This is a worthy topic of discussion because a lot of us here are raising children who will marry one day. I’ve been reading the responses and thinking about it off and on since this thread was posted, and have had several discussions with my husband over it.
It seems that age gaps are fairly situational. A man isn’t wrong to want a wife who is fit for childbearing and who is largely untainted by the world. Such a woman will have the energy to be an excellent mother and the inclination to be a doting wife.
It’s no secret that many women are often attracted to men older than they are and that is natural as well. It’s not wrong for a young woman to look at a man and observe his mature and confident bearing, evaluate his financial situation, and to understand his willingness to work hard with reliability, for if she is to fulfill her natural calling wife/motherhood she will need someone that is ready and willing to provide for her and care for her and the children right out of the gate. Often times a man older than is the one who checks those boxes.
Having said that, it is possible for young men in their very early 20’s to do the same and given a choice the woman will probably pick the young man.
I live in a very rural part of the USA. As in, the nearest Walmart is about 1.5 hours away. We are a farming community and so are all of the other towns around here. It is very common for “highschool sweethearts” to marry. In fact, most all of the moms in our homeschool co-op are that. They dated a guy 2 or 3 years older than them, he graduated, worked his tail off for a year then married her. And if the guy was the son of a farmer, he’d go ahead and marry her when he was 18 because he was already set with a steady job and a house and a piece of land given to him by his father. Most of them have 3 or 4 kids and counting and they aren’t even Catholic.
Also coming from a rural community it’s not uncommon to see young men of 16 years old who were homeschooled out there working their own business, saving for their own house, and putting money away. They were raised well, taught skills and work ethic from their fathers and are very goal oriented. I think there’s a lot that people can learn from farmers and what a lot of the world calls “rednecks”.
Trad dads need to be teaching their sons masculine skills, instilling in them work ethic and practical life planning skills with the purpose of having their sons ready to marry and provide for a wife. That is so hard to do when dad is at work 50 hours a week and wants to relax when he comes home. Farmers and tradesmen can have their sons working with them and learning from them age 4 and up. With that said, why not encourage young trad boys in these vocational fields. I think it’s great for the upbringing of children.
At the same time, women need to be teaching their daughters all the skills. She needs to learn how to love and respect her future husband by watching mom. Cooking, canning, gardening, frugality, sewing, mending, fiber arts, and how to be wise in spending the family $$.
While men mature by action, independence, challenges, goals and achieving, young ladies only need a good home environment to bloom into a lovely young woman who can’t wait to nurture a family of her own. She doesn’t need higher education to fulfill her hearts desire, which is to be loved and cared for, and to bear children to her husband and nurture them. How beautiful it is! How wonderful God’s design!
We can talk about whose fault feminism is, we can rail against and argue with each other but the real work needs to happen one day, 1 moment at a time in the bosom of the home, the domestic church. Parents have a grave duty to raise our children well, to prepare them to be great husbands and wives because souls depend on it.
I got off track. I guess I’m saying that age gaps aren’t just ideal or not ideal for all situations, rather, they are used practically. A man wants a woman who is for to bearing and raising children while being docile, and a woman wants a man to love her and provide for her.
Given the modern atmosphere, a man in his 30’s looking for a teenage wife will run into a multitude of problems. In very few cases I think that kind of age gap would go well these days. Girls of 16,17,18 are not nearly as mature as girls of that age back then. Even trad girls often lack what is needed to marry young because they haven’t been raised with that in mind. They’ve been raised to get their education. For this reason I really do feel for the men looking for a wife in their 30’s and 40’s. These are hard times we live in. On the same token, there are some excellent trad women in their late 20’s that would make wonderful wives and are lamenting their circuмstances as well. Some prayerful consideration of looking outside of your ideals on age might bring you to a wonderful god fearing spouse!
This is a worthy topic of discussion because a lot of us here are raising children who will marry one day. I’ve been reading the responses and thinking about it off and on since this thread was posted, and have had several discussions with my husband over it.
It seems that age gaps are fairly situational. A man isn’t wrong to want a wife who is fit for childbearing and who is largely untainted by the world. Such a woman will have the energy to be an excellent mother and the inclination to be a doting wife.
It’s no secret that many women are often attracted to men older than they are and that is natural as well. It’s not wrong for a young woman to look at a man and observe his mature and confident bearing, evaluate his financial situation, and to understand his willingness to work hard with reliability, for if she is to fulfill her natural calling wife/motherhood she will need someone that is ready and willing to provide for her and care for her and the children right out of the gate. Often times a man older than is the one who checks those boxes.
Having said that, it is possible for young men in their very early 20’s to do the same and given a choice the woman will probably pick the young man.
I live in a very rural part of the USA. As in, the nearest Walmart is about 1.5 hours away. We are a farming community and so are all of the other towns around here. It is very common for “highschool sweethearts” to marry. In fact, most all of the moms in our homeschool co-op are that. They dated a guy 2 or 3 years older than them, he graduated, worked his tail off for a year then married her. And if the guy was the son of a farmer, he’d go ahead and marry her when he was 18 because he was already set with a steady job and a house and a piece of land given to him by his father. Most of them have 3 or 4 kids and counting and they aren’t even Catholic.
Also coming from a rural community it’s not uncommon to see young men of 16 years old who were homeschooled out there working their own business, saving for their own house, and putting money away. They were raised well, taught skills and work ethic from their fathers and are very goal oriented. I think there’s a lot that people can learn from farmers and what a lot of the world calls “rednecks”.
Trad dads need to be teaching their sons masculine skills, instilling in them work ethic and practical life planning skills with the purpose of having their sons ready to marry and provide for a wife. That is so hard to do when dad is at work 50 hours a week and wants to relax when he comes home. Farmers and tradesmen can have their sons working with them and learning from them age 4 and up. With that said, why not encourage young trad boys in these vocational fields. I think it’s great for the upbringing of children.
At the same time, women need to be teaching their daughters all the skills. She needs to learn how to love and respect her future husband by watching mom. Cooking, canning, gardening, frugality, sewing, mending, fiber arts, and how to be wise in spending the family $$.
While men mature by action, independence, challenges, goals and achieving, young ladies only need a good home environment to bloom into a lovely young woman who can’t wait to nurture a family of her own. She doesn’t need higher education to fulfill her hearts desire, which is to be loved and cared for, and to bear children to her husband and nurture them. How beautiful it is! How wonderful God’s design!
We can talk about whose fault feminism is, we can rail against and argue with each other but the real work needs to happen one day, 1 moment at a time in the bosom of the home, the domestic church. Parents have a grave duty to raise our children well, to prepare them to be great husbands and wives because souls depend on it.
I got off track. I guess I’m saying that age gaps aren’t ideal or not ideal, they are used practically. A man wants a woman who is fit for bearing and raising children while being docile, and a woman wants a man to love her and provide for her.
Given the modern atmosphere, a man in his 30’s looking for a teenage wife will run into a multitude of problems. In very few cases I think that kind of age gap would go well these days. Girls of 16,17,18 are not nearly as mature as girls of that age back then. Even trad girls often lack what is needed to marry young because they haven’t been raised with that in mind. They’ve been raised to get their education. For this reason I really do feel for the men looking for a wife in their 30’s and 40’s. These are hard times we live in. On the same token, there are some excellent trad women in their late 20’s that would make wonderful wives and are lamenting their circuмstances as well. Some prayerful consideration of looking outside of your ideals on age might bring you to a wonderful god fearing spouse!
Topic: Let's talk about age gaps (Read 5327 times)