For almost three decades, I have been married to a pathological liar.  He lies about everything even the most silly things.  He lies so well you can't tell he's lying.  He was also raised in a home in which incest occurred.  

What is the Catholic way for a wife to handle this? We are not a young couple.

 No use confronting him with his lies.  I don't think he has much of a conscience either.  It amazes me how he talks about politicians and calls them liars.  I'd be too ashamed to do that knowing that I was one myself.  It is things like that that make me think he hasn't much, if any, of a conscience.

Even if you have no advice, please at least pray for me.  It isn't easy living with a person you can't trust.  Ever.  You never know what you are going to find out next.  It's awful.  I pray God takes me before him for fear that if he dies first, what I would find out would make me want to spit on his grave.

You need to become independently emotional from your husband as to protect yourself from his actions. Just focus on your own holiness, on getting yourself to Heaven, regardless of his lies.  

I'm going to pray for you.  I had my own manipulating philanderer that I had to cut off from bed & board.  We only were together short of a decade but I do sympathize.  He was also sɛҳuąƖly abused as a kid and thinks that's a license to do what he does.  

Anyway....hugs to you.

I'm going to pray for you.  I had my own manipulating philanderer that I had to cut off from bed & board.  We only were together short of a decade but I do sympathize.  He was also sɛҳuąƖly abused as a kid and thinks that's a license to do what he does.  

Anyway....hugs to you.

He's no spring chicken so this happened in his home before it became something common.  His sister was abused, and I once asked him if he was too, but he said no, which I don't believe because I'm not a stupid woman and can put two and two together.  Sometimes I think the man has split personalities.

He grew up in a Protestant home.  I won't give his ethnic background, but anyone I've met that is from the same country has been the same - no conscience.  It's not a common nationality, so I'm not talking about the usual ones.

His mother is a liar too  His sister once told me (she has since died) that she was lied to her entire life.  

Thank you for your prayers.  Sometimes I'm at the end of my rope, not knowing whether to react as someone worldly would, or as Our Lord would have me do.

Quote from: Guest

Sometimes I'm at the end of my rope, not knowing whether to react as someone worldly would, or as Our Lord would have me do.

Sounds like you are doing a great job. Hang in there! Don't let this bad habit drag you down. Let this cross sanctify you instead.

But how do I do that?  A marriage is based on trust.  When that's eroded, the whole thing falls apart.  I've wanted to leave, but at this point in my life, aside from the fact that I have no real money of my own and nowhere to go other than some welfare place (I'd rather stay where I am than be around those people), it is hard to start all over again.  Besides, I'm very much aware, and know from experience in my life, that when you try to get out from under one cross, you just encounter another and heavier one.

Quote from: Guest

I'm going to pray for you.  I had my own manipulating philanderer that I had to cut off from bed & board.  We only were together short of a decade but I do sympathize.  He was also sɛҳuąƖly abused as a kid and thinks that's a license to do what he does.  

Anyway....hugs to you.

He's no spring chicken so this happened in his home before it became something common.  His sister was abused, and I once asked him if he was too, but he said no, which I don't believe because I'm not a stupid woman and can put two and two together.  Sometimes I think the man has split personalities.

He grew up in a Protestant home.  I won't give his ethnic background, but anyone I've met that is from the same country has been the same - no conscience.  It's not a common nationality, so I'm not talking about the usual ones.

His mother is a liar too  His sister once told me (she has since died) that she was lied to her entire life.  

Thank you for your prayers.  Sometimes I'm at the end of my rope, not knowing whether to react as someone worldly would, or as Our Lord would have me do.

I do understand.  If the children were grown I would have had to stay with him and suffer.  But I also have learned that it's good to become emotionally independent as someone else suggested.  Meaning you don't seek your truth and validation from him.  I just listened to some teachings about domestic abuse by a traditional priest and he said that abused wives seek truth from their abusive husbands and it messes up their minds.  

You know he's a liar.  Never ever seek your truth (especially about yourself) from him.  Seek truth from the Catholic Faith and trusted advisors and friends.

Best wishes to you.

Have you grown up children?
Are they dependable and or supportive of you?
Have you spoken with your priest?

I'm inclined to agree that living with a chronic liar can affect  your mind, and that you are at great risk. After all the father of lies is none other than the devil, so it would be like living and dealing with a devil.

I will continue to pray that you may find another option.

No children.  

I've spoken to two priests - one SSPX and one sedevacantist priest.   The SSPX priest told me that I was stuck with him and had to live with him the rest of my life.  He asked me if I would abandon someone who had a terminal illness, and likened my husband to someone who had a terminal illness - except his is mental.

The sedevacantist priest told me basically what another poster wrote - let this cross sanctify me.  And that is good advice, except I am torn, as I already said, between reacting as a secular woman vs. a religious woman.

Quote from: Nadir

Have you grown up children?
Are they dependable and or supportive of you?
Have you spoken with your priest?

I'm inclined to agree that living with a chronic liar can affect  your mind, and that you are at great risk. After all the father of lies is none other than the devil, so it would be like living and dealing with a devil.

I will continue to pray that you may find another option.

No children.  

I've spoken to two priests - one SSPX and one sedevacantist priest.   The SSPX priest told me that I was stuck with him and had to live with him the rest of my life.  He asked me if I would abandon someone who had a terminal illness, and likened my husband to someone who had a terminal illness - except his is mental.

The sedevacantist priest told me basically what another poster wrote - let this cross sanctify me.  And that is good advice, except I am torn, as I already said, between reacting as a secular woman vs. a religious woman.

If I didn't have any children, I would probably separate. What reason is there to marriage but children?. Mental illnesses are a valid reason for separation.