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Author Topic: Let's talk about age gaps  (Read 67137 times)

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Offline Gray2023

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Re: Let's talk about age gaps
« Reply #645 on: November 29, 2025, 05:52:16 PM »
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  • It’s 35.
    And that God can override things.  I had 5 sons in my 30/40s, not because I wanted to, just because my husband and I were protestant and selfish.  I get the men want a rule set to follow, but I am not sure what more they want from this forum.  It is really getting frustrating. (Yes I know get off the internet if I am frustrated, it's called a figure of speech, not an actual emotional reaction.)
    Fatti Maschii, Parole Femine

    Online jen51

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    Re: Let's talk about age gaps
    « Reply #646 on: November 29, 2025, 05:53:07 PM »
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  • Don't worry, Jen51, you have time....
    My own mother had her last baby at age 41, while two sisters had their last at ages 45 and 46 (at home with midwives).
    That’s amazing! I’ve always admired mothers who birth at home, especially at that age. 
    Religion clean and undefiled before God and the Father, is this: to visit the fatherless and widows in their tribulation: and to keep one's self unspotted from this world.
    ~James 1:27


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    Re: Let's talk about age gaps
    « Reply #647 on: November 29, 2025, 06:01:41 PM »
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  • And that God can override things.  I had 5 sons in my 30/40s, not because I wanted to, just because my husband and I were protestant and selfish.  I get the men want a rule set to follow, but I am not sure what more they want from this forum.  It is really getting frustrating. (Yes I know get off the internet if I am frustrated, it's called a figure of speech, not an actual emotional reaction.)
    It's getting frustrating for some of us men, too.

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    Re: Let's talk about age gaps
    « Reply #648 on: November 29, 2025, 06:03:26 PM »
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  • That’s amazing! I’ve always admired mothers who birth at home, especially at that age.
    I grew up with a neighbor who had her last child at age 51, after becoming a grandmother!

    Offline Simeon

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    Re: Let's talk about age gaps
    « Reply #649 on: November 29, 2025, 06:34:14 PM »
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  • I’m sorry, I’m not sure what happened, but for some reason my post showed up twice in the same post and I can’t edit it. :facepalm:

    Your post was so good, it was worthy of being read twice! 


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    Re: Let's talk about age gaps
    « Reply #650 on: November 29, 2025, 06:41:09 PM »
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  • I grew up with a neighbor who had her last child at age 51, after becoming a grandmother!
    And how old was she when she had her first child?

    Also you are doing the meme.

    Man: most women are 5"6
    Woman: but I'm 5"8

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    Re: Let's talk about age gaps
    « Reply #651 on: November 29, 2025, 06:41:53 PM »
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  • It’s 35. Don’t remind me! :jester:
    Yeah sorry that was a typo.

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    Re: Let's talk about age gaps
    « Reply #652 on: November 29, 2025, 06:42:51 PM »
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  • You are delusional, immature, and ignorant.

    14 year old girls get crushes all the time, day in and day out.  It's because their hormones are going crazy.

    A 24 year old man looking at a 14 year old towards marriage is a perv.
    A man who wants to have a Holy and Happy family life is a pervert???? You aren't Catholic. This is so vile, feminism truly is going to damn a lot of women.


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    Re: Let's talk about age gaps
    « Reply #653 on: November 29, 2025, 06:43:45 PM »
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  • Not if she's 13 and he's 20+.  That's just a perv.
    No that fine as well, cope. You are just a feminist, stop calling health men pervs, it's vile and unCatholic. There is no sin here.

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    Re: Let's talk about age gaps
    « Reply #654 on: November 29, 2025, 06:44:00 PM »
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  • The only people who want to have huge age gaps between men and women dating/marrying are pedophiles.
    Retard alert.

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    Re: Let's talk about age gaps
    « Reply #655 on: November 29, 2025, 06:46:13 PM »
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  • I don't disagree with the logic, but you are dealing with 2025 women and girls and it is not fair to expect them to suddenly accept an ideology that is extremely foreign.  The point is this topic can't be forced and the men keep calling the women feminists, which shuts down the conversation. If you want a respectful conversation, you need to model respect.  This is why the men need to hash it out in the men's forum and then husbands can have a real conversation with their wives  If you want order, practice order. 
    No you are ignoring the clear feminist infection on this forum. It's quite clear they keep making shit up and calling healthy men perverts. These posters aren't Catholic, they don't care about nuances, only attacking men for being men and not pathetic cucks, simps and whipped beta male feminists. 


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    Re: Let's talk about age gaps
    « Reply #656 on: November 29, 2025, 07:17:46 PM »
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  • This is presented here as factual but is actually not factual.  I would stick with Proberbs rather than speculation.

    Good explanation here:
    Was St. Joseph an old man or a young man when Jesus was born?
    Scripture does not tell us explicitly, and there’s no consensus within Catholic art or theology on the matter. Our own assumptions about Joseph’s age might depend on which art we’ve happened to see. For instance, Caravaggio’s Rest on the Flight into Egypt depicts Joseph as an old man, with gray hair and a gray beard, alongside a young Mary, nursing the Christ Child. But El Greco’s St. Joseph and the Christ Child, painted only a few years later, depicts Joseph as a much younger man. Why the discrepancy?
    These days, the “old Joseph” camp is largely associated with the Eastern half of the Church and with Eastern Orthodoxy. Why might a person believe that St. Joseph was an older man? Usually, the people holding to this view believe that Joseph was a widower, and that the “brothers” of Jesus mentioned in the Bible were Joseph’s children from a previous marriage. St. Epiphanius, for instance, argued that St. James “was Joseph’s son by Joseph’s first wife, not by Mary.” Additionally, those who hold the “old Joseph” view point out that Joseph appears to have died some time between Jesus’ thirteenth year and his public ministry: the last we hear of him is after the finding of Jesus in the Temple (Luke 2:41:51).
    A major reason for this view’s popularity in the East is the influence of a popular second-century text called the Protoevangelium of James, falsely claimed to be written by the Apostle James. In the Protoevangelium’s account, after the Virgin Mary turned twelve, heralds went out to all of Judaea to find widowers who could marry her to protect her and preserve her pledged virginity. The widowers, each carrying rods, came before the high priest, and a dove flew out of Joseph’s rod, signifying God’s choice. Joseph initially refused, saying, “I have children, and I am an old man, and she is a young girl. I am afraid lest I become a laughing-stock to the sons of Israel.” Joseph remains ashamed of this age difference and considers claiming Mary as his daughter (rather than his wife) in responding to the census. Even after the birth of Jesus, he insists that while they are betrothed, Mary is not really his wife, since her child is of the Holy Spirit.
    A later (perhaps sixth-century) Egyptian text called The History of Joseph the Carpenter went farther, claiming that Joseph lived to be 111 and presenting Jesus as saying Joseph “lived forty years unmarried; thereafter his wife remained under his care forty-nine years, and then died. And a year after her death, my mother, the blessed Mary, was entrusted to him by the priests, that he should keep her until the time of her marriage.” By that telling, Joseph was already in his nineties by the time Jesus was born.
    The Protoevangelium is from the East (perhaps Syria), and its stories became popular in both East and West, but Western theologians tended not to take its accounts seriously. The book was among those condemned by Pope Innocent I in 405, and again by the “Decretum Gelasianum.” Nevertheless, stories from the Protoevangelium crept into the Western medieval imagination via yet another false Gospel, a seventh-century text called The Gospel of Pseudo-Matthew, which implausibly claimed both to have been written in Hebrew by the apostle and translated into Latin by St. Jerome. This text borrows heavily from the Protoevangelium and presents Joseph as saying Mary is younger than his grandchildren.
    Even while theologians (including the pope) criticized the texts as unreliable, their stories nevertheless captured the public’s imagination, an influence that can be seen on centuries’ worth of art (primarily paintings, but also medieval dramas and even songs, like “The Cherry-Tree Carol”) throughout the Church.
    What caused Western theologians to reject this view of St. Joseph in favor of a younger Joseph? Partially, the influence of St. Jerome, who argued that the “brothers” of Jesus were more likely first cousins (Aramaic uses “brothers” as a kind of familial catch-all). Two of the “brothers” St. Mark mentions, James and Joses (6:3), he later describes as the sons of another Mary (15:40,47)—likely, Mary, the wife of Clopas (John 19:25; Luke 24:18). Thus, they do seem to be not Joseph’s sons from a previous marriage, but the sons of Mary and Clopas (who tradition holds was Joseph’s brother).
    Jerome’s view eliminates the need to believe that Joseph was a widower, but it doesn’t automatically mean that Joseph was a young man. For that, we should look to the influence of theologians like Jean Gerson (1363-1429), chancellor of the prestigious University of Paris, who used sermons, theological treatises, and even poetry to argue that St. Joseph was being overlooked and misunderstood. Was it really likely that the man who fled with his family into Egypt in the middle of the night was a nonagenarian? And if he did have kids from a previous marriage, where were they during the events of the first Christmas?
    More important was the implicit view of chastity. As Ven. Fulton Sheen would later observe, many of the popular “old Joseph” depictions “unconsciously made Joseph a spouse chaste and pure by age rather than virtue.” Sheen argued that Joseph “was probably a young man, strong, virile, athletic, handsome, chaste, and disciplined,” the kind of man one sees sometimes “working at a carpenter’s bench. Instead of being a man incapable of love, he must have been on fire with love.” St. Josemaría Escrivá, founder of Opus Dei, agreed: “I see him as a strong young man, perhaps a few years older than our Lady, but in the prime of his life and work.” Whatever his age, Joseph was of working age recently enough for the townspeople to describe the adult Jesus as “the carpenter’s son” (Matt. 13:55), and as Pope Francis points out, it was from St. Joseph that Jesus learned “the value, the dignity and the joy of what it means to eat bread that is the fruit of one’s own labor.”
    A via media is possible. Recent historical scholarship, looking at rabbinical sources (telling people how they should conduct marriage) and the handful of ancient Jєωιѕн marriage docuмents (showing how they actually did) has given us greater insight into the marrying age of first-century Jews. Michael L. Satlow, professor of religious studies and Judaic studies at Brown University, summarizes by saying Jєωιѕн men in first-century Palestine may have married around thirty, with Jєωιѕн women marrying in their mid- to late-teens. The evidence is far from conclusive, and there’s nothing preventing Joseph from marrying earlier or later than average (particularly if he was remarrying), but it paints a different portrait of Joseph from a man either 90 years old or only a few years older than Mary. Such a man would likely have been strong enough to work as a carpenter and transport his family from Nazareth to Bethlehem to Egypt, but he would also be more likely to predecease his young wife, and it would be hardly surprising for him not to live to see his son’s adult ministry.
    As you can see, great theologians and even great saints are divided on the question of the age difference between Joseph and Mary. But where we are all united is in our being under Joseph’s fatherly protection, and our need for his intercession. St. Joseph, pray for us!

    https://www.catholic.com/magazine/online-edition/old-joseph-young-joseph


    This is just my own, hopefully pious opinion, and which is based on several books I've read:

    St. Joseph was young but not tender in age. Most likely around thirty. 

    There was a strong family resemblance between Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, as they actually are blood relations. 

    Joseph and Jesus resembled one another for mystical reasons (as well as practical): Joseph was the image and likeness of the Father; and the Eternal Word is also the image and likeness of the Father; therefore they were in relation to each other as the Father and the Word are in a relation.

    Christian art makes abundant use of symbolism. The "old Joseph trope" is a symbol of the chaste marriage which forms the bedrock of the Holy Family. It is figurative. 

    A young, beautiful, yet chaste Joseph is prefigured in the Book of Genesis. 

    Gen 49:22: Joseph is a growing son, a growing son and comely to behold.

    Gen 39:6-10: Joseph was of a beautiful countenance, and comely to behold. And after many days his mistress cast her eyes on Joseph, and said: Lie with me. But he, in no wise consenting to that wicked act, said to her: Behold, my master hath delivered all things to me, and knoweth not what he hath in his own house: Neither is there any thing which is not in my power, or that he hath not delivered to me, but thee, who art his wife: how then can I do this wicked thing, and sin against my God? With such words as these day by day, both the woman was importunate with the young man, and he refused the adultery.

    This shows forth clearly that Joseph, in the strength of his youthful virility and beauty, received into his care and possession the two most precious Persons on earth - the Son of the Father and the Spouse of the Holy Ghost. And further, that this entrustment is founded upon absolute purity of body, mind, and heart..

    Hath God no power to quiet the flesh in a beautiful and vibrant man? If there is no such power in God, then the 6th and 9th Commandments are impossible to obey (except when you're old); and the celibate priesthood is as impossible as the enemies of the Church declare. 

    The gap between our Lady and St. Joseph was fifteen years. Let us keep in mind that our Lady was not intended by God to bring forth many children. Her Childbearing was perfected in one Conception. Why did God arrange Her marriage when She was still so young? I think it had to do with custom in Israel. Perhaps fifteen represents a kind of perfection in a woman. We know that thirty represents perfection in a man. I would surmise that Mary and Joseph were intended to be married at the time of the perfection of their earthly ages. They embarked upon their mission from God at the perfect ages of fifteen and thirty. Our Lord embarked upon His public ministry at the age of 30 - His perfect age. 

    Thus, though Mary and Joseph be indeed our models for family life, their "age gap" points to mystical realities. 

    Modern women are violently and hatefully trashed because they lose their virginity, get passed around by men, and incapacitate themselves for marriage. 

    What about porn addled men? No one ever speaks about the pollution of their bodies, minds, and souls after years of being enslaved to that habit. 

    Both men AND women become incapacitated for marriage by living lives of sɛҳuąƖ impurity.  
     

    Offline Simeon

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    Re: Let's talk about age gaps
    « Reply #657 on: November 29, 2025, 07:19:18 PM »
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  • This is just my own, hopefully pious opinion, and which is based on several books I've read:

    St. Joseph was young but not tender in age. Most likely around thirty.

    There was a strong family resemblance between Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, as they actually are blood relations.

    Joseph and Jesus resembled one another for mystical reasons (as well as practical): Joseph was the image and likeness of the Father; and the Eternal Word is also the image and likeness of the Father; therefore they were in relation to each other as the Father and the Word are in a relation.

    Christian art makes abundant use of symbolism. The "old Joseph trope" is a symbol of the chaste marriage which forms the bedrock of the Holy Family. It is figurative.

    A young, beautiful, yet chaste Joseph is prefigured in the Book of Genesis.

    Gen 49:22: Joseph is a growing son, a growing son and comely to behold.

    Gen 39:6-10: Joseph was of a beautiful countenance, and comely to behold. And after many days his mistress cast her eyes on Joseph, and said: Lie with me. But he, in no wise consenting to that wicked act, said to her: Behold, my master hath delivered all things to me, and knoweth not what he hath in his own house: Neither is there any thing which is not in my power, or that he hath not delivered to me, but thee, who art his wife: how then can I do this wicked thing, and sin against my God? With such words as these day by day, both the woman was importunate with the young man, and he refused the adultery.

    This shows forth clearly that Joseph, in the strength of his youthful virility and beauty, received into his care and possession the two most precious Persons on earth - the Son of the Father and the Spouse of the Holy Ghost. And further, that this entrustment is founded upon absolute purity of body, mind, and heart..

    Hath God no power to quiet the flesh in a beautiful and vibrant man? If there is no such power in God, then the 6th and 9th Commandments are impossible to obey (except when you're old); and the celibate priesthood is as impossible as the enemies of the Church declare.

    The gap between our Lady and St. Joseph was fifteen years. Let us keep in mind that our Lady was not intended by God to bring forth many children. Her Childbearing was perfected in one Conception. Why did God arrange Her marriage when She was still so young? I think it had to do with custom in Israel. Perhaps fifteen represents a kind of perfection in a woman. We know that thirty represents perfection in a man. I would surmise that Mary and Joseph were intended to be married at the time of the perfection of their earthly ages. They embarked upon their mission from God at the perfect ages of fifteen and thirty. Our Lord embarked upon His public ministry at the age of 30 - His perfect age.

    Thus, though Mary and Joseph be indeed our models for family life, their "age gap" points to mystical realities.

    Modern women are violently and hatefully trashed because they lose their virginity, get passed around by men, and incapacitate themselves for marriage.

    What about porn addled men? No one ever speaks about the pollution of their bodies, minds, and souls after years of being enslaved to that habit.

    Both men AND women become incapacitated for marriage by living lives of sɛҳuąƖ impurity. 
     

    Sorry, this was me. I don't like posting any more anonymously than under the name of Simeon and the image of Sherlock! 

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    Re: Let's talk about age gaps
    « Reply #658 on: November 29, 2025, 08:05:11 PM »
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  • My girls are still too sheltered at that age. They aren't "out in the world" yet. They don't know the birds & bees yet. Also, their homeschool workload gets pretty serious around age 15 or 16. We're talking college classes, advanced AP classes, etc.
    In our particular family (due to genetics, etc.) we are very high IQ, so my wife and I decided to have some decently high standards for our children's homeschool education.

    In modern day America, the culture and country in which we live, it is EXPECTED for a person to complete high school. That is one thing that has changed from the Middle Ages.
    I'm not saying they have to go to college (that is the next step many people take -- they want the girl to not just have a HS diploma, but a college degree as well "just in case")

    But I think having a high school diploma isn't too much to ask. The young man can have some patience. She'll still have some fertility left at 18, come on now. (I'm being facetious here, but actually pregnancy under the age of 18 isn't even ideal from a biological standpoint. And for Trad Catholics, marriage = likely pregnancy).

    As for honorable courtship at 14 or 16, that would totally distract a girl from what she needs to be learning, studying, and doing during her "finishing off" period before she comes of age. But the finishing off period is something I never thought about until a few years ago.

    Try to consider the parents point of view. You have children. You are responsible for them. You want them to be happy. You love them. You want to teach them the important things you know about the world, so they don't have to learn things the hard way. HOW DO YOU DO THAT IF THEY COULD BE GONE AT 16?
    Just for starters, MANY topics you can't introduce until you've cleared the prerequisite course, "Birds & Bees 101". And do you REALLY want to take a totally innocent girl and introduce things to them they REALLY don't need to think or worry about?
    I'm not going to introduce deep adult topics too early just so they can grow up a few years early. That's not necessary at all.

    I don't just throw my kids into the deep end of knowledge, or the world, and hope they swim. I allow them to be kids when they're kids. (except I do teach them to work and practice self-mortification -- doing what you don't want to do -- from an early age)
    I insist they learn all the basics, including knowing how to cook, clean, etc. Both boys and girls. But I allow them time to play, have fun, and be kids. I'm preparing them for a REALISTIC future -- which, let's be honest, will be mostly work and certainly not all fun & games.

    But no, I don't teach my daughters to have a GenZ-like attitude towards age. As homeschoolers, my kids aren't obsessed with limiting all socializing to a narrow age range plus 2 years and minus 2 years from their own age. That's not realistic at all. Just look at any office or workplace. Or convent, monastery, etc. Nowhere in the real world are you sectioned off with 30 or 50 people born in the same year as you. Public school is artificial as hell, designed to create mindless drones for corporate offices, and destructive in every way.

    I'm all for preparing my children with the proper information at the proper age. But until they have to go study/work/etc. out there in the world, they don't need to know all the gritty details about men and how the world works.

    Maybe the answer would be different for some public school girls whose innocence was taken away years earlier -- both in terms of knowledge and experience -- but neither of those things apply to my Trad, homeschooled daughters.

    Best post of yours I've ever read!

    Your daughters have immortal souls; and if they become wives and mothers, their having been "finished" by two loving and caring parents will mean something massive for the next generation. 

    Offline Simeon

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    Re: Let's talk about age gaps
    « Reply #659 on: November 29, 2025, 08:09:48 PM »
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  • Best post of yours I've ever read!

    Your daughters have immortal souls; and if they become wives and mothers, their having been "finished" by two loving and caring parents will mean something massive for the next generation.

    This was me.