Correct, I'm not in Ohio. He's the priest responsible for the mission chapel that's driving distance from me. I came across the chapel in the Traditio directory* and called the number. He answered. That was a few months ago and since then, I've waffled many many times in my head between SSPX, Resistance, Sedevantism, Home Alone, and all the warring factions in them. I'm now at the stage where I'm exhausted from it all and don't want to think too much about it anymore. The SSPX mass is fine for now, despite my distrust of the society. It's the most convenient.

As for the SSPX priest, I had talked with him about my wife and the sacraments before but I have such a hard time getting advice from him. He's a laid back personality and his response is usually along the lines of "you can if you want". It's the reason I didn't want to speak with him on the recent situation with my wife. And why I thought of the sedevacantist priest who had given a lot of instruction that first time I spoke with him.

* http://www-traditio-com/tradlib/masslat.pdf (replace - with .)

Hi C,

Since you aren't in Ohio (which is where Fr Jenkins is located), here is the CMRI directory for the US.  You may find a priest within a reasonable distance.  I have also heard that they send priests out as well.  Also, you won't have the same concern as you have with the priest from SGG.

CMRI Directory of Traditional Latin Masses (U.S.) – CMRI: Congregation of Mary Immaculate Queen

Well, things could be better.

I had the opportunity to travel to South America for work. The timing conflicted with the mass where I wanted to talk with the priest. I should have said no (and I could have easily done so) but I was too absorbed in thinking of worldly things. I had never been to South America. It would be fun to go out drinking with coworkers like I used to. Eat at nice restaurants like I used to. Meet some new faces. Feel like a hotshot getting paid to travel. There was pressure to make a decision the day I was told about it so I didn't have much time to reflect. I ended up going. This means I didn't talk to the priest like I had planned. And my religious life has suffered. It's interesting the timing of your post though. I got myself to pray last night and it hit me hard the realization of how much of a mistake I made in prioritizing a week to relive my old life over my family and faith.

On the trip, I was able to fast, only having dinner in the evening. But those dinners were gluttonous. And I drank to excess. Dealing with hangovers and coming home late made it difficult to pray. Since coming home, I've been having such trouble saying the rosary. I know how important prayer is for me right now. I keep telling myself throughout the day that the most important thing for me to do at this very moment is to pray the rosary. But I just have this refusal in me. I'm not exactly sure how the devil / demons operate but I suspect they're having a field day with my weakness. I only pray the rosary maybe once or twice a week now. And as a consequence, I'm less charitable towards my wife.

I used to check in with my wife about the catechism book every day and she was on top of it. That stopped. I just asked her today and she said she hasn't read it in awhile. She thought I had lost interest in the faith. Most likely because I stopped talking about it and we have been missing mass at the SSPX. It can be demoralizing for me not being able to go to confession or receive communion so I justify not going. My lame excuse is something like "why go if I'm in a state of mortal sin (because of cohabitation) and I have no clue when I'll get out of it?".

I do occasionally get myself to read holy things. I just finished a small book on hell by Father F. X. Schouppe. So at least I'm aware of the dangerous situation I'm in. Still, I'm afraid that if I don't correct things quickly I might lose the little grace I have left entirely.

I've been thinking of ways to shock myself out of this. I desperately want my prayer life back. Shia LaBeouf's Just Do It video is not enough. Sleeping on the floor has helped me in the past. I tend to seek out comfort and avoid difficult things in life. Sleeping on the floor helps combat this. I know I'm supposed to talk to a priest about mortification but this feels like a fairly minor one compared to something like hairshirts. The floor is carpeted.

Anyway, thanks for asking about me. I do wish I had a more upbeat reply.

C

Keep fighting and trying!  You will be in our prayers!  May the great Saint Patrick bless you today on his feast day! 

Passiontide starts today and Holy Week will be here soon.  What a good time to get things going again.