My Grandma, after marrying her highschool sweetheart at the age of 17 (he was a few years older), lost her husband in her twenties and was left with 4 kids.
She ended up marrying a man 30 years her elder. They lived many happy years together. At the time she faced a lot of backlash for it and even got disowned by some family members. She was the talk of the town- most everyone thought she was a gold digger, but she really did love him and they shared a great deal of things in common.

3 years after my grandma’s first husband died, she came to know my grandpa. He and his wife lived next door. About a year after his wife died of cancer, my grandpa had seen her struggling to fix something on her house so being a good neighbor, he came over to help his widowed neighbor accomplish a task that she was really missing her husband for. She did not have any money to offer him so she invited him over for Sunday dinner. From then on he was always there to fix things for her and she always invited him to Sunday dinner. They got to know each other during that time and she grew to love him for his kindness toward her and for the stability he offered her and her children in her vulnerable state. He grew to love her for her gentle kindness and hospitality toward him during such a lonely time so they married.

After many good years he died. My poor grandma has been alone for a little over 20 years now.  My grandma and I are very close. We confide in each other often. She has told me that despite the bitter sting of loneliness, she wouldn’t have done it differently. She loved both of her husbands very much, in different ways.

Her story is different, obviously. She married young to a young husband before marrying a man with a large age gap. I’m just relating the story to MichaelKnoxville because you never know what might come along even if you consider yourself over the hill!

I don't disagree with the logic, but you are dealing with 2025 women and girls and it is not fair to expect them to suddenly accept an ideology that is extremely foreign.  The point is this topic can't be forced and the men keep calling the women feminists, which shuts down the conversation. If you want a respectful conversation, you need to model respect.  This is why the men need to hash it out in the men's forum and then husbands can have a real conversation with their wives  If you want order, practice order. 

I have to throw in my two cents for what it’s worth. Just 200 years ago and less kids used to be married at 15 and already know how to run a home, build a home, and start a life together. No we watch kids that age break eachothers hearts and run around like crazy with multiple partners and out of wedlock pregnancies. Now it is acceptable to be considered a child into your 30s living in mas basement. I don’t think it’s possible for kids to remain celibate especially if they are going to college and have to remain like that until they are well into their 20s it’s just not natural and makes for low reproduction rates and high abortion rates. At 40 years old I have absolutely nothing in common with 20 year old women so I’m not sure what the fantasy is of courting one. That’s not very natural either but in order to get kids 14-16 to straighten out when it comes to relationships I don’t see any other way than raising them right and marrying them off young. I think that would greatly benefit the society and stop a lot of heart brake and bad consequences that we see today in the man woman divide. At 40 if your still single and childless like me it’s a tragedy! My parents low key hate me for it. Unless your celibate for religious reasons, your a saint or priest, it’s not natural or even healthy to be alone! Ask me how I know 🤣 it’s just depressing, lonely, and your asking to be a cat lady or a dog daddy. This is not good! The only way I see to correct is to go back to the way it’s been done 1000s of years and get these kids family oriented by just a few short years into puberty. If your still single and looking for one of these young girls by the time your in your late 20s and 30s there is something wrong with you because you should have been married by then anyway!

My brother, I have been reading your posts and its clear you are depressed. I'm sorry for this.

But it does not mean the rest of us men have to listen to you when you talk like this. As someone who has suffered from (mild) depression in my past, I can say it is possible to get over it and be happy, but you have to take measures. You certainly are doing some of this by reaching out on cathinfo. Good for you.

And you made initially some good points there in your post.

But it's just so silly to think that you cannot or should not get a woman. You absolutely have a lot of time and can pretty easily get women in their late twenties and thirties. An 18 year old might be harder, but go for it if you can.

It's also equally absurd to try to tear other men down for trying to get a woman who is younger.


It is totally natural for a man even and old man to be attracted to a fertile woman. What you may need to do before you get one is work on your career a bit or maybe exercise or whatever, but that may not take long.

But if by wrong you mean there are many obstacles to people meeting good Catholics, then yes I obviously agree with that.

Apologies- I am posted too soon-here is the cleaned up version for the OP

      I am not going to assume anything; I will directly ask the questions. I am also not interested in name-calling. I am here in a forum to debate and discuss. If you need to do that—knock yourself out.

**Yes, and five years is a long time for a child to develop, learn and gain experiences while a 30 year old has already matured and is now aging (but still gaining experiences). 

  Are you looking at 10 year old children to determine if they will be a potential spouse for you in the future based on aesthetics?

Words are important because they convey information. Words also change meanings over the ages. Instead of becoming defensive, look at this logically. You seem to be upset when your logic is challenged but if the reader of the post understands the word and definition differently from how you use it/intended then there is a problem. The word “attractive” doesn’t require the adjective “sɛҳuąƖly” as it has its own meaning.
For reference, this the definition (definition one) I used when I read your post: https://webstersdictionary1828.com/Dictionary/attractive
“Having the quality of attracting; drawing to; as the attractive force of bodies.”

With that definition in mind, read this statement, “10-12 yr olds are more attractive THAN 30+ YEAR OLDS.”

** Just to confirm: the “risk” you mention refers to wanting a large number of children and believing that a younger woman provides more potential for childbearing. Is that correct?

How many children is too little or too much? I have a relative who married at 27 and there are 13 children and I have another relative who married at 20 and he and his wife were unable to conceive. 

Words don’t “trip me up”, rather, the incorrect use of them (or was it correct- you will need to confirm).
What definition are you using for the word appeal?

My Grandma, after marrying her highschool sweetheart at the age of 17 (he was a few years older), lost her husband in her twenties and was left with 4 kids.
She ended up marrying a man 30 years her elder. They lived many happy years together. At the time she faced a lot of backlash for it and even got disowned by some family members. She was the talk of the town- most everyone thought she was a gold digger, but she really did love him and they shared a great deal of things in common.

3 years after my grandma’s first husband died, she came to know my grandpa. He and his wife lived next door. About a year after his wife died of cancer, my grandpa had seen her struggling to fix something on her house so being a good neighbor, he came over to help his widowed neighbor accomplish a task that she was really missing her husband for. She did not have any money to offer him so she invited him over for Sunday dinner. From then on he was always there to fix things for her and she always invited him to Sunday dinner. They got to know each other during that time and she grew to love him for his kindness toward her and for the stability he offered her and her children in her vulnerable state. He grew to love her for her gentle kindness and hospitality toward him during such a lonely time so they married.

After many good years he died. My poor grandma has been alone for a little over 20 years now.  My grandma and I are very close. We confide in each other often. She has told me that despite the bitter sting of loneliness, she wouldn’t have done it differently. She loved both of her husbands very much, in different ways.

Her story is different, obviously. She married young to a young husband before marrying a man with a large age gap. I’m just relating the story to MichaelKnoxville because you never know what might come along even if you consider yourself over the hill!

It's what you implied most certainly