To make this relatively brief, I'm a young single woman and I'm feeling some concern over what to do in this situation.  I have a male friend, a very devout traditional Catholic.  We have been friends for a long while, and I'm starting to notice that I am developing feelings for him.  We're both eligible to court should that be something we wish to do.  He is a very good man and would make a wonderful husband and father.

I have two problems regarding this.  First, I do not know if he feels the same way about me.  I feel like he might, but I have nothing really concrete to prove it.  And I am very shy about this so I really don't want, or know how, to ask, or if that is even appropriate.  

Second. I was rather sheltered growing up, but not in a proper Catholic family, so I have no guidance about such things and have no traditional Catholics around to really ask.  Additionally, my family is, I am almost certain, going to have a cow if they find out that I am interested in someone.  I don't want to have a career, I want to have a Catholic family of my own.  I still live with my parents so I don't know how to handle something like that.  But I could be really getting ahead of myself, he might not even be interested.  

I am not a minor, just to be clear.

I would welcome any advice as well as prayers for my situation.  It has been troubling me for a long time.  Thank you.  

To make this relatively brief, I'm a young single woman and I'm feeling some concern over what to do in this situation.  I have a male friend, a very devout traditional Catholic.  We have been friends for a long while, and (1) I'm starting to notice that I am developing feelings for him.  We're both eligible to court should that be something we wish to do.  He is a very good man and would make a wonderful husband and father.

I have two problems regarding this. (2) First, I do not know if he feels the same way about me.  I feel like he might, but I have nothing really concrete to prove it.  And I am very shy about this so I really don't want, or know how, to ask, or if that is even appropriate.  

Second. (3) I was rather sheltered growing up, but not in a proper Catholic family, so I have no guidance about such things and have no traditional Catholics around to really ask.  Additionally, my family is, I am almost certain, (4) going to have a cow if they find out that I am interested in someone.  I don't want to have a career, I want to have a Catholic family of my own.  I still live with my parents so I don't know how to handle something like that.  But I could be really getting ahead of myself, he might not even be interested.  

I am not a minor, just to be clear.

I would welcome any advice as well as prayers for my situation.  It has been troubling me for a long time.  Thank you.  

I'll throw in my 2 cents, coming from a guy whose dated both younger and older women...while being undecided if I should have gone into the priesthood.

(1a)I can't speak for him, but for me, it's a look in the eyes. Regrettably, I've hurt some women I've dated in the past because, in essence I was leading them on (even though at the time it didn't hit home). I know, a typical 'jerk.' Point being, 'is he interested in you?': a.)on a physical attraction plane?, b.)enough to want to pursue a romantic 'courtship?'
(1b)another thought, is to 'enjoy the moment,' and time spent with him; and be accepting of whatever happens (whether it be romantic or not). The principle in play, is: a.)God's will, above all (even His permissible); b.)and if you want to manipulate God's permissible will then I would advise much prayer for what you want, but accepting His Will. c.)not trusting your feelings
(1c)there's been quite of few women I've gone out with that I've had guy friends tell me were 'hot' or 'attractive' and I was stupid if not insane for not pursuing them further....later I found I had nothing in common with them. A waste of both of our times (essentially an attractive Modernist female who doesn't believe in following the Commandments...) Point I'm making is that I had trusted myself wrongly in going after a female that after I had won her affections, I later regretted (so maybe he's not the one for you, in the long run).

(2a)You would have known by now if he was romantically interested. There are the few that are impossible to read (he might be the type!).  Which leads to, if he is???? Then what is his hangup??? (does he have somebody else??? or some lack of instinctive masculinity to go after what he wants???)
(2b)here too, much prayer to the Holy Ghost for discernment. We think we know people when in reality we don't have a clue. Even over a time variable, we're still a mystery to even those close to us.

(3a)awareness that you might be interpreting your interactions with him to how you want to see them; and not as they are.  
(3b)just don't want you to succuмb to confusion or chaos if you suddenly find yourself disappointed...leading to reactive and emotional responses that will sour a good friendship with him.
(3c)through your intellect, don't be afraid to engage your reason (simply refuse to believe that it is a man's domain only) to come to a strategy to deal with the changes going on within yourself; ----- but only to exploit them in a rational manner so that you win in the long run.

(4a)If you're sheltered with people around you who don't have a clue or don't care....; then consider yourself behind the proverbial eightball and not surprised if you find yourself with little options in wanting a traditional role (stay at home mom). Which means to me, that you've got to pray like a 'mo-fo' and have exceptional virtue + be extremely close to the Blessed Virgin Mary and do everything in your power never to offend her Son,...knowing that will offend her.  
(4b)Then when opportunity presents itself, be ready to take advantage of it without guilt; nor care what anybody else thinks (even if it be your parents...if be God's will). In other words, when opportunity knocks at your door; don't complain about the noise

I'm a little unclear about some of your statements.  You state that you were not raised in a "proper Catholic home", but you yourself want a Catholic home, and your friend is a "devout traditional Catholic".
Are you a devout traditional Catholic?  This point is critical.
Do you attend Mass together?  

I'm sorry if I was being unclear, although I am cautious about giving too much information away.  

Yes, I very much am a traditional Catholic.  I assist at the Mass of Ages, I spend a great deal of time studying the faith, and I pray the Rosary daily and frequently receive the sacraments.  I do my best to live an upright life and be a good example to my family, most of whom think I am crazy.

As for him, we do not see each other often because of distance but communicate on a very regular basis. When we can, we most certainly do attend Mass together, and pray, and we always discuss the faith and do our best to help each other in the practice of it.  And we pray for each other and our families.  

Also, thanks to the above posters who provided their input.  And to the poster I am replying to, I hope this extra information helps.  Thank you.

My advice would be to write letters to him and him to you.  Perhaps one letter per week each.

Not emails.  Actual letters, with postage stamps, written with a pen.

It's therapeutic.  Helps you form your thoughts, express thoughts and him to react to thoughts. Write about your day ask him about his, write thoughts, things that pain you, stir your soul etc,

If he can't be bothered to write back then he's not interested, look elsewhere.

Occasionally call each other on the phone.  But letters are superior in terms of getting to know people.  Might seem crazy and old fashioned, but it works.

My advice would be to write letters to him and him to you.  Perhaps one letter per week each.

Not emails.  Actual letters, with postage stamps, written with a pen.

It's therapeutic.  Helps you form your thoughts, express thoughts and him to react to thoughts. Write about your day ask him about his, write thoughts, things that pain you, stir your soul etc,

If he can't be bothered to write back then he's not interested, look elsewhere.

Occasionally call each other on the phone.  But letters are superior in terms of getting to know people.  Might seem crazy and old fashioned, but it works.

I think this is good advice, and I say this as a guy.  I have had occasion to write a few letters, although not directly for the purpose of courtship.  There is something to handwriting letters and reading them and not just dashing off an email.  It really does make you first collect your own thoughts to write it and also concentrate better on reading the handwriting.


I would do this, write a him a letter, pray to our heavenly Mother and see where it goes.