takes 2 people fully committed to Christ and ea other to make it work and i myself don't see much of that
I think that we need to remember that everyone has their vocation in life...
Just because we are called to a particular state does not mean that everyone else is also...
The saints say that God calls each person to a particular life because that life would be the most efficient way for them to save their soul. Yet, anyone can chose another life which will not be as beneficial to their soul and a harder course to heaven. Hence, if a person is called to the married life, he should try his best to enter into the married life. While if a person is called to the religious life or single life he should make an effort to remain faithful to whichever of those lives which God has chosen for him.
That being said... The most esteemed Father Faber says that people leading a devout life in the married life are not as common as they should be: http://whoshallfindavaliantwoman.blogspot.com/2015/09/as-rare-as-white-fly.html But, such a life is certainly possible if it is one's vocation, and as long as one puts serving God properly above all else! :)
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Regarding what somebody said here on this thread, it is not true that it's impossible to find a devout Catholic spouse. There are many here on this site who seek out spouses. My own children who were seeking devout Catholic spouses found them, not without a long search, but they are there. They only need to be brought together. I remember a particular SSPX priest saying that we need to help to bring these people together. I don't know what he had in mind but there is certainly a need there, though not insurmountable.
You bring up another good point -- devout Catholics exist, but they might not be a "10". You know, they won't make all your friends jealous. They don't look like magazine cover models.
But I guess we all pick our poison, and choose our priorities.
Personally, I'd make "solidity in the Faith" one's primary priority and deal-breaker.
Remember the old song, "If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life." That song contains the common folk wisdom of the ages. Beautiful women will likely not treat you right, and will always be sought after by other men even after you are married. But if you marry a somewhat less than glamorous woman, she will be grateful for the love and attention and will be faithful forever.
But it's not as simple as beautiful vs. ugly.
The problem is the "pop culture ideal of beauty" which is promoted through worldly movies and pornography. While it's true that beauty is objective (not in the eye of the beholder), it's also true that priorities and "taste" has changed over the decades, which proves that those things are NOT objective. So the problem is not just that men want a beautiful wife, it's that they want a wife who The World in 2017 considers beautiful. The only reason for that can be PRIDE.
I'm sure most women have a good feature or three, which you could focus on. Also, every man shouldn't have the same taste -- unless they all have the same upbringing (American movies, pornography, etc.)
Men who are lacking in virtue are, by definition, going to be more or less slaves of LUST and PRIDE. These vices will command and warn them to "not settle for less" or else "you'll never get to be with a gorgeous woman, and you won't be able to live with yourself." This is obviously the devil talking. These men are pushed to desire a "10" so they can appear in photos and in public like an action movie hero posing with their supermodel wife hanging off them. It's the classic "trophy wife" syndrome.
Last but not least, I want to address another delusion of the devil. Namely, that if a man marries less than a "10" he will be forever tormented (tempted to sins against the 6th and 9th) whenever he encounters a truly beautiful woman at work, public, the store, etc.
This is RIDICULOUS because a man has to get used to telling himself "no" more often than not, regardless of his vocation or who he is married to. Let's run the math:
Number of women a married man can lawfully be with: 1
Number of women in the world: 3.5 billion
I'd call that "more often than not" you have to check yourself, cut off your thoughts, tell yourself "no", etc.
The vocation of a priest, religious, or single person is simply adding a "NO" for that last "1" woman in addition. So he has to be perfectly chaste with 3.5 billion women, instead of being perfectly chaste with 3,499,999,999 women like married men do. See my point?
Chastity, continence, and purity are virtues required by ALL, not just the "poor saps who couldn't manage to get married".
Archbishop Lefebvre called marriage "a school of chastity" or something to that effect.
If you think otherwise, you're 3/4 of the way to mortal sin.
-Matthew
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Correction:
Take it from someone who married at almost 50 with a knockout Catholic wife half his age:
Work to improve yourself in every respect in the faith, work, physically, culturally, etiquette..... and let God take care of finding your wife. That is what I did and he gave me much more than I could ever dream of. I never once worried about finding a wife, I was too busy learning new things every day.
If one chooses to remain as they are in every way and not learn from their mistakes, they will never find anyone but maybe someone who will tolerate their faults (sounds familiar?). People like that one day will die and only have had a long life of never learning anything in life.
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Correction:
Take it from someone who married at almost 50 with a knockout Catholic wife half his age:
Work to improve yourself in every respect in the faith, work, physically, culturally, etiquette..... and let God take care of finding your wife. That is what I did and he gave me much more than I could ever dream of. I never once worried about finding a wife, I was too busy learning new things every day.
If one chooses to remain as they are in every way and not learn from their mistakes, they will never find anyone but maybe someone who will tolerate their faults (sounds familiar?). People like that one day will die and only have had a long life of never learning anything in life.
I was attending an SSPX chapel for 4 years with not a one young girl, mostly older people, and one day she showed up.
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You bring up another good point -- devout Catholics exist, but they might not be a "10". You know, they won't make all your friends jealous. They don't look like magazine cover models.
But I guess we all pick our poison, and choose our priorities.
Personally, I'd make "solidity in the Faith" one's primary priority and deal-breaker.
Remember the old song, "If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life." That song contains the common folk wisdom of the ages. Beautiful women will likely not treat you right, and will always be sought after by other men even after you are married. But if you marry a somewhat less than glamorous woman, she will be grateful for the love and attention and will be faithful forever.
But it's not as simple as beautiful vs. ugly.
The problem is the "pop culture ideal of beauty" which is promoted through worldly movies and pornography. While it's true that beauty is objective (not in the eye of the beholder), it's also true that priorities and "taste" has changed over the decades, which proves that those things are NOT objective. So the problem is not just that men want a beautiful wife, it's that they want a wife who The World in 2017 considers beautiful. The only reason for that can be PRIDE.
I'm sure most women have a good feature or three, which you could focus on. Also, every man shouldn't have the same taste -- unless they all have the same upbringing (American movies, pornography, etc.)
Men who are lacking in virtue are, by definition, going to be more or less slaves of LUST and PRIDE. These vices will command and warn them to "not settle for less" or else "you'll never get to be with a gorgeous woman, and you won't be able to live with yourself." This is obviously the devil talking. These men are pushed to desire a "10" so they can appear in photos and in public like an action movie hero posing with their supermodel wife hanging off them. It's the classic "trophy wife" syndrome.
Last but not least, I want to address another delusion of the devil. Namely, that if a man marries less than a "10" he will be forever tormented (tempted to sins against the 6th and 9th) whenever he encounters a truly beautiful woman at work, public, the store, etc.
This is RIDICULOUS because a man has to get used to telling himself "no" more often than not, regardless of his vocation or who he is married to. Let's run the math:
Number of women a married man can lawfully be with: 1
Number of women in the world: 3.5 billion
I'd call that "more often than not" you have to check yourself, cut off your thoughts, tell yourself "no", etc.
The vocation of a priest, religious, or single person is simply adding a "NO" for that last "1" woman in addition. So he has to be perfectly chaste with 3.5 billion women, instead of being perfectly chaste with 3,499,999,999 women like married men do. See my point?
Chastity, continence, and purity are virtues required by ALL, not just the "poor saps who couldn't manage to get married".
Archbishop Lefebvre called marriage "a school of chastity" or something to that effect.
If you think otherwise, you're 3/4 of the way to mortal sin.
-Matthew
I think it could bring more temptation for a man if his wife is a 10 because he might fail to see her as his wife and be too tempted and distracted by her physical beauty due to selfish lust and pleasure. Of course, like any man, I am attracted to a 10, but would I really be loving the person herself? Looks fade away, and death will eventually come to the body.
Personally, I do find women attractive below 10 or between 5 and 10, but what attracts me most is who and how they are. Often sadly, a lot of good looking young women have an attitude or lack of maturity. That is not always the case though. Everyone is different. Sure, attractiveness has an importance, but it is minor compared to the Catholic faith and other factors. I am more attractive to women then who are indeed serious about the Catholic faith, actually think intelligently, and are still docile in their demeanor.
Recently, I talked at my work with a woman in her twenties who is married and expecting her first child, and we were able to have a genuine, intelligent, respectful, and mature conversation. Her husband is a lucky man. In spite of being in the Novus Ordo, she actually thinks and understands many things going on in the world today. Womem like AMDGJMJ, who gave me a good encouragement (thank you) and the lady just talked about give me hope that there are good women out there.
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I was attending an SSPX chapel for 4 years with not a one young girl, mostly older people, and one day she showed up.
Thank you. That gives me hope.
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Correction:
Take it from someone who married at almost 50 with a knockout Catholic wife half his age:
Work to improve yourself in every respect in the faith, work, physically, culturally, etiquette..... and let God take care of finding your wife. That is what I did and he gave me much more than I could ever dream of. I never once worried about finding a wife, I was too busy learning new things every day.
If one chooses to remain as they are in every way and not learn from their mistakes, they will never find anyone but maybe someone who will tolerate their faults (sounds familiar?). People like that one day will die and only have had a long life of never learning anything in life.
Thank you too.
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Matthew! Well said! :applause: (I can't seem to like any of your posts in this thread because they are anonymous on the heading... :-[)
You are welcome, Kephapaulos! I am glad to offer what encouragement I can! Keep fighting the good fight and try to keep in mind what Padre Pio would say, "Pray, hope and don't worry. Worry is useless." :) (Oh, and an amazing book which you definitely should read if you have not already read it is: Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence by Blessed Claude de Colombiere: (https://www.amazon.com/Trustful-Surrender-Divine-Providence-Happiness/dp/0895552167)https://www.amazon.com/Trustful-Surrender-Divine-Providence-Happiness/dp/0895552167 (https://www.amazon.com/Trustful-Surrender-Divine-Providence-Happiness/dp/0895552167)
https://www.amazon.com/Trustful-Surrender-Divine-Providence-Happiness/dp/089555216 (https://www.amazon.com/Trustful-Surrender-Divine-Providence-Happiness/dp/0895552167)
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day in age
It's "day and age (http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/in+this+day+and+age)."
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24th Session of the Council of Trent (http://www.ccel.org/ccel/schaff/creeds2.v.i.i.xi.html#v.i.i.xi-p5.6):
If any one saith, that the marriage state is to be placed above the state of virginity, or of celibacy, and that it is not better and more blessed to remain in virginity, or in celibacy, than to be united in matrimony: let him be anathema.
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Please pray for me that I chose rightly according to God's will... You in turn shall be in my prayers... :)
Thank you! I will pray for you indeed! :)
I bump this thread up as well since it is related to the thread on spouses and work that I started.
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Thank you! I will pray for you indeed! :)
I bump this thread up as well since it is related to the thread on spouses and work that I started.
Great! Thanks! :)
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Call me a cynic, but the older I get, the more thankful I am for having never married.
A good friend of mine married a non-practicing Protestant. He kept the promise to have all the children God sent, and didn't prevent the rest of his large family from hearing Mass, receiving the Sacraments, and learning the catechism. Every last one of the children dropped the Faith as soon as they turned 18, despite attendance at a traditional chapel and school. The numerous grandchildren are illegitimate with only three baptized. Dad stayed home on Sundays and watched porn.
In my 50+ years in this world, I have never been to a wedding, traditional Catholic or otherwise, that did not end in divorce or disaster.
Pray, but there's nothing else to be done without losing your soul.
In the words of Bishop Williamson, "The problem is insoluble." [E.C. 510] All you can do is to remain a faithful Catholic. Saving your own soul takes priority over those of your spouse and children.
"Wipe the dust off your shoes," and ask Our Lady to show you what to do with the remainder of your life.
Is the dad who stayed home on Sundays and watched porn the same person (non-practicing Protestant) who your friend married? Why did she decide to marry him? Is your friend sad that all her children dropped the Faith?
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Is the dad who stayed home on Sundays and watched porn the same person (non-practicing Protestant) who your friend married? Why did she decide to marry him? Is your friend sad that all her children dropped the Faith?
Yes, he's the guy. Why did she marry him? Probably to get away from an abusive step-mother who played pious in public but treated her husband's children like slaves. He was similarly deceptive, seeming easy-going and hospitable to outsiders, but a lazy, selfish man at home. My friend had nobody to guide her in selecting a suitable spouse. By then it was too late. Yes, of course she's highly distressed that her kids have left the faith. Now a widow, she hears Mass everyday and prays for her children, their invalid marriages/partners, and grandchildren.
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Yes, he's the guy. Why did she marry him? Probably to get away from an abusive step-mother who played pious in public but treated her husband's children like slaves. He was similarly deceptive, seeming easy-going and hospitable to outsiders, but a lazy, selfish man at home. My friend had nobody to guide her in selecting a suitable spouse. By then it was too late. Yes, of course she's highly distressed that her kids have left the faith. Now a widow, she hears Mass everyday and prays for her children, their invalid marriages/partners, and grandchildren.
Did she tell her husband to stop watching porn and that it was a mortal sin? Does she pray for her departed husband or assume that he is in hell?
How are her children's marriage partners invalid?
Are any of her daughters single mothers where the father left after getting the her daughter pregnant?
Or are any of her sons someone who got someone pregnant then left the mother and child?
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Did she tell her husband to stop watching porn and that it was a mortal sin? Does she pray for her departed husband or assume that he is in hell?
How are her children's marriage partners invalid?
Are any of her daughters single mothers where the father left after getting the her daughter pregnant?
Or are any of her sons someone who got someone pregnant then left the mother and child?
Oh, go away!