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Everyone would love to have a happy marriage. Unfortunately human nature  doesn't always work that way. what recourse does a wife have if unfortunately her husband starts becoming abusive both physically and mentally towards her? I find it cruel if she is forced to separate without remarriage. What if after serious reflection she realizes that her former boyfriend has pity for her and the woman wants to marry him instead.


This is a question of apologetics

The woman must remain faithful to her marriage vows and perform all her duties of state to her children and household.  She must pray for her husband to repent of his evil ways and be willing to accept him back into the household once he repents.  She must continue to love her husband and work towards reconciling with him.  She must have NOTHING to do with any other men except family.   If she's speaking to an ex boyfriend she is already an adultress which is worse than being abusive.  She needs to repent of her sins of adultery.  Facebook and email friendships are adultery as well.  

Many examples of good Catholics and even some saints who lived apart from their husband and remained faithful.  Sorry but this is how it is.  No exceptions.  

OP here.

  It is cruel to deny such a woman a better life. Why so cruel? Why cant there be remarriage if this issue is not resolved no matter what?

The boyfriend will never be her true husband. Before God's eyes, the husband will always remain her true and only husband no matter what.

Catholics do not divorce nor they re-marry so they can have a new "chance" to be happy. That is worldly, secular thinking; not Catholic. As Catholics we must, as Christ commands, take up our crosses (in this case, an unfortunate marriage) and follow Him unconditionally.  

She is allowed to physically separate from her husband if she is being physically or mentally abused and work towards a reconciliation, if that is possible. If not possible, then she must live a chaste and virtuous life apart from the husband, doing God's will. The purpose of marriage is the procreation and upbringing of children, not finding "happiness" on earth. That is a silly utopia.

Separation does not mean she is free to re-marry, unless she becomes a widow. Only then, she could re-marry. That is not cruel. Catholics are concerned with Heaven, where true life is found. This earthly exile is only temporary and we need to learn how to suffer meritoriously.

The war on marriage and the Traditional family really began the day the evil of Divorce was made legal. It should be reverted. Catholics are married for life, for better or worse.