Whatever that attraction was scared me so much I don't think I wanted to kiss another guy until I was 19.

Agreed, and this is the perfect response to the prideful rejection of literally all of human widsom since our first parents.

Nobody is saying that most marriages need to be age gaps.

Whats new is the rejection of the age gap.


We are witnessing the almost organized gaslighting by the trad feminists on this forum to try convince normal people that it is somehow bad to allow your teenage girl to marry an older guy, cos "times have changed".


You know something, times have changed, and if that means anything, WE NEED MORE AGE GAP MARRIAGES, not whatever the normal amount was in previous eras. Why? Because, as I explained and did admit, there is a maturity problem with young men now. There is also an economic issue of affording a house. So if people keep forcing the "must marry within 5-10 years older and no more" nonsense, then their girls may not find anyone. And this won't be realized until it is too late.

Many trad girls are finding this out now. The hard way. All they needed was good, open minded fathers to tell them to drop their frivolous standards (not the good ones obviously), and accept that they are not going to get everything they want. The wanted their dads to take an interest. And now we have single women all over the resistance who, either are not going to get married at all or marry badly.

this is the trad equivalent of "Hoe phase to trad wife" thing we hear bandied around on social media. Trad equivalent in that the "hoes" herself out to worldly ideas, and then later, when its too late, decides she is "going to settle". Only to find that the only men interested in her are the weaker variety of men.

If their fathers had only explained to them that men are attracted to docile women, not prideful witches who think their "education" is a flex, then they might have had a happy life.

Oh well, yawl will find out for sure at your judgment!

boyfriend, or someone they courted?

When I talk to my friends about what their future boyfriend or husband should look like, they never say something out of this world or illogical. It's mostly some mens wrong impression of women or their excuse to never try when they say women have high standards.
For example This man is 💫ideal💫 to me : 3 years older or my age (must be around my age and no more than 3 year age gab betweenus), 5cms taller, same socioeconomic level as my family, have a job (any job at all), be attractive (because yes I also need to be simulated if we are to have s)
These are my standards that I could think of that are rational , to be in a relationship with a man. I don't think they are too high and even if they are I cant go any lower because otherwise I dont think I would want to be in that relationship and would just be unnecessary resentment between us. And no one wants or deserves that.
I don't want a less attractive guy as I already have my stuff together and if I'm sleeping with a guy he should be as attractive to me as I'm attractive to him.
I'm willing to not be in a relationship as I have everything I need from my parents and my job and if I'm ever in any length of s..ual relationship with a man he should be attractive and stimulating for me because why would I ever gorce myself to have s with a man I'm not attracted to.

I think a lot of people don’t realize just how small the pool can get sometimes. You absolutely have the right to be into whoever you’re into, and I totally agree that you shouldn’t pursue someone you’re not genuinely interested in.

For example, I’m a man whose type tends to be taller women, but I recognize that’s an uphill battle, so I’ll usually compromise on that or other parts of my type to find a better partner overall.

That said, hypothetically...

Say you live in a city like Portland, which has the 25th largest metro area with around 2.5 million people.

- Roughly 1.25 million of those are men.

- About 321,000 are between 20–29. If you’re 26, that narrows it to roughly 140,000 people.

- If you’re looking for someone of similar socioeconomic status (assuming middle class), that cuts it roughly in half to 70,000.

- You mentioned height, assuming you mean 5′8″ and up, about 65% of men qualify, bringing it down to 45,000.

- About 45% of men are already in relationships, leaving around 20,000. (That number could be lower if you’re a bit older.)

- If you’re selective with the face card and say you find 30% of men attractive, that’s 6,600.

- Remove another 30% for being out of shape or otherwise unattractive, leaving ~4,400.

- If politics matter, around 40% of men identify as conservative (more if white), which brings the number to just under 2,000.

And this still doesn’t account for things like bad personalities, race, unresolved trauma, lack of chemistry in and out the bedroom, religious differences, hygiene, relationship rediness, or mutual interest, and so on...all of which could easily bring that number below 1,000 men in a decently sized metro area.

To someone who is perceiving a 4-5 year age gap as alight...you are literally looking for 1% of men

These numbers aren’t meant to be exact, as I know some of these can fold into each other, but it's to illustrate how quickly preferences can cut at the dating pool.

To be clear, I fully support having standards, but I also wanted to show why some people point out how selective dating can be especially when bringing in in physical attraction (which might be even lower, given how many men don’t take care of themselves).

If politics matter, around 40% of men identify as conservative (more if white), which brings the number to just under 2,000.

This also means you now have to search through 1.25m people to find these 2k guys. Don't worry, it's just 1/1000. If you meet the equivalent of an entire high school class at a large school, you could meet one person! But then again, maybe they're single, or maybe they say the wrong thing over text, or maybe the fucking weather is acting up and you just feel some type of way.

But ya, this is a totally sane way to go about dating.

In theory, most of them you won't run into, at least when actively looking around as obviously a 45 yr old married man or a 85 year old man are included in the 1.25 but not who she should be chasing...but I hear you. I also think there's no sense in her folding on standards if she has them, just acknowledging them and moving the best way possible to give her a chance of finding the guy accordingly is important.
If she was out at a bar, doing intramural sports, or a part of book club where men are also around its more like 1/330. That's what she would have to sift through.
For reference, you have the same odds of winning >50$ on a scratch ticket.
But to meet this guy outside, have him walk up to you, assuming mutual attraction and get off onto the right foot...it'll just take some time

If she was out at a bar, doing intramural sports, or a part of book club where men are also around its more like 1/330. That's what she would have to sift through.

That 1/330 is also wanted by 10 other girls, and those 10 other girls are also texting two other 1/330 at the same time. Then, what happens all three of those 1/330 men go on a single date with these women and decided none of them are interested in being in a relationship with them in reality, as the only thing the women were capable of was creating their precious list and picking him, like they saw on TV. These women are immature and either not ready for a relationship or consciously not willing to enter one. That's why the fertility rate and marriage rate have dropped. That's why everyone is single.

Yeah I was that guy haha, I'm aware. I blame societal conditioning more than anything else, and don't think it's worth getting mad about really.

Also FWIW she may be into guy 1/330, where as another woman may be into 4/330, her type is not everyone's type ,but I do agree that most of these men are probably relatively universally attractive.

I do think if people physically saw this represented at a bar for example it would really shift things. Like if it was women took initiative regularly, the visual of people gathering around this one person would be wild. I saw it when I was younger when there were two women camping out in this guys bedroom, while he was with another woman in a different area of the house.

Basically women want men that are a mix of traditonal things exactly where they want them and progressive things exactly when they want them, while they can act as traditional women when they want, and act as progressive women when they want.

For consideration, some of the men who might be having this conversation are in the 21 to 28 age group. If they want an age gap like Aristotle suggested then they are looking at the 2 year olds to 9 years olds.  I know men talk in theories with no ill will, but women look at practicalities.  I am just saying all this because I want people to understand the frustrations from both sides.

There was once a thread called something like “Why are so many trads weird?”

In that thread, a woman recounted that while in the basement with her husband and 1 year-old daughter for coffee after Mass, they were approached by a man resembling Mr. Peanut (Monocle, top hat, cane, and 3-piece suit), who introduced himself and proceeded to ask the couple for their daughter’s hand in marriage (ie., arranged). It was not well-received.

I guess I am anomaly.  I just assumed that even though women have lists, they really rely on their intuition (emotion, but the useful part) to pick a spouse.  By my own standards my husband didn't meet my list, I wanted someone older, he is 2 years younger.  I was interested in Asian men, he was white. We have been together 30 years and have a strong marriage.  (No I am not in charge, just because people make bad assumptions, it doesn't mean they are true.) 

To the person who is so worried about finding someone, I really think the demons are using your worry against you.  I am sure there are women, who feel that they will never meet the standards of a Traditional Catholic man.

My only advice is to pray for your chosen spouse (even if you don't know who that is yet) and TRUST God to provide.

For consideration, some of the men who might be having this conversation are in the 21 to 28 age group. If they want an age gap like Aristotle suggested then they are looking at the 2 year olds to 9 years olds.  I know men talk in theories with no ill will, but women look at practicalities.  I am just saying all this because I want people to understand the frustrations from both sides.